Here are 4 common reasons of why God might be allowing you to keep thinking about a certain person.
1. God Will Allow You to Keep Thinking About Someone Because He Has Given Us Authority Over Our Minds
The first thing to point out about our thoughts is that God has granted us control over what we think about and what we choose to not think about. So sometimes our thoughts don’t mean anything good or bad; rather they just mean that we are allowing ourselves to think about something.
Notice the commands we are given throughout the Bible about our thoughts, which prove that God expects us to control our thoughts. Colossians 3:2 states, “Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth.” Romans 13:14 (NIV) also says, “Rather, clothe yourselves with the Lord Jesus Christ, and do not think about how to gratify the desires of the flesh.”
So the first possible reason God is allowing you to think about someone is because God allows you to think about whatever you want. Your thoughts about this person might not mean anything other than that you are choosing to think about this person.
2. God Will Let You Think About Someone Because He Created Our Thoughts to Reflect What Is Going on in Our Hearts
While the fact that we have authority over our thoughts is the place to start, certainly that is not the end of this conversation of why God might be allowing you to think about someone. Another important biblical fact is that our minds are created by God to be directly connected to our hearts. In other words, what we are thinking about is a picture of what is going on inside of our hearts as well. As Jesus said in Matthew 15:19, “For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false witness, slander.”
So when you keep thinking about someone, this often means that something is going on in your heart in regards to this person. Rather than just ignoring your thoughts and trying to push them away, it’s often more helpful to ask yourself, “What is going on in my heart that is causing these thoughts about this person?” There are lots of possible answers to this question, but in point 3 and 4 of this article I will cover two of the most common answers for what may be happening in your heart that is causing you to think about someone so much.
3. God Will Allow You to Keep Thinking About This Person as a Sign You Need to Move on From This Person in Your Heart
When you believe that this person is the only cure to your unhappiness or loneliness, you will constantly think about him or her because our minds are meant to help us get what we need. When you are thirsty, your mind will start to create a plan on how to get water. If you are feeling sick, your mind will start to weigh through the options of what can be done, “Do I need rest? Do I need get some over the counter medicine? Or do I need to visit the doctor?” My point is, it’s natural for your mind to think about what you believe you need.
If you believe in your heart you need this specific person to be happy, your mind will then naturally think about this person. Compulsive thinking is often a sign of a compulsive worry manifesting out of a belief that you don’t have something that you need. Really, what we are referring to is idolatry.
What does it mean to idolize someone? Idolizing someone is when you have started to believe that this person is the only person that can make you happy. When you idolize someone, you are allowing them to take God’s seat in your heart as the primary source of your joy. It’s not wrong to like someone, to love someone, or to want to be with them. It is a sin, however, to forsake your joy in the Lord in hopes of finding your ultimate joy in this other person.
Notice what David prayed in Psalm 16:2, “I say to the Lord, ‘You are my Lord; I have no good apart from you.” You will always know who you are really worshiping by who you are seeking joy from. David’s profession that God truly is his Lord is matched by David’s belief that only God can provide him with the ultimate good his heart needs. If you believe something other than God is the source of the good you desire in life, this means you have an idol in your heart.
4. God Will Allow You to Keep Thinking About This Person as a Sign You Need to Pursue a Relationship with Him or Her
Going back to point 2, our minds reflect what is happening in our hearts. While it is one possibility that our thoughts about someone are revealing that we have idolized this person in our hearts, that’s certainly not the only possible explanation.
Thinking about someone can also be a sign that you really do have a healthy desire in your heart to be with this person in a more committed relationship. If you never think about someone then it is highly unlikely God wants you with that person. But when you do really like someone and you believe they are a mature Christian that you would like to date or marry one day, this should result in you thinking about this person more often.
So don’t just assume that your thoughts about this person are a sign that something bad is happening in your heart. Notice what happened when God made Eve for Adam. He clearly started thinking a lot about her because when he awoke from his sleep he made a poem for her. In Genesis 2:21-23 it reads:
So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. And the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man. Then the man said, ‘This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.’”
So if you find yourself thinking a lot about someone, this could be a sign you should pursue something more with this person if he or she has biblical qualities and you two are experiencing a growing connection with one another.