5 Ways to Pick a Great Dad for Your Future Kids!

If you are a Christian single woman who wants to get married and have a family one day, you obviously want to marry a man who will be a great dad to your future children. But how can you make sure you do this when you are dating and assessing a man for marriage?

You certainly can’t see the future. A guy may check every biblical box but then change later in life and be a terrible father. However, in most cases, there are warning signs present that would indicate if a man will be a bad father. Likewise, there are green lights you can usually see too that can generally predict if a man will be a good father one day.

Therefore, here are 5 signs that a man would be a great dad if you two got married and had a family together.

1. He Will Probably Be a Great Dad If He Has a Desire to Be a Great Dad One Day

Don’t ever think you can change a man. Don’t think you just need to marry a guy and then you can work your charm to make him into the guy you want him to be. Rather, you must look for a man who also wants to be the man you want him to be.

This is true when it comes to your desire to marry a man who would be a loving father to your children together. The first thing you want to look for in a man to see if he will be a great father or not is if he has a strong desire to be a great a father or not. If he doesn’t want kids, if he wants kids but also expects you to do everything as the mom, or if he is just apathetic about being a great dad one day rather than excited, these are not great signs.

Of course it’s not unhealthy if a man knows he doesn’t want kids right this instant. But he does need to want kids one day and he does need to want to be a great dad. When he reads Psalm 127:3-5, he should be able to agree with it wholeheartedly:

“Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one’s youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them!”

2. To Be a Great Dad, He Must Appreciate the Differences Between Women and Men

Unfortunately, it’s not always possible to grow up in the home of a loving mom and dad. God can certainly make up the difference when divorce or death or dysfunction causes a child to miss out on the blessing an intact family unit can provide.

However, this was God’s original intention for children before sin and death entered the picture. Thus, as Christians, we should do our best to give this to our children when possible.

God made kids to need a mom and dad. And for this blessing to be fully experienced, the mom and dad need to be acting like a mom and dad, not like a mom and mom or a dad and a dad. Each family unit is different. Each parent is more or less compassionate and firm. But generally speaking, the father needs to be projecting masculinity and the mother needs to be projecting femininity.

So much more needs to be said here, but that’s best left to a different article. The main point here is that a man needs to fully appreciate the different roles a father and mother are meant to play if he hopes to be a great dad one day (Genesis 1:27).

3. If He Already Has a Regular Devotional Time for Himself, This Is a Good Sign He Could Be a Great Father One Day

To be a great dad, he doesn’t need to be a better Bible teacher than the mom. He doesn’t need to be more spiritually mature than her. However, he does need to lead his family by providing them with the environment and structure to receive spiritual training.

Thus, when you are assessing a man before marriage to see if he can lead in this way, the most important thing you must look at is how he’s managing himself. If he isn’t reading the Bible, praying, and attending a Christian fellowship, how will he be able to lead others in doing these things?

Ephesians 6:4, “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.”

4. Kindness Is a Good Sign a Man Would Be a Great Father One Day

There’s a big difference between a “nice guy” and a “kind man.” As I’m using the phrases, a nice guy is someone who wants to be liked at all costs and thus caters to the demands of others regardless of the rightness or wrongness involved. A kind man, however, tries to do what is best for himself and others in a respectful way even if others will get mad at him. He’s going to try to keep peace and love people, but he’s also going to take a stand and not get pushed around.

Kindness is needed to be a great father. If he’s “nice,” he’ll just get manipulated by his kids because he will be worried about being disliked by them. But if he is harsh, he will make the kids do the right thing but he will create bitterness in the children. A kind father will know how to discipline his children in a way that makes them feel loved in the end rather than angry (Hebrews 12:6-11). He will be firm but fair.

Colossians 3:21, “Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.”

5. A Man Who Is Not Controlled By His Feelings and Is Willing to Do Hard Things Will Usually Be a Great Dad

A dad will want to say yes to his children. It will pain him to say no sometimes. Sometimes he will be tired and want to say no even though they need a yes. But when he knows his kids need a no rather than a yes or a yes rather than a no, he will give them what they need. A man can’t do this if he is simply controlled by his feelings all the time.

Thus, make sure the man you marry knows how to hold his tongue when he’s feeling emotional. Make sure he knows how to go to work even when he doesn’t feel like it. And make sure he knows how to make decisions with his mind rather than just his current emotional state.

1 Corinthians 16:13, “Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong.”