5 Biblical Signs Someone Would Be Bad News If You Got Emotionally Involved with Them

Have you ever had a friend who just couldn’t see all the obvious flaws you clearly noticed in the person they were falling in love with? Or perhaps you can look back on some of your own relationship choices and say, “What was I thinking? Why couldn’t I see the warning signs?”

Sometimes we will miss the warning signs God is sending about someone when we are already emotionally involved. However, if we know what signs to look for before we fall into an emotional attachment, this can be used to help us stay sober-minded and avoid a devastating relationship mistake.

So in this article, we are going to study 5 sections of Scripture that will provide you with specific warning signs about someone who would be bad news for you if you got into a relationship with them.

Sign #1: A Double-Standard for Disrespect

One of best Scriptures that can help you spot a person like this is Luke 6:31, “Do to others as you would have them do to you.” Here are some examples of someone who is showing signs of having a double-standard when it comes to disrespect:

• They may belittle your opinions but then they might also be very sensitive if you respectfully disagree with their opinions.
• They may dismiss the desires you express about how you want to spend your time together while getting mad at you when you don’t show extreme enthusiasm about the ideas they have.
• They may interrupt you before you were able to finish a thought, or they may change the subject right when you were trying to make a point. However, they may also question if you were really listening to them when they were speaking.

The consequences of ignoring these repeated signs of disrespect is that you will end up with a very entitled person who can never take personal responsibility for their part in relationship issues. No one is perfect. It takes two people who are willing to grow in Christ and repent of sins together if you want a healthy relationship.

So if someone has a double-standard when it comes to respect, they will definitely be bad news for you if you get involved with them.

Sign #2: Verbal Expressions of Distrust Combined with Controlling Behavior

One biblical example of controlling people is in the book of Nehemiah. Sanballat and Tobiah couldn’t stand to watch Nehemiah and the Israelites rebuild the wall and serve God. Therefore, they verbally ridiculed them and did everything they could to prevent their work. Nehemiah and the people, however, ignored their threats and did what they knew the Lord was leading them to do. (Nehemiah 4, Nehemiah 6)

Likewise, remove the person who is trying to control you because they don’t trust you. A person like this is nothing but bad news. Here are some examples to help you spot this type of person:

• They may accuse you of wanting to leave them and talking to other people on the side. To prove your innocence, they may demand to see your phone so they can search your text messages.
• They may think your friends are trying to turn you against them. Therefore, they may tell you to prove your love for them by no longer speaking with your old friends.
• Someone may not like the positive things you do for your own well-being, like going to the gym, having alone time, and attending church. They are lazy and don’t want to take care of themselves, so to ease their own conscience they may complain every time you do these things so you will stop.

If you feel trapped by this person, if you feel like you’re losing your sense of self, or if you are beginning to lose your courage to speak up, these are signs you are dealing with a toxic person who is bad news for you.

Sign #3: Negative Past Relationship Patterns

A Scripture passage that speaks on this topic is Ephesians 4:25-32. This passage tells us to be angry without sin. It says to not let any corrupting talk come out of our mouths. It tells us to repent of bitterness and malice while we forgive others like God has forgiven us.

No one has a perfect past. Most people will have made some mistakes in relationships. However, as Christians, what we really need to do ourselves and see in others is a pattern of repentance and obedience. Likewise, the real danger you must watch out for is not just a bad behavior in the past but a pattern of bad behavior in the past. For example:

• Does this person have a long history of jumping from short-lived relationship to short-lived relationship?
• Does this person have a lot of stories that involve blaming many other people for the problems in their life?
• Does this person struggle to commit to anything, even small decisions, and they then blame you even though they are really just projecting past hurts?

This is one of the reasons it’s helpful to ask about someone’s past. See how they talk about others. Even when we have enemies or have been hurt, a mature person speaks the truth while also not slipping into resentment and retaliation. If someone can be respectful when talking about their past relationships and takes personal responsibility, that is a good sign.

Sign #4: Complicating Communication in Completely Unnecessary Ways

In James 3:3-6, we are warned about the importance of taming our tongues. This passage warns us that the tongue is one of the most powerful tools we own to produce chaos in our lives. It’s like a small rudder that has the power to direct the whole ship.

All couples will need to work on communication and give each other grace when, not if, they miscommunicate. However, there are some people who complicate communication in completely avoidable ways. For example:

• Perhaps you ask someone very specific questions, they don’t answer you, but then they get upset when you make a decision even though they never answered you.
• Perhaps someone takes days to respond to a simple text. You know they’ve seen your text because they always have their phone and your question was not complicated to answer. They always get back to you, but it’s obnoxiously delayed.
• Or maybe they are always contradictory. If you say left, they say right. If you say it’s good, they will say it’s bad. Whatever is said, they have a need to say the opposite.

Communication is hard enough even when a man and woman want to be kind and clear. This person is just bad news if they have a desire to needlessly complicate your communication.

Sign #5: A Lack of Personal Growth

When you read 2 Peter 1:5-8, you see that each of us should be putting in a lot of effort to grow in the Lord. It says to “make every effort to add to your faith . . .”

A lack of personal growth is bad news because it usually means this person will also be content to just coast with you; overtime, you two will then just drift a part.