Genesis 24:14
When you meet the one God has for you, it will be different than any other relationship you’ve experienced. So here are 5 of those major differences God will use to lead you to your future spouse.
And on a quick side note, I wanted to let you know I just opened enrollment for AGW University. This will be the last time I’ll be opening enrollment for this year.
AGW University is where I offer in-depth biblical training for Christian singles who want to prepare well for their future marriage. The whole experience is multi-layered. The bulk of the biblical content comes in the form of 4 courses, which consists of 33 different video lessons. Each video on average is between 20 and 30 minutes and all the content is in writing too. You get lifetime access to these courses so you can always come back to it whenever you want, even years later. Because you get lifetime access, I’ve even had students who were single when they enrolled, but then got into a relationship, so they then went through these courses with their boyfriend or girlfriend. The courses are self-paced too so you can go through them on your own schedule.
I also offer 3 months of one-on-one email coaching with me as free bonus for anyone who enrolls before the deadline. This is where you can share your personal story with me, ask me specific questions that are unique to you, and where you and I can come up with a biblical but very practical plan on how to follow God’s will for your life.
Lastly, you also get lifetime access to the private Facebook group which is for AGW University students only. There are over 560 members in this group thus far. This group is not required, it’s just a place to connect with other students for those who want to. There are Christian single men and women of all ages in this group, encouraging and helping one another in the area of relationships.
There’s a lot more I haven’t even mentioned yet, so for the sake of time I encourage you to click here for a full breakdown of all that is included. You can check out all the course content before enrolling.
1. When You Meet The One, It Will Be Different Because It Will Be Both Biblical and Emotional Rather Than Just One or the Other
There are basically two main requirements in the Bible that need to be met before God will release you into marriage. First, the relationship must be biblical. If there is something about this relationship that contradicts what the word of God says, then it’s a “no go.” But just because a relationship is biblical does not mean this is the one God has for you. There are many Christians living a biblical lifestyle, but obviously you are not called to marry just any of these people.
The second biblical requirement for marriage is a personal desire for marriage. Marriage is a biblical option for those who want it and not a biblical requirement for all Christians. You can see this principle throughout 1 Corinthians 7. This general principle should then be applied to our individual questions about certain people too. If marriage is a biblical option for those who want it, this means God would never command you to marry someone you did not want to marry.
Many times in your life, you will have one of these two requirements met with someone. You will meet people where it would be biblically okay to marry them but emotionally you don’t want to. At other times, you may meet someone you emotionally connect with but there is a biblical problem that is making it clear this is not God’s will for you.
But it will be different when you meet the one. It will be biblical and emotionally satisfying to you.
2. When You Meet The One, It Will Be Different Because You Will Be Attracted to Their Spirituality, Personality, and Physical Appearance
Let’s go back to point 1 and focus on the second biblical requirement, which is a personal desire to marry this person. What factors form a healthy emotional desire to marry someone? For those in the world, this usually gets deduced to just a physical attraction with some desirable personality traits. But for Christians, this emotional desire to marry someone will focus on at least three things: the spiritual, their personality, and their physical appearance.
When talking about a spiritual connection, it’s important to note that while the Bible gives us the skeleton for a healthy walk with God, there is a lot of room left for personal expression. All Christians are required to obey the Bible. But the way we express our obedience will be unique.
For example, when it comes to spiritual gifts, two people can have the same gift but express it very differently. If you are an encourager, you may also be an extrovert who likes to use words of affirmation. Another person could be an encourager, but they may be more introverted and encourage other people through writing poetry.
Or take your devotional times for another example. Some of you will love to listen to worship music during your prayer time. But others of you love the silence. Some of you will be more theologically reformed while others of you will lean more on the charismatic side. My point is, spiritually, people can both be biblical but also express themselves very differently.
I’m not saying that you will know you met the one when you meet someone just like you. Sometimes two people express themselves very differently spiritually but they are still attracted to each other. My point is that since there are so many different ways to express the same biblical lifestyle, you will naturally have spiritual preferences that you enjoy more in a partner. When you meet the one, you will be attracted to their spiritual expression of a biblical life.
The other two factors to attraction are bit more obvious. Of course you should enjoy this person’s personality. Personality is different than their spirituality because this is the part of that person that you can see outwardly, but it is also different than just their outer physical appearance. Things like are they talkative, a good listener, funny, serious, sarcastic, introverted, extroverted, and so on are examples of personality qualities to consider.
