Here are 4 signs God is leading you to stop texting with someone or messaging with them online.
1. If You and This Person Are in a Bad Cycle of Randomly Texting/Messaging Each Other and Then Disappearing for Long Stretches of Time, This Is a Sign God Is Telling You to Stop Communicating with Them
One of the most common ways to get stuck in a prolonged season of unwanted singleness is to be connected in your heart to someone who you are not connecting with in real life. When two people do not see each other or communicate with one another, the natural thing to happen is for their connection to dwindle. This is good because if you stay connected to someone you don’t have a relationship with anymore, you are obviously going to have a hard time moving forward in life.
But when a man and woman get into a cycle of texting or messaging each other every few months, it’s kind of like picking a scab and preventing it from ever healing properly. What often happens is that two people get into a bad cycle of intensely connecting with one another for a few days, then stopping for a few months, and then starting back up, and then doing all this over again.
All you are accomplishing through a scenario like this is getting a quick emotional thrill but then paying the price for months. Once you are finally getting past your feelings for this person, the whole thing starts again. God doesn’t want this for you. This is not what he had in mind when he created godly romance between a man and woman.
In Genesis 2:24 it states, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” This is what God wants for a man and woman. Orbiting and draining each other’s emotional energy without any real commitment or growing an actual relationship together serves no positive purpose. If this is happening to you, God is leading you to end this vicious cycle.
2. If This Connection Is Clearly Just an “Online Relationship” Rather Than a Dating Relationship that Started Online, This Is a Sign God Is Telling You to Stop Communicating with Them
One of the principles I talk about in my new online dating course is the difference between “online Christian dating” and “dating someone online.” I believe trying to meet other Christians singles through online dating is a good approach if done properly for some Christians who desire marriage. But the goal is to make an initial connection with someone you met online and then actually meet each other when the time is right to form a real relationship together.
What often happens, however, is that a man and woman connect online but then stay in that phase of the relationship way too long. Online dating should result in a real relationship, not an “online relationship.” If you formed an initial connection with someone but the two of you are not actually going to meet each other anytime soon, usually God will lead you to end this so you do not waste emotional time and energy on a connection that will never transform into a real relationship.
Again, Genesis 2:24 applies here, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” You can’t become one flesh in marriage if you stay stuck just communicating through texts and messages.
3. If You Two Have Decided It Is Best Not to Have a Face-to-Face Relationship Anymore But You Still Message Each Other, This Is a Sign God Is Telling You to Stop Communicating with this Person
When two people have formed a real relationship with one another face-to-face, sometimes it just doesn’t work out and the couple decides to no longer see each other. This is healthy so that the two can move on into what God does have for them rather than wasting time in a relationship God does not want for them.
But one mistake that often occurs is that they stop meeting but they keep communicating online or through texting. You certainly don’t need to be enemies with someone you used to date or towards someone you had feelings for. But in my view it is usually best to put up healthy boundaries between you two so you can move on in your heart and mind as well.
The more serious the relationship was the bigger the boundaries need to be once you are no longer together. As Proverbs 4:23 states, “Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life.”
4. If Your Texting/Messaging with This Person Is Doing More Mental Harm Than Good, This Is a Sign God Wants You to Stop Communicating with Them
One of the best ways to know what God wants for you is to look at what affect this is having on you. Much like eating healthy food compared to eating unhealthy food, you will know what is good for you by how it affects your body when you eat it. Just because something taste good is not a sign you should keep eating it. If it causing you to gain unnecessary weight, if it is causing high cholesterol, or if it is causing you to have stomach issue, obviously this is something you should not eat.
Likewise, you will know what God does and does not want for you by its affect on you. If communicating with this person through texting or online messaging is doing nothing but causing mental anxiety and confusion, this is a sign God wants you to stop. As Philippians 4:8 states:
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.”
If God is leading you to stop communicating with someone, don’t just ghost them. Do the respectful thing and explain to them why you feel it is best for you to move on. If they keep texting you or messaging you after that, then you should just ignore them.
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