When I’m using the phrase “she’s playing you” in this article, I’m referring to a woman who is using you in a selfish way without you realizing it.
Unfortunately, this world is full of women who will try to play men (just as there will always be men who will try to play women). So if you want to date in order to find a wife one day, it’s not possible to avoid these women completely. They will pretend to be someone they are not, and it takes time to see the truth. Thus, the key to not getting played by a woman is not to avoid all women but rather to see what she’s doing before the damage is done.
With that in mind, here are 5 principles from the Scriptures that can help you avoid getting played by a woman.
1. To Avoid Getting Played, Remember that Worldly Women Will Always Act Worldly
You have to remember what it takes for a woman to look a certain way. Those brands cost a lot of money, that tanning cost money, those nails cost money, that hair cost money, those clothes cost money, that makeup cost money, those shoes cost money. The point is, if you are drawn to a woman who is drawing you to her through worldly means, don’t be surprised when you find out that she acts worldly too.
I’m not saying you should look for women you are not attracted to. I’m just encouraging you to realize that a woman who’s dripping with external worldliness is going to be filled with internal worldliness too. And from the inner self comes behavior (Matthew 15:19-20).
2. To Avoid Getting Played, Remember that a Wife Is Not a Prize to Be Won but a Partner to Work with for the Lord
Sometimes men are drawn to a woman because of what other men will think. In other words, many guys have not been validated by their earthly fathers and have not taken the biblical path to be validated by their Heavenly Father. Thus, these invalidated men are always asking, “Do you think I’m a real man?”
Because men know that other men value beautiful women, they often feel that to be respected in the world, they need to win a beautiful woman and make her their wife. This is a great way to end up with a woman who will play you. If she knows you think she’s a trophy, she will manipulate you rather than assist you as a wife is made to do.
Therefore, to avoid getting played, you have to make sure you want a wife for the right reasons. As 1 Peter 3:7 (NLT) states, “She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God’s gift of new life. Treat her as you should so your prayers will not be hindered.”
Related Video: How to Be Validated as a Man
3. To Avoid Getting Played, Make Sure She Is Not a Flirtatious Woman Who Craves Male Attention
If she is giving you a lot of attention, making little jokes to tease you, or giving you compliments that clearly insinuate romantic interest, that’s not necessarily a bad thing. You want a woman to be inviting so you know you should pursue her if you like her and she has godly character as a Christian woman.
The problem only occurs when she is a flirtatious woman towards men in general. Does she like to play this game with a new guy every few weeks? Or has she been consistent in giving you more attention than she gives to other men?
It might feel good to have her focused on you, but if she is doing this just because she likes male attention, you will definitely get played by her eventually. Proverbs 6:25 (NLT), “Don’t lust for her beauty. Don’t let her coy glances seduce you.”
4. To Avoid Getting Played, Avoid the Woman Who Makes Things Too Easy and Quick
As the old saying goes, “Easy come, easy go.” I’m not saying you should pursue the difficult woman who is a mystery to you, never giving you a clear answer on whether or not she is interested in a relationship. Rather, I’m cautioning you about the woman who is so eager to get into a relationship that she seems too good to be true.
When a woman is rushing the relationship, she will usually rush out of the relationship just as quickly. A woman who moves too fast with a guy is oftentimes attracted to the new guy. The problem with the new guy is that he won’t stay new very long. So she always has to bounce from guy to guy to get those butterflies she’s addicted to.
Thus, you want a woman who is a bit guarded and who is taking her time. She should open up to you if she’s interested, but she should be doing this in a wise way that requires you to earn her trust (Proverbs 4:23, Song of Solomon 8:4).
5. To Avoid Getting Played, Avoid the Woman Who Wants a Relationship with a Man More Than She Wants a Relationship with Jesus
There’s no perfect woman out there. Every human is sinful. Thus, what you really want to look for in a woman is the Christian maturity to know that she can do nothing good without Jesus in her life (John 15:5).
If she thinks a man is going to make her happy even if she’s not happy in Jesus first (Philippians 4:4), she’s the type of woman who will play you. She will make you think you are making her happy, but over time she will grow dissatisfied because she will be asking you to give her things only God can give her.
To avoid getting played, look for a humble woman who loves Jesus more than anything else.
Related Article: 5 Signs a Woman Will Be a Curse Rather than a Blessing to You