1 Corinthians 6:13, 20
Why is sex before marriage bad? What consequences are there for premarital sex? And what rewards are there for practicing abstinence during singleness?
In this article I will provide 12 reasons you should not have sex before marriage. While this list should serve as a warning, it should not be used as a death sentence for those who already have had premarital sex.
While sin is extremely damaging, God’s grace is always greater (Romans 5:20). So if you have fallen to sexual sin before marriage, do not despair. Confess your sins to God, repent, seek the grace purchased through the sacrifice of Jesus Christ, and ask God to sanctify you from sin.
With that said, here are 12 reasons not to have sex before marriage.
- Sex Before Marriage Is Not Glorifying to God, and a Life of Glorify God Is the Best Life You Can Live
While many people see God’s laws as religious restrictions that lead to a boring life, nothing could be further from the truth. All of God’s laws are not just ways to avoid bad things. God’s laws are ultimately pointing us towards the best thing.
At the heart of everything we are told to do in the Bible is the command to glorify God. God gave us this purpose because he deserves all the glory but also because a life of glorifying God is the best life any human can ever experience.
Since premarital sex does not glorify God, when you commit this sin you are choosing not to experience your best life.
The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body. . . So glorify God in your body.” (1 Corinthians 6:13, 20)
- Because Sin Always Sacrifices Your Long-Term Joy for Short-Term Pleasure
Contrary to what many Christians say, sin does actually produce pleasure in people’s lives. It is a sinful, fleeting pleasure, however, which is why God has warned us against it.
The same is true with sexual sins like premarital sex. You should avoid this sin because it will sacrifice your long-term joy for a quick pleasure that will take rather than give when all is said and done. Proverbs 20:17 explains, “Bread gained by deceit is sweet to a man, but afterward his mouth will be full of gravel.”
Premarital sin is just like this. It’s sweet at first but will rob you later.
- Sex Before Marriage Decreases Your Chances of Getting Married at All
Premarital sex is also unhelpful in singleness if you want to be married because it leads to long periods of dating without committing. When a couple acts like they are married when they are not, they naturally have less motivation to actually get married.
In addition to this, premarital sex introduces sin into your relationship which, over time, will tear two people apart rather than together. When you choose to worship each other rather than God, you eventually will become unsatisfied with each other because no human will be able to replace the hole inside of you because of God’s absence in your life. The more you run from God and towards a person, the more likely this relationship will fail.
- Sex Before Marriage Will Create Problems in Marriage
If you have sex with multiple people before marriage this will negatively affect you when you are committed to one person. Christ can solve these problems. But it will take a lot of hard work that could be avoided if you do not have premarital sex.
Even if you marry the person you have premarital sex with, this will create issues for your sexual experiences in marriage. Great sex in marriage is rooted in real love for your spouse. If you have premarital sex often times your spouse will wonder if you just want him or her for the sex. This is especially true from the wife’s perspective. If they have premarital sex, a wife might wonder, “Would my husband have continued to date me if I did not give him sex?”
If your spouse doubts your love, this will not result in a healthy marriage.
- Sex Before Marriage Can Cause You to Stay In Bad Relationships
Sex outside of marriage is dangerous because it is meant to bond a husband and wife together. When a boyfriend and girlfriend have sex, it creates bonds that should not be there. When God is telling you to breakup, you will struggle to do this because of your premarital sexual sin.
Through the gospel God can break these bonds but dating is much easier when sex is not involved. A dating couple should never stay together for sexual reasons. When you don’t have sex it is much easier to breakup when God is clearly telling you this is not the person he has for you.
- Sex Before Marriage Can Contribute to You Marrying Someone Who Is Not Following the Lord and Does Not Ever Intend to Obey God
For the reasons mentioned in the previous point, premarital sex often increases bonds with people that you should be bonded with. Christ can break these bonds and remake you if you call out to him, but many people who engage in sexual sin together end up getting married when neither of them have developed the Christian character needed for marriage.
Sadly, one spouse often repents and seeks the Lord while their spouse does not. Because of the premarital sex you can easily marry someone who does not love God and does not plan on following God. Whenever you sin and ignore God there are always consequences
- Sex Before Marriage Will Rob You of the Joy that Should Be Present When You Are Dating God’s Way
Christian dating, while stressful and confusing, should also be fun, joyful, and guilt free. When you meet the one God has for you, your season of dating should be a blessing to you. When you engage in premarital sex, you will infect this season with guilt and shame.
Christ can redeem. You can still have a healthy marriage together if you repent of your sin. But if you practice abstinence you will have less stress caused by sin and you will be able to enjoy this season of dating as you are meant to do.
- Sex Before Marriage Will Pull You Away from Your Christian Community
When a Christian single person starts dating and having sex, one of the first things that will happen next is that they will begin to avoid their old friends and Christian community.
When people feel guilty about their hidden sin but they are not actively repenting, they will avoid people who are walking with God because they will feel convicted by their obedience.
- Sex Before Marriage Is Unloving to the Person You Are in a Relationship With
Not only does premarital sex hurt your heart, it is also damaging to the person you hare having sex with. If you truly love your boyfriend or girlfriend, you will not have sex with them. You will get married and commit your life to him or her. If you are not prepared to do that, you don’t really love this person to the level that would allow you to have sex together.
Express your love through the covenant of marriage and then enjoy the love between each other with sex.
- Sex Before Marriage Will Train You to Put Yourself Before Others Which Will Hurt You Later in Life, Especially in Marriage
One terrible consequence of submitting to sexual sin is that it trains you to be selfish. Marriage is about serving your spouse. Sexual sin is about serving yourself. The two do not mix.
“He who commits adultery lacks sense; he who does it destroys himself.” (Proverbs 6:32)
- Sex Before Marriage Sets a Foundation for Sexual Sin in Marriage
Sex before marriage should be avoided in singleness because it will sabotage your sex in marriage. When you give into sexual temptation in singleness, this will lead to premarital sex. But in marriage it is not a sin to have sex with your spouse.
Satan will not tempt you to have sex with your spouse because that is not a temptation. Now Satan will tempt you to experience sexual things away from your spouse. Whether it be masturbation, porn, or even an affair, if you choose premarital sex in singleness you will most likely choose other forms of sexual sin in marriage.
- Sex Before Marriage Is Not God’s Best for You
In summary, you should avoid having premarital sex because this is not God’s best for you. If you want God’s best, you must obey God’s word. You will have to make short-term sacrifices if you want to experience the long-term benefits of following God.
Do not be deceived: God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that will he also reap. For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life.” (Galatians 6:7-8)