Here are 3 false signs that God will not use when he is revealing who he wants you to marry.
And as a quick reminder, if you are someone who wants to do a deep study on what the Bible actually says about relationships, I wanted to let you know there are only two more days to enroll in AGW University. Enrollment spots for these biblical relationship training courses and the email coaching with me are limited, so feel free to click here if you would like to learn more about this incredible opportunity which will end on 3/3/2020 at 11:59pm (EST).
1. A “Good Past” Is Not a Sign God Will Use to Reveal “The One” to You
A less-sinful past is not a sign of maturity in the present. Some people have not done many bad things in their past not because they are mature and are really walking with Christ but simply because they have not yet had any real opportunities to do so yet.
God does not view each human with a sinless slate at birth that slowly gets more and more messed up as they make mistakes later in life. In essence, the Bible does not teach that we are all sinful because we have sinned; rather the Bible teaches us that we all sin because we are all born sinful. “Original sin” is an important doctrine that teaches us that we have all inherited a sinful nature because our first parents, Adam and Eve, sinned and thus passed the seed of sin along from generation to generation. For as Romans 5:18-19 teaches us:
Therefore, as one trespass led to condemnation for all men, so one act of righteousness leads to justification and life for all men. For as by the one man’s [Adam’s] disobedience the many were made sinners, so by the one man’s [Jesus Christ] obedience the many will be made righteous.”
Therefore, someone who has not sinned as much in their past still has the same sin nature that we all have. The only solution is to receive the new nature through faith in Jesus Christ. So whether you have not committed many huge sins in your past or you have committed lots of huge sins in your past, what you did or did not do is not the solution to the sin nature inside of you. The only way any of us will live a biblical life for Christ, regardless of what sins we’ve committed in the past, is to walk in the Spirit now.
So when it comes to looking for a godly spouse, signs of maturity in the present overrule failures in the past, and a lack of failures in the past should not overrule signs of immaturity in the present.
2. Perfect Compatibility Is Not a Sign God Will Use to Reveal “The One” to You
Perhaps one of the most shocking parts about marriage is how many disagreements a couple constantly has. Healthy marriages do not have less disagreements than unhealthy marriages. Rather, healthy marriages have learned to better deal with the disagreements whenever they arise.
We all want to avoid conflict, but the wrong solution to avoiding conflict is to look for someone who thinks, acts, and believes everything the exact same way as you do. As Christians we certainly are called to be equally yoked as 2 Corinthians 6:14 states. However, this term “equally yoked” refers to both people being a Christian; it does not refer to having the exact same opinion about everything.
So just because you and this other person might see eye to eye on almost everything, don’t be fooled into thinking this automatically means this is the one God wants you to marry. Compatibility on less important things is certainly not a bad thing. But it is absolutely impossible for two individuals to always agree about everything all the time. So when God does lead you to the one, he will not lead you to a person who is made in the reflection of you. Rather, he will lead you to another Christian who he is forming into the image of Jesus as Romans 8:29 explains.
3. Overpowering Attraction Is Not a Sign God Will Use to Reveal “The One” to You
I believe God does want you to be attracted to the person that you marry. This will look different for every couple, but I do not believe we should all expect to have an overpowering attraction when we first meet the person God wants us to marry. In fact, when you really read the Bible, overpowering attraction would more likely be a sign you are being led into sin rather than being led into a godly relationship. In the ESV, Proverbs 7:21-23 warns us about the dangers of lust. It states:
With much seductive speech she persuades him; with her smooth talk she compels him. All at once he follows her, as an ox goes to the slaughter, or as a stag is caught fast till an arrow pierces its liver; as a bird rushes into a snare; he does not know that it will cost him his life.”
A different translation states Provers 7:22 as, “He follows her impulsively like an ox going to the slaughter . . . .” Animalistic passion should not be the goal. While sex is glorifying to God when it expresses love in marriage, God will not lead you to the one he has for you by simply leading you to the one you are most sexually attracted to. So it’s certainly not wrong to be attracted to the one God does have for you; this is a good thing. But don’t be fooled into thinking this is the most important quality to a godly relationship.
If you are a Christian single person and you want to dive even deeper into what the Bible actually says about relationships, then AGW University was created for you. These courses are a step up from the level of information I am able to provide on YouTube and this website. By enrolling in AGW University, this also gives me the opportunity to invest in you personally through email coaching. Here’s what two of my current students said:
I just wanted to let you know that I have been growing a lot the past few months through your AGW program and email coaching and am excited about how God will continue to grow me in relationships/preparing for marriage! I just wanted to say thank you for your support and investment in your AGW students!” – Yolanda
I just want to say how much this course has been a true blessing to me as I was able to finish it just about two weeks ago. Many of the classes have taught me about the idols in my life as I wanted to pursue a godly marriage one day. I have confessed those sins that I did not fully understand until your course about idolatry. The courses Heart Check and Marriage Material have really changed me.” -Joshua
The opportunity to enroll is going to pass by in just a few days on Tuesday, March 3rd at 11:59pm (EST). If you are interested and you want to check out all the course topics before enrolling, you can click here to learn more.
