In the Bible, this phrase “a wolf in sheep’s clothing” is used to describe false teachers. Today, I will take these principles and specifically apply them to relationships.
So here are 3 signs someone is a wolf pretending to be a sheep when it comes to relationships so that they can use you.
1. Someone Is a Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing If They Pretend to Be a Grape Vine But Really They Are a Thornbush
You will know if someone is a wolf pretending to be a sheep by the affect their presence has on you.
When it comes to interacting with someone in relationships, we all have the ability to project and receive. If you are getting cut when you are receiving what this person is projecting, this is a red flag. Notice what Jesus said in Matthew 7:15-17, which states:
Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing but inwardly are ravenous wolves. You will recognize them by their fruits. Are grapes gathered from thornbushes, or figs from thistles? So, every healthy tree bears good fruit, but the diseased tree bears bad fruit.”
From a distance the untrained eye may confuse a grapevine with a thornbush or a fig tree with thistles. But as soon as you reached out your hand and touched these different plants, you would instantly be able to tell which is which. A grape is smooth to the touch. A thorn will make you bleed.
Likewise, when you are seeing someone from a distance (meaning that you don’t know this person that well yet), a wolf may be able to hide themselves with niceties and proper social etiquette. But when you get closer to someone and actually start interacting with them on an individual bases, you will be able to feel who they really are. Just as a grape and a thorn will feel very different to the touch, so too will a wolf feel different than a sheep when it comes to relationships.
When someone’s words, personality, and lifestyle intersect with you and the affect is hurtful and unhealthy, this is a sign you are dealing with a wolf in sheep’s clothing.
2. Someone Is a Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing If They Are Forever Seeking and Never Finding
One way Christians get sucked into bad relationships is by letting their guards down to someone who pretends to be genuinely interested in learning more about Christ.
Christians know they are not to be unequally yoked (2 Corinthians 6:14), but they allow themselves to get entangled with someone who acts like they are willing to become a Christian if they were just given more time to learn from someone. But in the process of using this as an excuse, through the time they get with you, they are not influenced to Christ. In fact, they are actually using that time with you to influence you away from Christ. Notice what 2 Timothy 3:5-7 state:
. . . having the appearance of godliness, but denying its power. Avoid such people. For among them are those who creep into households and capture weak women, burdened with sins and led astray by various passions, always learning and never able to arrive at a knowledge of the truth.”
Wolves are the type who portray themselves like sheep by acting like they really want to learn about Jesus. But you know they are lying because all they are really willing to do is to pretend to be open to Christ, but in fact they never arrive at a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ. Again, they are “always learning and never able to arrive at a knowledge of the truth.”
2 Timothy 3:13 goes on to say, “. . . while evil people and impostors will go on from bad to worse, deceiving and being deceived.” Wolves are all over the place when it comes to spiritual matters. The only thing that is consistent is their deceit and desire to use you in a worse and worse way the more you get to know them.
3. Someone Is a Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing If They Are Stained with the Blood of Their Prey
Sheep eat things like grass, hay, or other forms of vegetation. Wolves eat meat.
The same is true when it comes to wolves and relationships. They will try to pretend to be a nice, gentle lamb; but if you look close enough you will always see the blood stains from their former victims. Hunting is messy. You always get blood on your hands.
In Ezekiel 22 God is pronouncing judgment on the violence going on in Israel. The chapter begins in verses 1-2 with the lines, “And the word of the Lord came to me, saying, ‘And you, son of man, will you judge, will you judge the bloody city?’” In verse 27 it states, “Her princes in her midst are like wolves tearing the prey, shedding blood, destroying lives to get dishonest gain.”
A wolf can behave for a while after it is still full from it’s last kill; but when they start getting hungry again, they will start hunting again too. Don’t be fooled by the outer charades. If you look at someone’s life and you see a trail of relationship blood, this person is a predator.
Predators hunt for meat; they don’t forage for vegetation. If you see a predator but you don’t see any prey around, that means you are the prey.
For more information about how to spot a godly man or woman who the Lord is leading you to be in a relationship with, you may be interested in AGW University. Enrollment is actually closing tomorrow, so if you are interested in learning more about these biblical relationship training courses, the private email coaching with me, and the private online group where all the AGW University students are connecting with each other, feel free to click here to learn more.