The connection that God has made possible between a man and a woman is truly special and important. Marriage was created by God and he uses it to show the world the love he has for his church according to Ephesians 5:22-33.
Therefore, we should never diminish the biblical desire Christian singles have who desire to married. People are not doing something wrong if they think, pray, and act in ways that will help them pursue marriage one day.
However, all good things certainly can be twisted and taken too far. And the same is true when it comes to Christian relationships. Being in a relationship is not the most important thing in the world. It is important, it is good, and it is glorifying to God when done God’s way.
But here are 5 things that are actually more important than being in a Christian relationship.
Your Personal Relationship with God
There is nothing more important for humans than our personal relationship with God himself. You can often figure out what is most important by looking at what you enemies attack the most. When Satan came against Adam and Eve, what he wanted to damage the most was their connection with God.
In 2 Corinthians 4:4 it says, “The god of this age [Satan] has blinded the minds of unbelievers, so that they cannot see the light of the gospel that displays the glory of Christ, who is the image of God.” Satan’s primary goal is not to keep you single although he may try to do this too because marriage does glorify God. His primary goal is to keep you away from Christ. We can see that our relationship with Jesus is the most important part of our lives which is why our enemy primarily attacks us there.
Never allow a human relationship to be valued more than your relationship with God. That’s exactly what Satan wants you to do.
One of the ways Christian can give love is through marriage. But marriage is not the only way to love people. The point to emphasize here is that loving people is actually more important than being in a relationship. You can be a single Christian person who never gets married and still live an extremely biblical and glorifying life for God if you love people.
However, you cannot refuse to love people in general and be considered a Christian who is glorifying God. A Christian relationship or marriage is one place to express God’s love to other people, but it is not the only place to do this. Loving people is what matters most. For as 1 John 4:19-21 says:
“We love because he first loved us. Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or sister is a liar. For whoever does not love their brother and sister, whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen. And he has given us this command: Anyone who loves God must also love their brother and sister.”
Using Your Gifts to Advance the Kingdom
Another way to figure out what is most important is by deciding which one you would choose if you could only choose one. Ideally a Christian marriage is supposed to enhance your ability to use your gifts to advance the Kingdom of God.
However, if for some reason you had to choose between getting married and using your gifts to advance the Kingdom of God, as Christians we would need to choose using our gifts. When you read 1 Corinthians 7 and you really study what Paul is saying about singleness and marriage, the point he makes is not that one is better than the other. Rather, each of us should choose singleness or marriage based upon which choice will empower us to serve God better.
Some people are better off married and some people are actually more effective for God in singleness. For as 1 Corinthians 7:7 says, “But each of you has your own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that.” The point is to choose whatever helps you serve God better. Serving God is more important than remaining single and serving God is more important than getting married.
Marriage and singleness are both biblical options for Christians. Using your gifts for God’s glory, however, is not an option. It is a command, for as 1 Peter 4:10-11 says:
“Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms. If anyone speaks, they should do so as one who speaks the very words of God. If anyone serves, they should do so with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever. Amen.”
Contentment in Christ
Another guiding truth that runs throughout the pages of Scripture is that God desires all Christians to be content in Christ. This is one of the reasons God does not always give us exactly what we want during our times on earth. Certainly there are many reasons we will never know why God sovereignly decides to give and take away certain blessings in our lives.
However, one obvious reason that God does not feel obligated to give us everything we ask for on earth is because he knows our contentment in Christ is more important than everything on earth we do or don’t have. While a relationship certainly can bring you a lot of healthy, biblical joy, contentment in Christ is more important.
You can be miserable in a relationship and you can be the most content person in the world as a single person. What matters most is that your heart is at rest in your Lord and Savior Jesus Christ at all times.
The Glory of God
Lastly, whenever we talk about what is most important, our conversation cannot be complete without mentioning the glory of God. When you look at the totality of Scripture, it become abundantly clear that the most important thing is the glory of God. Everything God does or does not do is ultimately all for the glory of God.
Likewise, singleness or marriage are really not the point. Glorifying God is the point. God has made marriage to glorify himself, however, if for some reason you had to choose between a relationship and glorifying God, the choice would be abundantly obvious.
The glory of God is truly the most important thing in all of existence.
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