We should never blame Satan for our sins. Even when we are tempted, the Bible states that we alone are responsible for our own choices (James 1:14-15).
With that said, one helpful way to stop making sinful choices is to see how the enemy is using them against us. When you see how masturbation negatively impacts your hope to get married one day, it can provide you with extra motivation to stop.
So here are 5 ways Satan can leverage masturbation to keep you single.
1. Satan Can Use Masturbation to Keep You Single Because It Lowers Your Energy to Pursue Marriage
Proverbs 16:26 states, “A worker’s appetite works for him; his mouth urges him on.” In other words, when someone is hungry they have lots of motivation to work but when they are full they often lose motivation to work.
This same principle can be applied to sexual desire. Certainly sexual pleasure should not be the main motivation to get married. But according to 1 Corinthians 7:1-8, sexual pleasure is one reason you should pursue marriage.
However, when you go to alternative wells to get a drink, it keeps you from going to the correct well God wants you to drink from. As Proverbs 5:15, 18-19 states:
Drink water from your own cistern, flowing water from your own well . . . Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth, a lovely deer, a graceful doe. Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight; be intoxicated always in her love.”
This verse is really talking about adultery, but the principle here applies to masturbation. If you are drinking from the well of masturbation you will lose your thirst which should be used as motivation to pursue a godly marriage.
2. Satan Can Use Masturbation to Keep You Single Because It Produces an Inner Shame That Affects Your Outer Presentation to the Opposite Sex
Some people say masturbation itself is not a sin. They say that the lust associated with masturbation is actually the sin. I believe masturbation itself is also sin for reasons I’ve explained in my article called, Is Masturbation a Sin?
While the biblical arguments for why it is sinful are important, I think it’s also wise to point out the personal effect masturbation has on people. Say what you want, if you are a Christian you feel shame in your heart after you masturbate because you know it’s sin. As Christians, we also know that the Bible teaches us that what is on the inside of us affects what comes out of us – meaning our behavior (Matthew 5:19).
When you feel shame inside because you are masturbating privately, this then causes you act differently when you are in public because you are carrying that shame within you. The opposite sex will pick up on your lack of confidence, your subtle in ability to show your true self, and your overall doubt that you are prepared to be a godly spouse because you know there is a secret sin in your life.
Thankfully God’s grace is sufficient to not only wipe our sins clean but to also remove all shame so we can live out our newness in Christ (1 John 1:9, Romans 8:1, Romans 6:4).
3. Satan Can Use Masturbation to Keep You Single Because It Turns the Opposite Sex Into an Object Which Causes You to Treat Them in an Unnatural Way
While many people know it’s unwise to overvalue sexual attraction, many Christians swing too far in the opposite direction and claim that it shouldn’t matter at all.
When you read through Song of Solomon, it’s difficult to make the case that God wants Christians to completely ignore sexual attraction in the relationship equation. I believe the biblical approach is to be balanced in this area. Someone’s character is way more important than your physical attraction to them but whether or not you are attracted to them is an important factor to consider.
Masturbation, however, will cause your mind to become imbalanced. Your scale will become dangerously weighted in the wrong direction to where you are overlooking character flaws because you are so preoccupied with someone’s body. This then leads you to pursue relationships which lack the biblical qualities God wants for his people and thus it will keep you single. Masturbation will turn you into the type of person outlined in Proverbs 7:21-23, which states:
With much seductive speech she persuades him; with her smooth talk she compels him. All at once he follows her, as an ox goes to the slaughter, or as a stag is caught fast till an arrow pierces its liver; as a bird rushes into a snare; he does not know that it will cost him his life.”
4. Satan Can Use Masturbation to Keep You Single Because It Makes the Desirable Seem Undesirable
Proverbs 27:7 explains, “One who is full loathes honey, but to one who is hungry everything bitter is sweet.”
When someone eats lots of junk food, their tastebuds lose their sense of direction. When they see something healthy, they don’t want to eat it because they have trained themselves to eat unhealthy things. But when someone has been eating healthy food for a while, they opposite begins to happen. When they see junk food, they don’t want it. They get excited to eat healthy.
Likewise, when you masturbate, you are training yourself to desire that which should be undesirable. When you are full on sin you will loath holy relationships. But when you stop masturbating, you will be hungry for holiness. Your desires will be purified and you will start craving good things in relationships again rather than unholy things.
5. Satan Can Use Masturbation to Keep You Single Because God Knows Your Sexual Sin Issues Will Negatively Impact a Marriage
God easily and always overrules Satan. But God loves us too much to give us things before we are ready to handle them properly. Therefore, to keep you from being blessed with a relationship, the devil will tempt you to stay immature and under equipped for marriage.
You are wrong if you think marriage will solve your sexual sin issues. It can help (1 Corinthian 7:1-8). But a lack of sex isn’t the real root reason for a masturbation issue. The real reason is a lack of self-control. There are just as many married people masturbating and watching porn as there are single people because self-control doesn’t magically appear just because you are married.
Don’t think you can masturbate in singleness and then completely stop in marriage. It’s easy to think a lack of sex is your issue but sin is never satisfied through pleasure. If you have a sin issue rooted in a lack of self-control, God knows a marriage won’t magically solve this. This issue will just corrupt your marriage.
So if you want to be trusted with a marriage one day, you have to start being faithful to God in your singleness (Luke 16:10).
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