There’s a certain sting that only comes when someone who once meant so much to you becomes just someone that you used to know. It’s a haunting pain that no one knows you carry. On the outside, no one sees it. But, on the inside, you’re shattered.
When you look at your old photos filled with your two smiling faces, it’s natural to ask God, “Why did this happen to us? We had something special. Now we don’t even know each other. I just don’t understand, Lord.”
As followers of Christ, how are we supposed to deal with this? How do we move on from someone who left us, betrayed us, ghosted us, or simply faded away—yet still echoes in our memory like a song on repeat?
This is Luke’s story. But if you’ve ever had to let go of someone who felt essential to your happiness, this might be your story too.
1. God Let Them Become “Just Someone You Used to Know” Because the Bond You Shared Was Rooted in a Temporal Foundation
1 Corinthians 13:7, “Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”
Luke met Emma at a campus Bible study at their Christian college. In an instant, they both felt a strong spiritual connection. Within days of meeting each other, they had become an official dating couple. They prayed together and served together at ministry events hosted by their college. They had long, theologically deep conversations as they sat late into the night on the bench outside Emma’s dorm.
But then they graduated. Emma moved back to Chicago and Luke moved back to Jacksonville. The distance instantly divided them. Luke tried to keep pursuing Emma, but he could tell her new life was pulling her away.
In a matter of weeks, she grew distant. The texts became fewer. The replies shorter. Then one day she sent a final message, “Hey, I think God is leading me in a different direction. I wish you the best.” And that was it. She was gone. No argument. No scandal. Just silence. Like a dream that vanishes when you wake, Luke wondered what he could have done differently to keep Emma in his life.
So what happened? The truth is, some people are connected to each other because of a deep alignment in both of their hearts while others get connected simply because of their common external environments. When the common bond that kept them together is no longer present, the connection vanishes too. For Luke and Emma, it was the college experience that kept them together. When that ended, they ended too.
Thus, you won’t really know if you and someone will last until that temporal common bond ends. If you’re in college, on a mission’s trip, or you meet someone at work, you have to test the relationship outside of that common area to really see if you and this person can have a lasting relationship.
2. God Let This Person Become “Just Someone You Used to Know” Because Some People Are Meant to Be in Your Life for a Season, Not a Lifetime
“For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven.” – Ecclesiastes 3:1
Luke once believed Emma was a permanent character in his story. But God showed him she was just a chapter, not a main character that would be there at the end.
Some relationships are not meant to last forever—they’re meant to teach us, grow us, or even reveal parts of ourselves we couldn’t see without them.
Emma showed Luke how deeply he could care. She challenged his theology, encouraged his prayer life, and even stirred in him the desire for marriage. Her role had value, even if it was temporary. Without her, he would never have realized how much he wanted to find the right woman God had for him.
Luke came to understand that not every goodbye is a rejection. Sometimes it’s just a redirection.
It’s like a relay race: some people are meant to run with you for a stretch, hand you something valuable, and then pass the baton to the next runner. The race isn’t over; it’s just moved into a new phase.
3. God Let Them Become “Just Someone You Used to Know” to Teach You How to Release Someone Without Holding onto Bitterness
“Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.” – Ephesians 4:31
Luke played their memories like a looped playlist in his mind, trying to figure out what went wrong. And soon, bitterness crept in like a slow leak in a tire, subtly deflating his spirit.
God began to speak to him in those quiet moments, “Bitterness won’t heal you. Release will.”
One night, while journaling, Luke felt prompted to write: “Lord, she was never mine to own—only mine to honor while she was in my life.”
It wasn’t an instant fix. But it was a step. Suddenly she wasn’t “just someone that he used to know.” He didn’t need to classify her in that cold, distant way. She was Emma, a woman in his past that served an important purpose for him then. She just wasn’t someone that would continue to be in his life forever. And slowly, Luke began to realize that this was okay.
Releasing someone doesn’t mean pretending the pain didn’t happen. It means giving that pain to God rather than replaying it like a song you can’t get out of your head. When you cling to what’s not yours, you’ll feel pulled into places you don’t want to go. You have to let go of someone if you want to keep the good God gave you through that season rather than letting it all be stolen through bitterness and resentment.
4. God Let Them Become “Just Someone You Used to Know” Because Letting Go Is Often Required Before You Can Receive Something New
“Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it?” – Isaiah 43:19
For a while, Luke let his sadness define him. He was “the guy who lost Emma.” But God gently corrected him: “You are not defined by who left—you’re defined by your relationship with me. And I, the Lord, never leave.”
That truth began to take root.
Luke picked up his guitar again. He volunteered at church more often. He spent time with older, wiser married couples and began to envision what healthy love might look like.
Then one evening, while walking out of a service, he heard someone behind him say, “Hey, you’re Luke, right? I’ve seen you lead worship—thank you for how you love God.”
Her name was Julia. Her voice was kind, her spirit was gentle, and her walk with the Lord was unmistakable. And from that place of wholeness in Luke, something new began to grow with Julia.
5. God Let Them Become “Just Someone You Used to Know” Because Life Is a Journey
“Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead…” – Philippians 3:13
Emma will always be someone Luke used to know. But that doesn’t mean she is someone he needs back. Luke learned to move on, and so can you.
When someone becomes just someone that you used to know, it can feel like a part of you disappears. But with Christ, loss is never the end of the story. He takes the fragments of what’s broken and writes a better melody than we could ever compose on our own.
So if you’re still grieving a goodbye, hear this: Your value isn’t in who left. Your healing isn’t in going back. And your future is not on pause.
God is still writing your story. Let him turn the page.
Moving on doesn’t mean deleting every memory or pretending they never mattered. It means choosing not to live there anymore. God has new mercies today—not just yesterday.
Lamentations 3:22-24, “The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. ‘The Lord is my portion,’ says my soul, ‘therefore I will hope in him.’”
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