Is God keeping you single because of your past sin? This is an easy question to answer when we take it literally at face value. However, when people ask this question, there are often other deeper questions behind it that are actually being asked.
So here are 4 answers to the question, “Is God keeping me single because of my past sins?”
1. No, God Does Not Keep Us Single Because of Our Past Sins
The simple answer is that no, God does not keep you singe because of your past sins. The Bible says that when we repent of sin and confess it to God, we are forgiven completely and are no longer guilty before God (1 John 1:9, Acts 2:28, Ephesians 1:7). If God was to punish you by keeping you single as a way to pay for your past sins, this would go against the truth that we are saved by grace alone through Jesus Christ. There is nothing we can do to pay for our past sins.
Secondly, in the Bible singleness is not viewed as a punishment. According to 1 Corinthians 7:7, singleness is actually a gift that God blesses those with whom he has not called to marriage.
Lastly, there is a difference between punishment, discipline, and consequences. I explain how these three responses to sin can help us answer this question about sin and singleness in the article, “Is God punishing me with singleness?”
2. God Will Keep You Single if You Are Not Currently Mature Enough to Handle a Biblical Relationship
Point 1 is the short answer, but here we need to dive a little deeper to fully understand what the Bible says regarding receiving blessings from God like relationships.
While God would not withhold a blessing from you as way to punish you for your past sins, God will also not bless you with something that you are not currently mature enough to handle correctly. Sin is ultimately a symptom of how disconnected we are from Christ. The more we remain in Christ, the less sin we will produce in our lives. The further we drift in our relationship with Christ, the more sin we will produce in our lives.
Therefore, while God will not keep you single because of your past sins, your sins do reveal how mature you are in Christ. If you have not grown from your past sins, God could be keeping you single as a way of sparing you from repeating those sins again.
And just to clarify, this does not mean that everyone who is married is more mature than everyone who is single. For more on the connection between obeying God and being blessed with a relationship, you can refer to the article, “Are You Single Because You Don’t Love God Enough?”
3. Your Past Sins Might Be Keeping You Single if the Shame from These Sins Is Controlling You
While God will not keep you single because of your past sins, it is possible for your past sins to negatively impact your relationships in the present. One of the primary ways your past sins could be keeping you single is if you are being controlled by the shame stemming from your former mistakes.
Shame can keep you single in a variety of ways. It can keep you from dating other mature Christians because you will feel unworthy. It can cause you to date low caliber people because you might believe these are the only types of people who would accept you. And it can keep you acting cursed if you believe you are cursed because of the past.
If you want to prevent your past from controlling your future, you have to fully embrace the forgiveness God grants through the gospel. You have to fully embrace the truth that God’s grace is greater than your sin. None of us deserve anything good in our lives, but through the grace of Jesus Christ God makes us worthy because he places Jesus’ righteousness on us when we receive it through faith. As 2 Corinthians 2:21 states, “For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.”
4. Your Past Sins Might Be the Reason for Your Current Singleness Because, in Many Ways, We Do Reap What We Sow
Lastly, we do have to recognize that in many respects we do reap what we sow as the word of God says (Galatians 6:7-8, 2 Corinthians 9:6, Proverbs 22:8).
God loves us eternally. God’s grace saves us from every sin when we receive it through faith in Jesus. God forgives us completely. But while the eternal punishment for our sins is removed, the earthly effects of our sins often remain. For example, if I was to vandalize someone’s property but then confess my sins to this person and this person forgave me, my sin would be forgiven but the effects of my sin would still remain. The property would still be destroyed. The forgiveness does not always undo our choices.
Likewise, there are certain effects that our sins can have. For example, if you are in a relationship with someone you want to marry, but then you do something that severely breaks this person’s trust in you, it is possible that your sins will hinder you from a blessing you could have had in the future. God can forgive you of this sin, this person can forgive you of this sin, but oftentimes the effects of our sin still remain which can lead to a prolonged season of unwanted singleness.
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