God does not require many of the things people commonly think they need to have before they can get into a serious relationship headed towards marriage.
In this article, I’m going to help you reject five common fake requirements Christians have wrongly believed are needed before you can find love.
1. A Lot of Money
In Scripture, “a child” is not marked by age but rather by dependency. Someone became an adult when they were no longer financially dependent on their parents. This is why it says in Genesis 2:24, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” Their ability to leave their parents is a sign they are ready for marriage.
Therefore, if a man and woman are financially stable enough to join forces and survive without the financial assistance of others, that’s all the money they need.
Don’t let materialism prevent you from pursuing a serious relationship.
2. Enough Wasted Time in the World
There is a cultural mindset that young people should make stupid choices, live in sin, and only get serious about starting a family once they get older. Don’t believe this lie from hell.
If you are in your late teens or early twenties, stop acting like a child. God has a purpose for you right now. You don’t need to waste decades living like a fool before you are mature enough to take on meaningful responsibility, like starting a family.
From my own personal experience, my choice to get married at 22 and have our first child when I was 26 was one of the best decisions of my life. Towards the end of the famous love passage in 1 Corinthians 13, Paul wrote, “When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways” (1 Corinthians 13:11).
Don’t fall for the lies of this world, telling you that you need to live in sin during your youth (2 Timothy 2:22). Put that all behind you. Be the mature Christian God has called you to be so you can experience the love God wants you to experience.
3. Education and a Clarified Career Path
Another reason people are waiting longer and longer to get married and start a family is because of the marketing schemes of colleges. Education has been painted as the only sure path to riches and happiness. But for many, it’s just brought debt and delayed adulthood.
Education and a clear career path can be good. But you don’t need to wait to have them to have a serious relationship or to get married. There’s no reason a man and woman can’t work their way through college while they are married and pursue their careers as a married couple. You don’t need to do all this before getting married.
Yes, it’s easier to go through school unmarried. Yes, it’s easier to have a nice career before getting married. But why should hard work be avoided? Why do we assume the easier path is the better path?
On a personal note, I was a sophomore in college when I got married and then went on to complete a masters degree in pastoral counseling. And yes, it was difficult to work, be married, go to school, and then have kids as I finished my degree. But over a decade later, my wife and I can look back at those hard years with fond memories because of how we grew even closer through the struggles we went through together.
It’s fine if you get married later in life if that’s what God leads you to do. God’s path for everyone is different. I’m not saying everyone should try to do what I did. Just don’t avoid a godly path because you are following worldly advice.
A man and woman make a great team when they are both working together. When you marry young, you get the blessing of obeying Proverbs 5:18-19, “Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth, a lovely deer, a graceful doe. Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight; be intoxicated always in her love.”
4. A House
I’ve never understood why a single man living in apartment and a single woman living in apartment feel like they can only get married once they can buy a house together. There’s nothing wrong with a young married couple living in a tiny apartment and driving junky cars.
Your home is where your family is. If man and woman become a husband and wife, they become a family. Thus, they can make a home anywhere they are together. As Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 states, “Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up!”
5. Everyone’s Approval
If you get into a serious relationship headed towards marriage, prepare yourself to hear from a bunch of wounded people projecting their own hurts onto you:
- “Don’t get married. She will divorce you and take all your money.”
- “Don’t marry him and have kids. He will change because he’ll know you’re trapped.”
- “Sleep around. You’re young. Don’t settle down so early in life.”
Listen to the Lord and to those who love God, not lost people who are living lost lives.
As Romans 12:2 states, “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.”
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