Sometimes we equate another person’s choices as God’s will for us. But just because someone pursues you or expresses interest in you does not mean this is definitely the will of God for you to be with this person.
When someone from your past comes back into your life, God may lead you to give them another chance. However, in many cases, God will want you to say “no” even though they came back to you.
Here are 3 signs God is saying, “If they come back, reject them.”
1. If They Left You to Go Live in Sin But Now They Are Hurt and Want to Come Back for the Security You Offer Them, God Is Probably Telling You to Reject Them
Jesus’ parable of the prodigal son (Luke 15:11-32) is very amazing and such a beautiful picture of the gospel. When we run from God and then come to our senses in repentance, he is always eager and willing to forgive us through the atoning work of Jesus Christ.
However, this type of message does not apply in the same way when it comes to romantic relationships. Romantic relationships, before marriage takes place, are completely optional in the Bible. As Christians, we are called to always forgive and reconcile when possible. But to reconcile after a former boyfriend or girlfriend mistreated you does not mean you need to accept them back. It means you can be at peace with them as a Christian but you are not required to give them a second chance romantically or in friendship.
In fact, if someone left you to go “spread their wild oats” or to go live in sin, you should probably not take them back. Why? Because they showed themselves to be untrustworthy and they are likely to do the same thing again. You are not their savior. Jesus will never abandon them, but you should move on and let the reap the consequences of their choices.
You deserve better than that. You should not settle as someone’s backup plan.
2. If This Is Your Normal Cycle with This Person (Them Leaving and You Letting Them Back), God Is Probably Telling You to Reject Them Next Time They Come Back
Sometimes two people get into an unhealthy cycle of dating, breaking up, dating other people, and then getting back together once those other relationships don’t work out.
In rare instances it’s possible for a couple to break up and get back together and to then experience better results the second time around. But whenever you start getting into your third time around or fourth time around, it’s almost always a bad idea to try this relationship again because it will just end the same way it always ends. As Proverbs 26:11 bluntly states, “Like a dog that returns to his vomit is a fool who repeats his folly.”
Not only are you wasting time with someone who is just going to leave again, but you are also then wasting a lot of time because you are continually needing to heal after this person hurts you over and over again. Thus, you are never in a place to be in a healthy relationship with someone else.
If you want to be healthy, you have to reject the person causing you harm and stop allowing them into your life. As Proverbs 22:10 states, “Drive out a scoffer, and strife will go out, and quarreling and abuse will cease.”
3. If You Are a Different Person and You Don’t Want to Go Back to Being that Old Person, This Is a Sign God Wants You to Reject This Person If They Come Back to You
When we are living in sin ourselves, we are naturally drawn to people who are also living in sin and they are drawn to us. Likewise, when we are living in the light, we are then drawn to people who are also living in the light and they are drawn to us (Ephesians 2:1-5, 1 John 1:5-7).
When someone from your past comes back into your life, if they have not come to reject sin and live in the light, they are going to want you to return with them to your former ways of darkness (1 Corinthians 15:33). You have to reject them, for God’s word warns us, “For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness? (2 Corinthians 6:14). Ephesians 2:3-5 (NIV) explains:
All of us also lived among them at one time, gratifying the cravings of our flesh and following its desires and thoughts. Like the rest, we were by nature deserving of wrath. But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved.”