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For a few women, they will meet their future husband and instantly know this is the man God has called them to marry. For the vast majority of women, however, this not what is going to happen.
A hard relationship is not necessarily the wrong relationship. Confusion is not always a sign God is saying no. And while the man is the pursuer, this does not mean you will get to sit there and do nothing while your future husband does all the hard parts of making this relationship come into existence.