What are Christian single men over 30 looking for in a woman?
While these six things are a bit universal for all Christian singles of any age looking for a godly spouse, I’ll be highlighting these traits because Christian men in their 30s are especially looking for these qualities in women. Their life experience will cause them to emphasize the importance of finding a woman like this.
1. A Christian Man Over 30 Is Looking for a Woman Who Has Not Conformed to the Culture Around Her
As a man transitions out of his 20s and into his 30s (and beyond), he becomes more and more aware of how common it is for people to be Christian in name only. Thus, the older a man gets, the more disillusioned he becomes with the idea that it’s wrong to judge people who claim to be Christians.
A godly man knows he must use biblical judgment to rightly assess if he can be equally yoked with a woman. As Paul said in 1 Corinthians 5:12, “For what have I to do with judging outsiders? Is it not those inside the church whom you are to judge?” A mature, godly man isn’t going to randomly judge people who don’t claim to be Christian, but he is also not going to pretend that a woman is godly who is clearly in love with this world.
When a man is younger, he might say something like, “Oh, it’s no big deal if a woman loves secular music, dresses a bit immodestly, or has liberal beliefs about gay marriage. As long as she loves Christ, that’s all that really matters.” But after some life experience, a Christian man will realize that when someone truly loves Jesus, they reject the world. He knows compromising with worldliness only leads to problems.
Romans 12:2 states, “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.” Thus, a godly man over 30 will probably have had enough experience to know that he can’t pair with a woman who has conformed to the culture around her.
2. A Christian Man Over 30 Is Looking for a Woman Who Is Free from Past Relationship Baggage
A godly man will understand the need for grace, both for himself and his future wife; so he will not be looking for a perfect woman who’s never been through anything painful before. However, after a man has had a few experiences with women who are bringing relationship baggage into the relationship with him, he will be extra careful to avoid this in the future.
When a man is younger, he’s less aware of this requirement. But as a man matures and starts running into more and more women who have been really hurt in the past, he begins to realize the need for a woman who’s dealt with her baggage.
And please note the point I’m making. I’m not saying your past will make you undesirable to a godly man. We all have had baggage. My point is that a godly man doesn’t want to pay for the baggage another man gave a woman. He’s looking for a woman who has dealt with her baggage. He’s not expecting her to have never had baggage. If you are projecting past relationship wounds, a godly man will stay away from you.
1 Peter 5:7 (NIV) doesn’t tell us to cast all our anxieties on one another. Instead, it states, “Cast all your anxiety on [the Lord] because he cares for you.” While a godly man will certainly want to help the woman he loves, he will also know he can’t solve her internal issues created by other men. If you have baggage, give it to the Lord. Don’t look for a man to heal you. Only Jesus can do that.
3. A Christian Man Over 30 Is Looking for a Woman Who Values Her Feminine Role in the Family More Than Her Career
A lot of Christian men in their 20s want to have children one day, but it feels so far away, they often place less of an emphasis on finding a woman who has really embraced her role in the family. These men are usually more willing to date a woman who is very career driven.
However, as a man enters his 30s and beyond, he starts to realize more and more the value of a godly woman who has a desire to prioritize her roles as a wife and mother above all her other roles.
Notice how the Proverbs 31 woman is honored for the way she has loved her family. Proverbs 31:28 states, “Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her . . .”
4. A Christian Man Over 30 Is Looking for a Woman Who Wants to Be Led
When a man is walking with the Lord and he is older than 30, he almost always wants to get married and have a family. Why? Because a man starts to realize that to be useful and make an impact for the kingdom of God, he has to start taking on the responsibility of caring for others. A man without responsibilities starts to feel useless, like he’s wasting his life. Thus, a godly man wants to sacrifice and provide for others.
While all that is true, a man also knows that to experience the joy of sacrificially leading his wife and children, he first needs to find a woman who wants to be led. He doesn’t want to be a slave to an entitled woman who demands provision. Rather, he wants to be with a woman who respects him and actually wants to follow him (Ephesians 5:33).
5. A Christian Man Over 30 Is Looking for a Woman Who Doesn’t Send Mixed Signals When Pursued
As a man matures, he has less patience for mixed signals. He will seek to be clear with his intentions, and in return, he will want a woman who is also clear about her intentions. He will know it’s his job to pursue, but he will also want to be rewarded by her excitement and happiness when he pursues.
If she plays hard to get, a man over 30 will usually just lose interest and look for a woman who seems to like him too (Ruth 3:9-10).
6. A Christian Man Over 30 Is Looking for a Woman Who Has an Established Relationship with Jesus
I’m not saying that a godly man over 30 will never want to date a woman who is new in her faith. But he will not be willing to date a woman who is unstable in her faith.
She can be growing and learning, but she can’t be debating and struggling to commit her life to Christ. Above everything else, a mature, godly man will value a woman who fears the Lord.
As Proverbs 31:30 states, “Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.”
Related Article: Dating Advice for Middle-Aged Christian Singles
