2 Timothy 3:6
Here are 5 odd things that often happen when the Lord is trying to protect you from a bad relationship.
1. When God Is Protecting You from a Bad Relationship, He Will Somehow Let You Know This Person Does Not Really Mean What They Are Saying to You
It’s odd when someone tells you all the right things you’ve always wanted to hear, but for some reason you know they don’t really mean what they are saying. Oftentimes this is the Holy Spirit giving you discernment about this person.
Perhaps they are saying the right things but they are saying them so early in your relationship it makes it feel disingenuous. Or perhaps they are saying the right things but only after they sensed you were upset at them so now it feels like they are just trying to appease you and don’t really mean it. Or perhaps God shows you actual evidence through observing their actions that disproves what this person is saying.
Whatever the case may be, while it can be an odd experience to have someone finally telling you all the right things you’ve always wanted to hear while also knowing God is showing you this person is not genuine, this is a sign he is protecting you from a bad relationship. As Romans 16:17-18 states:
I appeal to you, brothers, to watch out for those who cause divisions and create obstacles contrary to the doctrine that you have been taught; avoid them. For such persons do not serve our Lord Christ, but their own appetites, and by smooth talk and flattery they deceive the hearts of the naive.”
This Bible passage is referring to false teachers, but the principle can certainly be applied to relationships. Avoid someone who is just using smooth talk and flattery to deceive you.
2. If You Notice Someone Is Trying to Control You Through Guilt, This Is a Sign God Is Protecting You from a Bad Relationship
The reason this experience is so odd is because we all know people should not try to control us through manipulation and guilt but even when we sense that someone is doing this to us, in the moment it can still be hard not to be controlled and influenced. Sometimes your desire for love can outweigh the respect you should have for yourself. It’s possible to know that someone is using guilt to control you while still allowing them to do this to you. For as 2 Timothy 3:6 (NIV) states:
They are the kind who worm their way into homes and gain control over gullible women, who are loaded down with sins and are swayed by all kinds of evil desires . . . .”
This verse is not about “gullible women.” Paul just points this out because in this passage he was referring to specific male false teachers and these men were preying on certain women. There are just as many gullible men getting preyed on by manipulative women as well.
The principle to notice here is that there are people in the world who act like worms. They find little cracks in your foundation and slither their way in. Shame is often a crack they find to exploit. So if someone is constantly sending you on a guilt trip, don’t allow the hope for love to outweigh the reality of their manipulation.
3. If Your Life Is Becoming More and More Chaotic the Closer You Get with Someone, This Is a Sign God Is Trying to Protect You from a Bad Relationship
Have you ever had the odd experience where it seems that your life took a turn for the worse as soon as you got involved with a certain person? Perhaps your life was rather orderly and on track but then you and this person started talking and bam, chaos ensued. While this odd experience can certainly be just a coincidence, it is also possible God is showing you this to protect you from a bad relationship.
One way God sends us signs is by teaching us about causes and effects. Throughout the Bible God shows us how certain causes produce certain effects; and thus, if you see a certain cause this is a sign that a certain effect will soon come and if you see certain effects this is a sign a certain cause has already occurred. One of those cause and effect correlations can be seen in James 3:13-18. It states:
Who is wise and understanding among you? By his good conduct let him show his works in the meekness of wisdom. But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast and be false to the truth. This is not the wisdom that comes down from above, but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic. For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice. But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere. And a harvest of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace.”
Notice the cause of “jealousy and self ambition” and how these produce the effect of “disorder and every vile practice.” Therefore, if you are experiencing more and more disorder in your life the closer you get to a certain person, this is probably a sign this person is a part of the cause due to their jealousy and selfish ambition.
4. If God Is Showing You a Pattern of Panic and Doubt in Someone’s Life Every Time a Trial Pops Up, This Is a Sign God Is Protecting You from a Bad Relationship
We all struggle with anxiety and panic from time to time. Trials, by definition, are difficult to go through. So we should not judge people if they are having a hard time as they face a trial in their life.
But there is a difference between someone who is fighting through a trial in faith and someone who is like a wave that is constantly tossed about by every little negative thing that occurs in their life. As James 1:5-8 states:
If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him. But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind. For that person must not suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways.”
In James 1:5 we see the normal path of a Christian. We all will face confusing and painful trials, but then we are to ask God for the help and wisdom to proceed. It’s normal to be confused, and it’s normal to ask God for help. But what is not normal for a healthy Christian is for every trial to cause huge doubts about God. Some people have no roots, which means as soon as the trials of life blow a little wind on them, they get tossed around. Being “double-minded” means they are constantly going back and forth. No matter what counsel you offer, no matter what solution God provides, they choose to remain “unstable” in all their ways.
If God is showing you this odd reaction by someone who seems to always be unhinged in life, this is a sign God is protecting you from a bad relationship.
5. If Someone Is Mad at God or Does Not Believe in God Despite All of God’s Blessings in Their Life, This Odd Reaction Is a Sign God Does Not Want You to Be in a Relationship with This Person
Perhaps one of the oddest experiences humans are constantly producing in their own lives is doubting God or getting mad at God even though God is abundantly providing for them every millisecond of the day.
In Acts 14:17 it states, “Yet he did not leave himself without witness, for he did good by giving you rains from heaven and fruitful seasons, satisfying your hearts with food and gladness.” In Acts 17:25 it states, “. . . he himself gives to all mankind life and breath and everything.” And in James 1:16-17 is also says, “Do not be deceived, my beloved brothers. Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change.”
My point is, there is nothing stranger than for us humans who have breath in our lungs, life in our bodies, and daily provisions keeping us alive to then complain that there is no God or that God is not good. If someone is struggling to have their daily needs met, we should seek to help them and ask God to supply for them. But there are countless people who have good health, good jobs, and many good material blessings, but then they shake their fists at God. Certainly material blessings will not satisfy the human heart – only God can do that. But God often uses these gifts to point us to him. In sin we often use these gifts to run further from him.
What’s so odd about this is that when your eyes are open to the truth, everywhere you look there is evidence for God and evidence of his love for you. When seeing with biblical vision, we should approach God every day like a grateful child waking up on Christmas morning with piles and piles of gifts from their parents; but in sin, since the one gift they wanted from God is not there, many people act like a child who doubts the existence of their parents on Christmas morning despite the piles of gifts because they did not get the one gift they wanted.
If someone acts like this and refuses to give credit to God for the good in their life, this is a sign God is protecting you from a bad relationship.