The term “falling in love” can be dangerous for Christians for a variety of reasons.
One of the main Greek words in the New Testament used to teach us about love is “agape.” This word emphasizes action and choosing to sacrifice yourself for someone else. For a deeper explanation of this word, I would encourage you to watch this video by The Bible Project.
But the reason I wanted to highlight “agape love” is because the term “falling in love” does not really capture the essence of Christian love according to the Bible. Nonetheless, I don’t want to be legalistic about this phrase because I know what people mean when they say it and I don’t think it is wrong to say as long as we know what true love is according to the Bible.
Therefore, when I use this phrase, “falling in love” in this video, all I mean is that two people are forming a bond that is leading to a Christian marriage covenant. So here are 4 things that might happen when you are truly falling in love and preparing in your heart to love someone for the rest of your life on earth.
1. God Will Empower You to Move Past Infatuation and Towards Real Commitment When You Truly Begin to Love Someone
Before you can truly love someone, you have to overcome the false forms of love that try to infect human relationships. Perhaps one of the most common counterfeits to true love is infatuation. For a quick explanation of how to know if you are infatuated or truly loving someone, let’s reviews a short clip (1:06-2:28) from a video I’ve done in the past on this topic:
So when you are truly falling in love with someone, you will not be motivated by infatuation or idolatry but you will choose the type of agape love that Christ has shown you.
2. When You Are Truly Falling in Love, You Will Find More Joy in Serving This Person Than in Being Served By This Person
Whenever we want to know something about true love, the first place we have to look is to God. How does God show his true love for us? God didn’t just tell us that he loves us. God showed his love for us in action, for as John 3:16 famously says, “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.”
Because God loves us he “gave” his only Son. This is what true love is all about. Likewise, when Jesus was teaching us how we are to truly love him, he said in John 14:15, “If you love me, you will keep my commandments.” The point I’m making is that true love is about joyfully serving the other person.
When you truly begin to find more joy in giving to someone rather than taking from them, this is when you are truly beginning to love him or her.
3. When You Are Truly Falling in Love, You Will Lose Your Desire to Be in a Relationship with Anyone Else
While there are many characters in the Old Testament who practiced polygamy, nowhere in the Bible is this practice condoned. In fact, throughout Scripture God clearly tells us that marriage is supposed to be a covenant of love between one man and one woman as Genesis 2:24, Titus 1:6, 1 Timothy 3:2, Matthew 19:4-6, and Deuteronomy 17:17 explain.
Therefore, when someone’s heart is headed towards marriage with someone, they will lose the desire to be with anyone else. They won’t have a desire to keep looking to see if they can get someone better. When you are truly falling in love, you will know you just want to be with this one person and no one else.
4. When You Are Falling in Love with Someone, You Will Fight Through Any Issues that Are Trying to Separate the Two of You
When two people are truly in love, we might imagine them to always get along and never have any issues. But this is simply untrue. No matter how much two people love each other, there will always be some issues in their relationship that they will need to work through because every human besides Jesus has a sin nature.
So the mark of true love will not be a lack of issues. The mark of true love will be a willingness to fight through any issue that comes up. A couple who is truly falling in love will work hard on their relationship and they will not run away from one another as soon as things get hard. When a man and woman really love one another, they will not allow anything to keep them apart.