Here are 4 things you should do when you think you’ve met the one God wants you to marry one day.
1. Accept Your Feelings and Thoughts for What They Are Rather Than Elevating Them as Absolute Truths
There’s nothing wrong to think that you’ve finally met the one God has for you. Some people have these thoughts and feelings really early on, maybe even when they first met someone. Other people start to have these thoughts and feelings after they start dating this person and the relationship is getting more seriously. Either way, there’s nothing inherently sinful or wrong about having these types of thoughts.
However, I do believe people get themselves into a lot of trouble by elevating these thoughts and feelings to a place that they should not be. We have to accept that we are all merely human beings and as much as we might feel a certain way, there is no way for our thoughts and feelings to always be 100% correct like God is always correct.
In humility, when you believe you’ve met the one God has for you but you are still not married, you have to use wisdom and accept your feelings for what they are. It’s okay to feel this way, but you also have to rise above your feelings and accept that as humans are feelings and our thoughts are not always accurate.
2. As a Way of Guarding Your Heart Before Marriage, Stay Open to the Possibility that You Could Be Wrong About These Predictions that You Really Have Met The One
In addition to staying level headed about our own humanness and limited ability to know the future like God knows the future, we also have to take it a step further and accept that we very well could be wrong about this relationship as well.
One common experience that people often have is that they meet someone and they feel like God tells them that this person is their future spouse. I’ve heard of stories where this actually came true and they did get married one day, but I’ve heard far more stories about someone feeling this way but then these two people not ending up together.
When this occurs, people are often left wondering why God would tell them that this person was their future husband or wife but then the relationship never happened. What’s even worse, some people cling to what they hear for years and years still hoping it comes true someday. The wisest thing to do in situations like this is to accept that what you heard was not accurate.
The reason we can make this conclusion is because the Bible says in Deuteronomy 18:22 that whenever God truly says something, it will always happen just the way God said it would happen. If God really told you this person would be your future spouse, it would be impossible for you two not to end up together. Wisdom says that if there is no evidence in the real world that would match what you heard in your mind, the most likely reason for all this is that you misheard what God was actually saying.
So as a way of guarding your heart, like Proverbs 4:23 says to do, in your season of singleness you should always stay open to the possibility that what you feel God said could have been a mistake on your end. The only way to know for certain that you really heard God tell you this is your future spouse is if you two actually get married one day. If God does tell you this person is your future spouse, these words you feel God spoke to you will be confirmed in real life at the altar one day.
3. When You Think You’ve Met The One God Has for You, Allow the Circumstances to Confirm What You Feel Rather than Forcing the Circumstances to Be What You Want
As I said at the beginning of this article, I truly don’t believe there is anything wrong with feeling like someone might be your future spouse. It is very natural to like someone and imagine a future with another Christian single person who also seems to love God like you love God.
But having these feelings can lead you into trouble when you do not carefully handle these desires with Christian maturity. One way to move forward in maturity is to allow the circumstances in your life to confirm what you feel rather than trying to manipulate the circumstances because of what you feel.
For example, if you feel you met the one God has for you, but then you get to know this person more and you realize that they are actually not a Christian, they are living in sin, and you also have huge clashes in your personality styles that make it very hard to communicate with each other, it would be a mistake to keep forcing this relationship to work when all the external indicators are clearly pointing in the opposite direction.
When the Holy Spirit speaks to you personally, these words will never contradict what the Holy Spirit has said to everyone through his word. Since the Bible says things like to not be unequally yoked in 2 Corinthians 6:14 and to pursue God with other people who also want to live for Christ as 2 Timothy 2:22 states, to stay in a relationship that does not match these biblical commands would not be right.
So when you think you have met the person God has for you, allow the circumstances to confirm this rather than trying to make it work simply because of what you felt at one point in the past. It’s okay if your feelings change. You don’t have to stick to one path in a relationship you have with someone who is not your spouse. God will often show you a better way as time goes on.
4. When You Feel Like You’ve Met The One God Has for You, Still Go Through All the Normal and Wise Steps of the Christian Dating Process
In the Bible, there is not a one-size-fits-all approach to how marriages are to be formed. Some people practice a more conservative courting model while others use more modern dating principles. Whatever method you choose to use, you must not break any commands in the Bible and you should apply biblical wisdom as a way of figuring out if God does or does not want you two to get married one day.
It would be a mistake to meet someone and feel like you are going to marry this person and then rush past the normal and wise steps because of how you feel. Dating and getting to know someone is wise no matter how strongly you feel for him or her. You want other people in your life to confirm that this person is someone who is ready to be a godly husband or wife. You want to give the relationship time to develop. You want to get into a few conflicts to see how this person reacts.
In short, even if you really sense that this is the one God has for you, there are still things your relationship with this person will need to go through before you two actually get married. Even if you actually do get married to this person one day, your season of friendship, dating, and engagement will be a crucial part of the health of your marriage one day, so you really do not want to rush through these important seasons together.