When you desire something very strongly, it can feel risky to actually hope for it. When it comes to marriage, sometimes people desire it so much that they are unable to admit it because they are afraid of being disappointed if it doesn’t happen one day. Ironically, they can become hopeless about the thing they hope God will give them one day.
According to Scripture, this is not what God wants. Throughout the Bible, we are told that God wants us to be hopeful about the things we desire from him. This applies to marriage as well.
Therefore, here are 4 biblical reasons God wants you to be hopeful about getting married.
- When You Are Hopeful for Marriage, You Are Rightly Validating that Your Desire for Marriage Is Good and that God Is Good
Many of you are uncomfortable with how I am talking about “being hopeful for marriage” because you know that we must ultimately put our hope in God, not in marriage. And this is absolutely true! We must put our hope in God and nothing else. Isaiah 40:31 (NIV), “those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.”
There is a difference, however, between putting your hope “in” something and hoping “for” something. We must only put our hope “in” God. But God does want us to hope “for” the good things he desires to give us.
This is the point of prayer. When we pray to God for something that we don’t have, we are hoping that he will grant it to us. If God didn’t want us to hope for the things he wants to give us, prayer would be pointless.
So God does not want you to put your hope in marriage. That is idolizing it and asking it to be your god. But God does want you to put your hope in him and to have the faith that he can bless you with a good thing like marriage.
Remember, God made marriage (Genesis 2:18) and he gives people the desire for this blessing (1 Corinthians 7:7). To hope he gives it to you one day is an expression of faith in God’s goodness.
- When You Are Hopeful for Marriage, You Are Stating that You Believe in the Power of God to Accomplish His Will for You
Throughout Scripture, there is a direct link between faith and answered prayer. Matthew 21:22, “And whatever you ask in prayer, you will receive, if you have faith.” Of course other parts of Scripture make it clear that God will only grant a request that is in alignment with his will (1 John 5:14), so our faith is not the only variable in the equation. But without faith, we will miss out on a lot of the good God wanted to give us (James 1:6-8).
Additionally, in the Bible, faith and hope are very closely related (Hebrews 11:1). Hope is faith that is future focused. Biblical hope is an eager expectation for something good that God alone can provide. Our primary hope must be in the gospel of Christ and in God’s love for us (Romans 5:5). We have been blessed and saved in Christ and the full work of redemption is yet to come when we are totally glorified in Christ (Romans 8:24-30).
The point is, when it comes to hoping for something good, like marriage, it’s essential to do so because it is an expression of faith; and faith is an important part of receiving the good things you hope God gives you one day.
When you are hopeless about marriage, you are saying you don’t believe God is able or willing to do this for you. And if that is your belief, that is the reality you are probably going to experience since your heart will be closed to God’s future invitations towards what he wants to give you.
- When You Are Hopeful for Marriage, You Will Be More Capable of Recognizing the Good Opportunities God Will Provide for You to Meet Someone
Even if you are doing wise things to meet someone, your attitude is going to be the most important variable.
Let’s say you go to an event because you know this is a wise decision if you want to meet other singles. But if your heart is saying, “You should go, but you know this isn’t going to work. You’ve tried this before. It’s probably going to be a waste of time again,” then that hopeless attitude will affect how you interact with people. And how you interact with people will affect what connections you make.
Yes, be wise, but don’t forget how your hopeful or hopeless attitude will affect your interactions. Romans 12:12, “Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.”
- When You Are Hopeful for Marriage, You Will Be More Attractive to Other Christian Singles
Put simply, hopeful people are attractive people. No one feels good after being around someone who is hopeless. They might feel bad for you. But you can’t be a ministry if you are looking for a marriage partner. Mature Christians are looking for other mature Christians so they can form a powerful team in marriage for the kingdom of God.
When you are hopeful about meeting someone, other people will feel your openness and be drawn to you. Notice how joy and hope are connected. Romans 15:13 states, “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.” Joy is attractive, and hope in God produces joy.
