Here are 5 things the Holy Spirit will do to help you discern who your future spouse is.
1. The Holy Spirit Will Help You Discern Who Your Future Spouse Is By Aligning Your Mind and Heart About This Person
Relationships are messy and emotional. While we sometimes long for a math equation to help us know exactly who God wants us to marry, when he wants us to marry them, and how all of this will unfold, it just doesn’t work that way.
Likewise, while the Holy Spirit will guide us through principles and laws in Scripture, following his leading is not always instant and clear. In the midst of the mess and emotions, our ability to hear his voice can waver.
This is where we need to depend on the Spirit’s supernatural ability to align everything that needs to be aligned. Even when you don’t fully understand how he will make your path straight, you have to trust that he will (Proverbs 3:5-6, Philippians 4:7).
When it comes to knowing who to marry, when you trust the Spirit, he will take your mind and gives you the wisdom you need and he will take your heart and give you the emotions you need. This will happen in his timing, not yours. Through it all, the Spirit will not spare you of confusion but he will guide you through it, bringing the order only he can bring.
As Romans 8:26 explains, “Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words.”
2. The Holy Spirit Will Help You Discern Who Your Future Spouse Is By Speaking to You Through the Process of Meeting, Dating, and Getting Married
Yes, the Holy Spirit will whisper in your heart about your future spouse. But rarely will God tell you who your future spouse is without first putting you through a wise process to bring the needed confirmation.
So does this mean the Holy Spirit is just going to use wisdom and circumstances in your life to reveal your future spouse to you? No. It means that as you go through a wise process with this person to decipher the will of God for your relationship, the Holy Spirit will be speaking to you personally as well, guiding you along the journey.
As Galatians 5:25 states, “If we live by the Spirit, let us also keep in step with the Spirit.” Sometimes the Holy Spirit will just tell you what to do and then that’s it. But more often than not, the Holy Spirit will walk with you through the different seasons that need to occur to know how a situation will turn out. This is true when it comes to figuring out who to marry too.
3. The Holy Spirit Will Help You Discern Who Your Future Spouse Is By Bringing to Remembrance the Words of Jesus as You Interpret the Relationship Facts
John 14:26, “But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, he will teach you all things and bring to your remembrance all that I have said to you.”
As Christians, we know we need biblical confirmation about our choice in a spouse. But how will that actually look?
There are at least two ways this will play out. First, there should be clear obedience to the direct commands given in Scripture about marriage. For example, the Bible clearly states what is required to have an equally yoked relationship (2 Corinthians 6:14), what is required of a wife (Ephesians 5:22-24), and what is required of a husband (Ephesians 5:25-31). If the couple doesn’t match the biblical requirements, there is no present evidence that they should get married one day.
However, in addition to the biblical laws and principles, there should also be personal application of Scripture to the unique relationship variables present in your search for knowledge about your future spouse.
This is where you clearly need the Holy Spirit’s help to give you discernment about your future spouse. There isn’t just a blueprint in Scripture that will crack the marriage equation for you in singleness. You have to wisely apply biblical principles to confusing things that happen in life.
Related Video: 3 Confusing Things God Allows When You Meet The One
4. The Holy Spirit Will Help You Discern Who Your Future Spouse Is By Helping You Sense His Fruit in Your Connection with Each Other
Whenever the Holy Spirit is present, there will be certain things occurring that make it clear it’s truly the Holy Spirit. When there are things like “sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, drunkenness, and things like these” (Galatians 5:19-21), it’s clear the flesh and not the Spirit are present (Galatians 5:16-17).
Thus, when the Spirit is giving you discernment that someone is your future spouse, you will see the good works of the Spirit present in your connection with this person. As Galatians 5:22-23 explains, “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.”
5. The Holy Spirit Will Help You Discern Who Your Future Spouse Is By Giving You a Supernatural Peace When You Pray About the Situation
Follow the peace because peace is a result of the Holy Spirit. When there is chaos and strife, you know the Spirit is going the other direction. Thus, as you seek the Lord’s leading about who to marry, he will bring you peace when you are on the right road. As Philippians 4:6-7 (NIV) explains:
Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”