Here are 4 biblical markers that mean a woman will be a curse to you rather than a blessing.
1. If She Thinks Equality Between Men and Women Means Sameness, She Will Be a Curse to You
As men of God, we must be at the forefront of making sure women are being treated fairly. Without good men protecting women, bad men will always abuse women. We must always celebrate the equally important roles women are called to play (Genesis 1:27, 1 Peter 3:7).
However, as men who follow God’s leading through the Scriptures and not the ever-changing culture, we must also never forget that men and women are not the same nor are they meant to fulfill the same roles in the family and the church. A husband and father are male roles and a wife and mother are female roles. These roles are not the same.
If you partner up with a woman who doesn’t understand that she is equally important as a man but is not designed to be the same as a man, you will be unable to have a healthy relationship with her. As 1 Timothy 2:11-15 says:
Let a woman learn quietly with all submissiveness. I do not permit a woman to teach or to exercise authority over a man; rather, she is to remain quiet. For Adam was formed first, then Eve; and Adam was not deceived, but the woman was deceived and became a transgressor. Yet she will be saved through childbearing—if they continue in faith and love and holiness, with self-control.”
Related Article: What Does “Women Will Be Saved Through Childbearing” (1 Timothy 2:15) Mean?
2. If You Only Like Her Because She’s Charming and Beautiful, She Will Be a Curse to You
Perhaps she’s the only woman you’ve ever met who is easy to talk to. Perhaps she laughs at all your jokes. Perhaps she knows how to make you feel manly. Perhaps she knows how to look at you at just the right moment to send a meaning only you two would understand. To you, she is charming. This is not wrong.
Perhaps you love the way she looks, the way she dresses, and the way she carriers herself as a woman. A woman’s outward beauty can be appreciated and desired by a man in a godly way.
However, if you only like her because of her charm and outward beauty, you are setting yourself up for a disastrous relationship. Without godly character and a devotion to the Lord, everything you like about this woman will fade away. Thus, you will end up with a woman you don’t like.
Proverbs 31:30, “Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.”
3. If She Has a Habit of Being Verbally Negative, She Will Be a Curse to You
As individuals, we all have unique sinful tendencies in our lives. However, it’s also true that men tend to have similar sin issues as many other men and women tend to have many similar sin issues as many other women.
Men, for example, tend to struggle with things like anger and being harsh. This is why Scripture specifically commands men to be gentle with their wives and to not embitter their children (Colossians 3:19-21, Ephesians 5:25-29, Ephesians 6:4).
Likewise, just as Scripture highlights certain sin areas that men tend to struggle with, it does the same for women. For example, women tend to struggle with using their words in harmful ways. This is why the Scriptures warn about this particular sin issue:
- 1 Timothy 3:11, “Their wives likewise must be dignified, not slanderers, but sober-minded, faithful in all things.”
- 1 Timothy 5:13-14, “Besides that, [younger widows] learn to be idlers, going about from house to house, and not only idlers, but also gossips and busybodies, saying what they should not. So I would have younger widows marry, bear children, manage their households, and give the adversary no occasion for slander.”
- Proverbs 21:19 (NLT), “It’s better to live alone in the desert than with a quarrelsome, complaining wife.”
Therefore, as a man who is looking to marry a woman who will be a blessing rather than a curse, make sure you pay attention to how she uses her words. We shouldn’t complain but everyone does at some point (Philippians 2:14). As imperfect people, no one always says the right thing. But you must look at her pattern.
Does she regularly complain and say negative things? Even if she is not complaining about you or saying negative things about you, just know that in time, she will. If she has not learned to control her tongue, her words will poison your relationship.
4. If She Doesn’t Believe in the Scripture’s Authority, She Will Be a Curse to You
You are sinful and your future wife will be sinful. You will struggle to treat her right when she mistreats you and she will struggle to treat you right when you mistreat her. Thus, you both must have a greater reason to love and respect (Ephesians 5:33) each other besides personal merit.
In other words, look for a woman who wants to respect you not only because she thinks your worthy of it but also because she knows this is what the Bible commands a wife to do. Just as you must love your wife even when she’s acting sinfully, your wife must still respect you even when you don’t deserve it.
If you two do not both submit to Scripture’s authority over your lives and you simply treat each other how you feel in the moment, in time, you will become a curse to each other. Ephesians 4:32, “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.”
