Here are 5 signs that often appear when God is telling a man to pursue a specific woman.
1. God Is Probably Leading You to Pursue a Woman If It Would Be Biblical
Let’s start with the basics. If you’re a Christian and she’s a Christian (2 Corinthians 6:14), if you both are bearing fruit for God (John 15:5), and if you both are prepared to fulfill the biblical roles for a husband and wife (Ephesians 5:22-33), you both would meet the basic biblical standards to pursue marriage.
If the basics aren’t there for you or her, it’s best to stop thinking about her. Don’t get caught in all the “what ifs” like “what if she becomes a Christian” or “what if her feelings change and she starts to like me” or “what if I can change her theology to help her see the truth.” Look at reality, not what could be reality one day. What “could be” also might never be. Living solely out of your feelings is foolish. Wisdom looks at the facts and makes decisions based on that.
If the biblical basics aren’t present, don’t force it (2 Timothy 3:16-17).
2. God Is Probably Leading You to Pursue a Woman If There Are No Signs He’s Telling You Not to Pursue Her
Sometimes the biblical basics can be there but you may still sense the Holy Spirit telling you not to pursue that woman. It could be a bad match between your personalities, it could be the wrong timing, or God could just be calling you both in two different directions.
So start by seeing if there is a clear “no” from God. Many guys, however, want a clear “yes” very early in the process before they pursue the woman. That’s not necessary. While you should see if you feel there is a yes, you don’t need God to stamp his approval on everything you do through a miraculous sign if what you are doing is already biblical and good (James 1:25).
The bigger the decision, the more confirmation you should seek. If you want to propose to a woman, pray about that a lot and get as much confirmation as you can to make sure that’s a good choice. However, if you just want to go on one date with a Christian single woman that you think highly of, a lack of a “no” from God is enough confirmation to proceed forward.
3. God Is Probably Leading You to Pursue a Woman If You Want to Know How She Feels About You
Many guys get stuck in a prayer loop because they are asking God to reveal the woman’s feelings to him before he risks getting rejected. In most cases, however, God will lead you to risk getting rejected as the means of learning how she feels about you.
One reason God does this is because he respects us. He didn’t make us so he could do everything for us. He wants us to live our lives for his glory (1 Corinthians 10:31). While his Spirit should fill us, God does not want to possess us. He wants his power to flow through our personhood.
Another reason God isn’t going to tell you how this woman feels about you is because true love requires risk. You need to risk rejection if you want this woman to feel loved by you. When you risk and express your feelings, this will lead your future wife to respect you, which is exactly what you want.
So if you really want to know how a woman feels about you, then you should pursue her and see what happens.
4. God Is Probably Leading You to Pursue a Woman If She’s the Right Type of Woman and It’s the Right Time in Your Life to Be Married
Two things need to be true if God is actually leading you to pursue a woman. First, you and her need to be the right types of people for each other. The Bible says there are basically two types of people. There are those who love sin and then there are those who love the Lord (Ephesians 2:1-4).
Second, you need to be in a season of life where you are prepared to progress into marriage if you and a woman start connecting that deeply. If you are not prepared to be a husband, then you should not be connecting with a woman and wasting her time. Only date when you are prepared to get married.
Sometimes you will meet a godly woman but you will also know you’re not ready to be what she needs. Don’t pursue her. If you are in the right season of life and you meet a woman you are interested in, God will probably lead you to go for it to see what happens.
5. God Is Probably Leading You to Pursue a Woman If You Want to Pursue Her
If you haven’t gotten past the other 4 points in this article, this point does not apply to you. However, while we want to be biblical and wise, we mustn’t forget that God made relationships to include desires.
In other words, if you want to pursue a woman and it’s biblical, you should do it. Stop thinking God is against romance. You need to pursue a relationship in a healthy, wise way; but don’t think God is against this desire. He’s the one who gave this desire to you for a woman and thus he wants you to act on this desire when the time is right (Proverbs 18:22).
Related Article: How to Pursue a Woman
