If you’ve ever been hurt by someone, you know how important it is to guard your heart. But how will you know if you are guarding your heart enough or not enough?
Here are 3 common signs God will use to help you guard your heart more.
And if you have been reading these articles for awhile and you want even more in-depth relationship teachings from me, you may want to learn more about AGW University. This is where I provide courses, email coaching, and a community of other students for those of you who want to use your singleness wisely as you prepare for your future marriage. For the scholarship and for more information, click here.
1. If a Relationship (or Thinking About Someone) Is Ruining Your Peace in Christ, This Is a Sign God Is Telling You to Guard Your Heart More
Proverbs 4:23 (NIV) says, “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” It’s easy to miss the point of this verse in at least two ways. If you don’t guard your heart enough, it will get hurt and life will not flow from it. If you guard your heart too much, you will wall it off from others and then life cannot flow from it there either. So how can you know if you are guarding your heart too much or not enough?
One key to answering this question is to look at your relationship with God. Ultimately we are to guard our hearts for the sake of our relationship with God. If anything is negatively impacting our walk with Christ, it means we are not properly guarding our hearts. We should let people into our hearts who are helping our walk with God and we should guard our hearts against people who are hurting our walk with God. Notice what Philippians 4:6-7 (NIV) says about guarding our hearts:
Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
If you are not praying, if you are not in God’s presence, and if something is making you anxious, this is a sign God is telling you to guard your heart more. When we are guarding our hearts properly through prayer and seeking God’s presence, this will be marked by a peace in Christ Jesus.
2. If a Relationship (or Thinking About Someone) Is Causing You to Act in Unstable and Odd Ways, This Is a Sign God Is Telling You to Guard Your Heart More
A change in behavior stems from a change in your heart. According to Scripture, everything we do and everything we say actually flows from our hearts (Luke 6:45). We can use this knowledge to diagnose when we need to guard our hearts more. For example:
- If you are normally a cheerful person but you are starting to get depressed because you are thinking so much about someone you can’t have, this depression is a sign you must guard your heart more.
- Or perhaps you used to be secure in your self-image but when a man you were seeing said he no longer wanted to date you, you then started to have body image issues. Your change in attitude towards yourself would be a sign you must guard your heart more towards men.
- Or perhaps you are a man and you used to have a well-balanced life, but since you started dating your girlfriend all you do is spend time with her and you are beginning to feel the negative effects of losing balance in other areas of your life. This negative lifestyle change would be a sign you need to guard your heart more.
Psalm 73:21-22 states, “When my soul was embittered, when I was pricked in heart, I was brutish and ignorant; I was like a beast toward you.” If you are normally stable and at peace but now you are acting in unstable and odd ways, this would be a sign you need to guard your heart more.
Pray as David did in Psalm 51:10-12, “Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me. Cast me not away from your presence, and take not your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation, and uphold me with a willing spirit.”
3. If You Are Asking Someone to Be the Strength of Your Heart, This Is a Sign God Is Telling You to Guard Your Heart More
Human relationships are supposed to be a blessing. But it’s so easy to ask too much of this good thing. You may want a human relationship, but you need a relationship with Christ. Only God can be the true source of your heart’s strength.
As Psalm 73:25-26 states, “Whom have I in heaven but you? And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.”
It’s good to want to be with someone. It’s good to have a healthy dependency on someone in a mature relationship. And eventually for true love to take place, you should open your heart to someone. But never ask someone to be the strength of your heart. Only God can be that person to you.
There is no Bible verse commanding us to trust other people. We should choose to trust people as an act of love. But only God deserves our trust. The Bible only commands us to fully trust God in our hearts.
As Proverbs 3:5-6 famously states, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.”
For more information about how to prepare your heart for a health relationship, feel free to click here to learn more about AGW University, the email coaching with me, and the scholarship opportunity. The deadline to enroll in February 27th at 11:59pm.
