Here are 4 possible reasons for why God is hiding your future spouse from you right now.
1. So He Will Be Glorified When He Gives You the Sight to See This Person
So often we assume a delay in getting our desires fulfilled is because we are doing something wrong. This occurs because we often see ourselves at the center of our own stories. We assume the good in our lives is because we deserve it and the bad in our lives is because we deserve it. But this is not always the case.
Our smaller stories are always connected to God’s bigger story. Sometimes God allows challenges and delays as a way of bringing himself more glory. Notice how this played out in John 9:1-3, which states:
As he passed by, he saw a man blind from birth. And his disciples asked him, ‘Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?’ Jesus answered, ‘It was not that this man sinned, or his parents, but that the works of God might be displayed in him.
Like us, the disciples assumed this bad thing in this man’s life was someone’s fault, either his own fault or his parents. But Jesus rejected this idea and told them this blindness was actually connected to God’s larger story that revolves around his glory.
Likewise, in relation to your blindness about your future spouse, it’s possible you are not doing anything wrong. It’s possible God has not given you eyes to see this person because he is preparing the stage in such a way where he will receive maximum glory once he does give you the eyes to see this person.
2. Through Your Relationship Blindness God Will Teach You to See
Sometimes the problem is actually the path to the solution. Sometimes the barriers are actually building blocks for the blessing. Sometimes God allows our lives to get messier so that we will become even cleaner. Notice how Jesus restored the sight of the blind man in John 9:4-7, which states:
‘We must work the works of him who sent me while it is day; night is coming, when no one can work. As long as I am in the world, I am the light of the world.’ Having said these things, he spit on the ground and made mud with the saliva. Then he anointed the man’s eyes with the mud and said to him, ‘Go, wash in the pool of Siloam’ (which means Sent). So he went and washed and came back seeing.”
I love that phrase, “he anointed the man’s eyes with mud.” We imagine God’s anointing to occur with pure water, with expensive oil, or with an elaborate ceremony. But sometimes God anoints us with mud made from spit. As Psalm 119:67 and 71 states, “Before I was afflicted I went astray, but now I keep your word . . . It is good for me that I was afflicted, that I might learn your statutes.”
When you can’t see your relationship future clearly, this will motivate you to seek God more. Through seeking God, through studying his word about relationships, and through being more diligent to follow the Spirit through this season of darkness, you are actually getting closer to the light ahead.
Without struggling in blindness, you may never be ready to meet your future spouse. God can use this season of affliction to prepare you for the good marriage he has for you in the future.
3. To Teach You to Trust Him and Not Follow Religious Formulas
It’s human nature to want a formula to follow because this makes us feel like we are in control. Notice how the Pharisees felt threatened when Jesus was disrupting their religious rules. In John 9:14-16, it states:
Now it was a Sabbath day when Jesus made the mud and opened his eyes. So the Pharisees again asked him how he had received his sight. And he said to them, ‘He put mud on my eyes, and I washed, and I see.’ Some of the Pharisees said, ‘This man is not from God, for he does not keep the Sabbath.’ But others said, ‘How can a man who is a sinner do such signs?’ And there was a division among them.”
Some people meet their future spouse in very predictable ways, and that’s fine. But for others, God takes them on twists and turns and the process is much messier than they thought it would be. We all think finding our future spouses should happen like a math equation: do A plus B and this should equal marriage. But God does not want us relying on religious formulas in our lives, including when it comes to relationships.
Above all your efforts to find the one, God wants you to have faith so you know this blessing is from him and not because you followed a formula.
4. To Enhance Your Relationship with Jesus
While Jesus certainly wanted to bless this blind man with sight, Jesus always has his eyes focused on the bigger story. More importantly than a physical healing was this man’s salvation. Jesus used the restoration of this man’s sight to help him see the spiritual truth about the gospel. In John 9:35-39 it states:
‘Jesus heard that they had cast him out, and having found him he said, ‘Do you believe in the Son of Man?’ He answered, ‘And who is he, sir, that I may believe in him?’ Jesus said to him, ‘You have seen him, and it is he who is speaking to you.’ He said, ‘Lord, I believe,’ and he worshiped him. Jesus said, ‘For judgment I came into this world, that those who do not see may see, and those who see may become blind.’”
Likewise, relationships are important to God, but like Jesus’ physical miracles for those in need, he is always using earthly things to point us to heavenly things. We don’t always know what will happen in the future, but we always know that God wants our relationship with Jesus to be strengthened.
God may be using this season of relationship blindness to increase your closeness with Jesus.