1 Corinthians 7:36
Here are 5 things that God will often show you when he wants you to enter into a season of dating. And by a season of dating, I’m not necessarily talking about a specific person that God wants you to date but rather you being open to dating and taking proactive steps to get into a relationship when opportunities present themselves.
1. When You Have a Foundational Knowledge of What a Biblical Relationship Looks Like, This Is a Good Sign God Could Want You to Start Dating
Whenever God puts us through a season of preparation, he will always use his word as the primary source of our edification. Before we can be ready for anything, we first need to know what the Bible says about this particular topic. Likewise, when God is telling you that you are ready to date, he will have already showed you what a biblical relationship will look like.
As I’ve talked about at length in another video, there are at least 3 biblical qualities every healthy relationship must have to thrive. First, a couple must both be Christians (2 Corinthians 6:14, 1 Corinthians 7:39), they will show their genuine faith in Jesus through exhibiting the fruits of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-24), and they will be prepared to fulfill the biblical roles of a husband and wife (Ephesians 5:22-33).
For more information on these 3 biblical qualities that are needed before you start dating someone and definitely before you marry someone, you can read my article The Qualities of a Godly Spouse.
2. When God Wants You to Start Dating, You Won’t Be Perfect But You Will Be Prepared to Date in a Biblical Way
Point 1 was more about the head knowledge, but we also need the inner maturity to live these biblical principles in our lives. Many people, however, get frozen in a prolonged season of singleness because they are actually going beyond what the Bible says. While the Bible certainly has many standards we must meet as Christians to properly handle the blessings God gives us, nowhere are we told that to pursue marriage we must first be perfect in every way.
As Psalm 103:13-14 states, “As a father shows compassion to his children, so the Lord shows compassion to those who fear him. For he knows our frame; he remembers that we are dust.” God knows are limitations and he does not expect us to be perfect. However, in kindness God does prepare us for the callings he puts on us. So Rather than perfection, you should look for preparedness as a sign God does want you to start dating.
3. When You Have a Growing Desire to Glorify God in Marriage One Day, This Could Be a Sign God Wants You to Start Dating Sooner Rather than Later
It’s perfectly normal and healthy to go through seasons in life where you really have no desire to be in a relationship. But don’t be surprised if that starts to change at some point. Don’t feel like you need to lock yourself into a life of singleness because at one point in life you felt like this was God’s call on you.
If you have a growing desire to glorify God in a relationship, this could be a sign God is changing the plan that you thought he had for your relationship future. As Paul said in 1 Corinthians 7:36, “. . . let him do as he wishes: let them marry—it is no sin.”
The overall plan is the same – to glorify God. But perhaps you thought you would do that through singleness but now, through your growing desire for a relationship, God may be telling you he wants you to glorify him through marriage and not a life of singleness.
4. If God Has Highlighted a Specific Person that Also Seems Ready to Date, This Could Be Confirmation that God Is Telling You to Go for It
Sometimes God will let you know he wants you to start dating when he brings a specific person into your life that changes your views about relationships.
Perhaps you always felt like you would be better off single. Or perhaps you had a negative view of the opposite sex because of something painful that happened in the past. Or perhaps you just embraced the idea of always being single because you felt there would never be someone who would like you.
But then, much to your surprise, someone comes into your life and turns all these ideas upside down. If God is highlighting a specific person who you want to date and who seems like they also want to be with you, this could be a sign God is saying it’s time to start dating.
For more information about knowing whether or not God wants you to date someone, you may want to read my book called The One: How to Know and Trust God’s Sovereign Plan for Your Future Marriage.
5. If You Intentionally Stopped Trying to Date Other People Because You Felt You Needed Healing After a Previous Breakup or After a Painful Relationship Experience, God Will Tell You to Start Dating Again If a Healthy Season of Healing Has Passed
When life throws you off the proverbial horse and you hit the ground, you will need a season of healing before you are ready to get back on again. But as the old saying goes, when you get bucked off you have to get back on that horse or else you will live in fear the rest of your life.
The same is true in relationships. You should take a break from dating if you got hurt from a breakup or a painful relationship experience. But eventually, after a healthy season of healing with the Lord has passed (Psalm 147:3), God will tell you it’s time to start dating again.
Certainly it’s possible God may be calling some of you to a life of singleness, but for most of you that is not the case. So to receive the blessing of a godly relationship one day, you have to get back on the horse and start dating again or else you will always be single.
For more information on how to know when it’s time to start dating again after a breakup, you can read my article How Long Should You Wait Before Dating Again After a Breakup?