Proverbs 15:17
Here are 5 strange things that will often happen in your life when God does not want you with a specific person you are interested in.
1. God Will Confirm Your Concerns About Someone in Ways That You Could Never Have Planned Yourself
When you have walked with the Lord long enough, you will have enough “random” or “coincidental” or “crazy” situations occur at just the right moment that you will realize these are not mere chance happenings. This often occurs when we are asking God about our desire for a certain person. Jeremiah 10:23-24 states:
I know, O Lord, that the way of man is not in himself, that it is not in man who walks to direct his steps. Correct me, O Lord, but in justice; not in your anger, lest you bring me to nothing.”
While I believe these verses apply more to morality and living righteously for the Lord, even when it comes to decisions about what path to take in life God still must direct our steps.
Many times we have concerns about a certain person but we doubt our own discernment. In a way this is wise because you don’t want to make big decisions based on feelings and inner thoughts that could go away and turn out to be nothing. But God will often show us our concerns are valid by doing something that is just too coincidental to actually be coincidental.
Perhaps the sermon answers a specific question you had about this person which you were just praying about on the drive to church. Perhaps you randomly run into someone at the store who reveals some hidden information about someone that confirms your concerns. Or perhaps on your next date with this person they reveal a big character issue right after you asked the Lord to show you if this person is ready for a godly relationship.
If this type of thing is happening in a way that is just too specific to be random and is confirming the fears you already had about someone, this is probably a sign God is telling you not to be with this person.
2. If There Is Always Some Barrier Stopping the Relationship from Even Getting Started, This Is a Good Sign God Does Not Want You with This Person
Perhaps one of you suddenly has to relocate for work. Perhaps one you meet someone else that you feel even more strongly about. Or perhaps you two just orbit each other but for some reason never actually take your relationship to the next level and then eventually your feelings fade.
All in all, while it is strange why these types of connections don’t transform into a more serious relationship, when this type of thing happens it is a sign God does not want you with this person. As Proverbs 19:21 states, “Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand.”
3. If God Does Not Want You with Someone, You Will Often Find the Idea of This Person More Enjoyable Than Really Spending Time with Him or Her
Sometimes two people are absolutely crazy about one another . . . except when they are actually spending time together. In other words, sometimes the idea of a certain relationship is actually much better than the reality of a certain relationship between two people.
Perhaps you like each other’s career choices, appearance, or social standing – but your connection together is just not happening. As Proverbs 15:17 (NIV) states, “Better a small serving of vegetables with love than a fattened calf with hatred.” In other words, no matter the earthly perks, nothing will be enjoyable if the love is not genuine.
Two people can have huge crushes on each other for a long time, but then when they finally start dating and getting to know each other, their time together is constantly spoiled by silly arguments, miscommunications, and getting offended by the other person. This type of thing will always happen in all relationships to some degree or the other, but if a couple just can’t seem to enjoy their time with one another because they keep having little issues, usually this is a sign there is a bigger underlying issue.
Perhaps their personality traits just clash too much. Perhaps their spiritual maturity levels are just too different to coincide together. Or perhaps their worldviews are so opposed to one another they would not be able to function in marriage. Whatever the case may be, when you can’t enjoy spending time together early on in dating, this is a big sign your relationship should not progress further.
4. God Will Give You a Vision for Your Future That This Person Does Not Fit Into When He Does Not Want You With Someone
I’m not talking about a supernatural vision or prophetic dreams. I’m talking about the type of “vision” one gets from God when he lays a certain desire on someone’s heart.
Some people want adopt children one day and some people don’t. Some people want to be missionaries and some people just want to financially support missions. Some people have a heart for a certain type of ministry while others have a heart for something else. Some people feel passionate about going to one type of denominational church while others vehemently disagree with what that denomination believes.
You don’t have to be perfectly aligned in every way. Your future spouse doesn’t need to have the same gifts as you or serve in the exact same ministry field as you. But if they would prevent you from walking a path God wants you to walk, this is a sign God does not want you with this person.
As Matthew 6:33 teaches us, putting God first is the initial step we must take if we want to receive God’s will for our lives. It states, “But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.”
5. You Will Have a Nagging Inner Doubt About This Relationship that Won’t Go Away When God Does Not Want You with Someone
Choosing who to date and marry one day is not the same as following God’s moral laws. When it comes to sinning or not sinning, we always know exactly what God wants for us even if we feel like disobeying. But God gives us options when it comes to relationships and there is not always a Biblical command to show you what path to choose and what path to reject.
God will lead you through your healthy desires when it comes to relationships. If your desire for someone is just not there even though you feel like it should be because you really respect this person as a Christian, don’t force it. As Song of Solomon 8:4 (NIV) states, “Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you: Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.”
Therefore, a lack of desire for someone is a sign you should not date them.