4 Benefits to Approaching Your Crush First

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Ephesians 5:15-16

This article is for both Christian single men and women. While in most Christian circles it is expected that the man do most of the initiating, which is something I agree with, I also believe that single Christian women can do more than just wait to be approached by the man that they like.

I think the way a Christian man or woman initiates interactions or expresses interest will usually be different, but these 4 benefits to approaching your crush first rather than waiting for that person to act first apply to both men and women.

For more specific information on how a man can pursue a woman and how woman can be inviting towards a man, I have other articles for that.  

When You Approach You Crush First, You Will Gain Peace of Mind Because You Will Know You at Least Tried Something and You Won’t Have to Wonder If You Missed Your Opportunity

Ephesians 5:15-16 says, “Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise,making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil.”

Certainly this verse applies to much more important things like sharing the gospel, serving people in need, and advancing the kingdom of God. However, approaching your crush is not insignificant especially if you are someone who wants to glorify God in marriage one day.

So one of the benefits of initiating an interaction with your crush, whether in person or through some sort of digital method, is that you will know you did not let time just pass you bye. When you do something proactive you gain the peace that comes from knowing you did what you could and the rest was what our of your hands.

When You Approach Your Crush First, You Will Have Less Anxious Thoughts Based in Fiction Rather than Reasonable Thoughts Based in Reality

One of the worst parts about having a crush on someone is that you have no idea how they feel about you. Because of this lack of knowledge, your brain will start filling in the blanks and often in overly positive ways or in overly negative ways.

You could start feeling like this person is looking at you and this means they love you. Or you could start feeling like this person is intentionally avoiding you because they know you like them and they hate you. In reality, these things are impossible to know unless you actually gain real evidence based in reality.

So one benefit of actually interacting with your crush first is that you will gain real evidence on how they probably feel about you. For example, if a guy goes up to a woman he is interested in and talks to her and maybe invites to her to an even he is going to, and she accepts his invitation and seems very engaged in the conversation, this is reasonable evidence that he is interested in him too.

Now, rather than just having anxious thoughts about what could or could not be happening, you have real life experiences to assess the connection by.

When You Approach Your Crush First, You Are Opening the Door for Them to Then Respond to You

If you need your crush to immediately like you just as much as you like them, then you might be disappointed. While it certainly happens when two people notice each other from afar and have mutual interest in one another, oftentimes it is more common for one person to have feelings first and then for the other person to gain those feelings later on in the journey.

So one benefit of approaching your crush first is that you are giving this person more reasons to have mutual feelings for you. Every human likes being liked. While this can certainly be abused by players and people with bad intentions, this truth does not need to be used sinfully.

If you give someone a signal that you might be interested in them by approaching them first, it is very possible that they will like you in return when previously they had not noticed you in that way. This can be especially helpful for guys. Most men are more visually wired than women, so it is more common for a man to like a woman without knowing her as much. But most women will not lead with their eyes. They will want some sort of emotional connection before liking a man.

So when a man approaches a woman and talks to her or expresses interest in her, it’s often at that point when her feelings are awakened for him. Certainly this is not a rule for all women and this experience can be true of men as well, but this is a generality that I have seen to often be true.

You Will Get the Answers You Are Asking God for the More You Interact with This Person

As Christians, what we want most of all is to just know what God wants us to do. If he wants us to be with this person, we want to know. And if he does not want us with someone, we just want to know that too. And so when Christians have a crush, they often spend a lot of time trying to figure out what God is saying about this relationship possibility.

This is very good and should be done. Pray about it. Consult the word of God. Look for signs God is sending. However, at many points in life, God will not give you answers about the future. Rather, he will give you answers about the present.

So one benefit of interacting with your crush first is that when you make a move, it will cause the other person to respond to you in one way or the other. Through this person’s response, this is how God will often let you know what to do next.

If this person seems like a godly Christian and they responded positively, more than likely this means God wants you to proceed. However, if you interact with this person and it does not go that well, usually this is God showing you that this relationship is not meant to be.

So again, one of the main benefits of interacting with your crush is that God will often use these interactions to give you the answers you have been asking him for so you can follow his will for this relationship opportunity.