Lastly, when it comes to physical appearance, this is where many Christians really get hung up. How much should a Christian value physical attraction? I do think there is some room for personal opinion here. For some people, physical attraction will be a more important variable than it is to others. I would say it’s a good rule of thumb to avoid the extremes here. It should not be the main factor nor should it be a non-factor. You should be physically attracted to the person you marry but there are levels to this. I would say of the important variables, physical attraction is the least important. Again, it’s important, it should just not be more important than your spiritual attraction and your attraction to their personality.
As Proverbs 5:18-19 states, “Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth, a lovely deer, a graceful doe. Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight; be intoxicated always in her love.” But then as Proverbs 31:30 also says, “Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” As you can see, when it comes to physical attraction in the Bible, there is balance.
3. When You Meet The One, It Will Be Different Because the Relationship Will Be Desirable and Achievable
There will be relationships in some of your lives that do not work out due to outside circumstances that are out of your control. For example, perhaps you were dating someone from another country, but then they had to go back to their country and you never really got the time to connect even though you saw a lot of potential in that relationship. Or perhaps you and another Christian have a great connection, but you also sense two very different callings on your life. Perhaps one of you wants to do full-time missions and the other wants to stay in their own country and raise a family as a faithful member to a local church. Both are great callings, but they will not mesh well tother.
My point is, when you meet the one, you will not only want to marry this person, the circumstances will also allow for it. This was one of the signs God used to lead Isaac and Rebekah together. When you read Genesis 24, you will see that in God’s sovereignty he arranged the circumstances to work out in just the right way to make it clear they were to get married. In Genesis 24:14 the servant prayed, “Let the young woman to whom I shall say, ‘Please let down your jar that I may drink,’ and who shall say, ‘Drink, and I will water your camels’—let her be the one whom you have appointed for your servant Isaac. By this I shall know that you have shown steadfast love to my master.”
Notice it says that God “appointed” Rebekah to be Isaac’s wife. They knew she was “the one” for Isaac because there was both a desire to be married (Genesis 24:58) and the circumstances allowed for it.
4. When God Shows You The One, It Will Be Different Because It Will Be Mutual and Long-Lasting
Sometimes you will have feelings for someone for a really long time. Maybe you’ve had a friend that you have secretly liked but you sense the feelings are not mutual. Or perhaps the roles are reversed and you sense a good friend has liked you a long time but you don’t like them. Or perhaps a relationship ended years ago but you still have feelings for your ex.
These are not signs you have met the one because when you meet the one, your relationship will be marked by mutual interest and long-lasting interest. It’s really common for one Christian single person to like another Christian single person. It’s less common but it still happens regularly when there is mutual interest from two Christian singles. The rarest thing to occur is when two Christian singles have mutual interest and the desire to be together lasts.
When this mutual desire lasts and is not going away even after a healthy season of dating, this is usually a sign God is leading this couple to progress into marriage (Mark 10:9).
5. When God Shows You The One, It Will Be Different Because the Relationship Will Be Both Hard and Easy in Healthy Ways
The reasons I tagged on that little line “in healthy ways” at the end of this point is because a relationship can be hard in bad ways and a relationship can be easy in bad ways too.
If a relationship is just hard because you two fight all the time and tear each other down, that’s more likely a sign that you should break up. On the flipside, healthy relationships have hard times too, but these hard times cause the couple to grow stronger rather than weaker. God uses the challenges (James 1:2-4) in the relationship to actually bring this man and woman closer together rather than further apart. If the relationship is hard in this healthy way, then that is a good sign this is the one.
On the other hand, when you meet the one, it should be easy too. Of course there will be fights sometimes, hurt feelings, and issues to work through. But when you meet the one that God wants you to marry one day, it will be easy to be around them. You will naturally connect and just “fit” together. This is not to be confused with a shallow “easy” type of relationship. Some relationships are easy because they are shallow and just remain on the surface. Some people just stay together because it’s fun or they just like to party together. That is not the healthy “easy” I’m talking about.
So you will know you met the one when you experience that different type of relationship that is both hard and easy at the same time in healthy ways.
And again, if your someone who has been enjoying this content for a while and want to go even deeper with me, feel free to click here to learn more about my relationship training courses and private email coaching. The email coaching is a free bonus for anyone who enrolls before the deadline of Novembers 22nd, but spots are limited for the coaching because it takes so much of my time, so don’t delay too long if you really want this free bonus. Click here to learn more.
