According to the Bible, what should you do when you feel like you are falling in love? Here are 3 biblical things you should do when you think you are falling in love with someone.
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1. Don’t Say Anything About Your Feelings Until You Confirm What God Is Leading You to Do
Proverbs 19:2-3 are extremely helpful Bible verses to apply when you think you are falling in love with someone. It states, “Desire without knowledge is not good, and whoever makes haste with his feet misses his way. When a man’s folly brings his way to ruin, his heart rages against the Lord.”
I can’t tell you how many times someone has told me they are mad at God because they fell in love with someone but the relationship did not go as planned. They say things like, “Why would God let me fall in love with someone who did not love me back?” or “Why didn’t God stop me from falling in love if he knew this would bring so much pain into my life?” Or they say, “I think I scared this person off because I came on too strong.”
Romantic love is different than the general Christian love God tells us all to have for one another. Christian love can be safely given to someone who doesn’t return love, it can be given to people who don’t like you, and it can be given to people who you don’t particularly enjoy either. But romantic love, which is biblical too but different than general Christian love, is much different.
Sometimes it feels like love but then it quickly fades because it was just infatuation. Sometimes you love someone but they are not prepared to love you back in a healthy way. And sometimes you and this person will be in love with each other but it’s just not the right time at this moment.
All that to say, before you act on your feelings right away, the biblical thing to do is to slow down and make sure you are getting God’s confirmation about all this. What is he leading you to do or not do? What biblical evidence is there that this person and you would be a healthy couple?
Don’t be like the person mentioned in Proverbs 19:2-3 who rushes ahead and then blames God when they hurt themselves.
2. Show Your Feelings with Your Actions and Gauge If the Love Is Mutual
It’s natural to want to verbalize how you feel. But all too often, people lead with their words instead of their actions. This is especially dangerous when you are beginning to feel like you might be falling in love with someone.
One advantage of leading with your actions in romance is that you can then better gauge how this person is feeling too rather than bringing them to a point of decision that will inevitably bring dramatic changes immediately, one way or the other.
For example, if you are good friends with someone from the opposite sex or maybe you just started going on dates with this person and things are going really well, when you say “I love you” or “I think I’m falling in love with you,” this forces the person to decide right there and then if they should keep this relationship going with you or not. If they love you too, your relationship just jumped a few steps ahead and has become much more serious. And if they don’t love you like you love them, they will leave you. But if they had more time, they may have grown to love you like you love them. As Song of Solomon 8:4 (NIV) famously states, “Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.”
Certainly there does come a time to verbalize your strong feelings, but it’s better to show your love in actions first because this gives the person times to think and respond in a more thoughtful and patient way. But when you verbalize it all, it’s like you’re saying the time is up and they need to make a choice right now about you.
3. When the Time Is Right, Use Your Words and Increase Your Commitment
Personally, I believe the words “I love you” should only be said when followed by the question, “Will you marry me?” Obviously this relates more to the men because traditionally they are the ones leading in this area. But even if you are a woman who wants to tell her boyfriend that she loves him, I would say you should be prepared to marry that man if you decide to verbalize your love for him.
Why? Because biblically romantic love must always be accompanied by commitment (Matthew 19:6, 1 Corinthians 13:8). The highest forms of romance are reserved only for marriage because only in marriage is the highest form of commitment offered (Hebrews 13:4-5).
Even if you disagree with me about only saying “I love you” once you are prepared to get married, I would still encourage you to at least see that a love that is not accompanied by a strong commitment is not really true love.
So when you believe you are falling in love with someone, wait to say those three little words until the relationship is far enough along to where it would be appropriate to also offer a much greater commitment too.
Do you want more biblical information about dating in a holy way with the hopes of honoring God in marriage one day? If so, I encourage you to visit AGW University. You can learn more about these Bible-based relationship training courses by clicking here before the September 1st deadline.