Will you know when God is revealing “your person” to you? Or will you miss the signs God is sending? By the term, “your person,” I’m referring to that one person God has planned for you to connect with in a way that you never experienced before. I mean the person God will lead you to marry one day.
Here are five uncomfortable things God will use to reveal your person to you.
1. God Will Reveal Your Person to You By Not Blessing Your Connection with Every Other Potential Partner
Before you meet the person God has for you, there is a strong temptation to give into the fear of being alone forever. It’s common to worry, “What if I’m just one of those people who never find the right person? What if God just doesn’t want me to ever get married?”
God certainly does call some Christians to singleness, but one sign that you have that calling is a contentment with that calling. In other words, those who have the gift of singleness are happy about it, like Paul was (1 Corinthians 7:7). Paul wasn’t complaining about being single. He was truly enjoying it (1 Corinthians 7:40). Therefore, he reasons that if you are not happy like he was in singleness, this probably means God is calling you to pursue marriage (1 Corinthians 7:7, 36).
Of course we must always be fully satisfied in God through Jesus Christ (Philippians 4:4), but nowhere in Scripture does God command us to ignore the biblical desires he’s given us, like for marriage (Genesis 12:18).
All that to say, it’s normal to be in an uncomfortable season of singleness before you meet your person. Why? Because the fact that you are wanting a relationship is a sign God probably has one for you one day. When other relationships don’t work out, it’s probably because God is simply reserving you for the right person that he will give you at the right time.
2. God Will Reveal Your Person to You By Using Each Other’s Insecurities to Make Each of You More Secure in the Lord
This doesn’t always happen, but it is common for God to put two people together that have insecurities which antagonize one another in such a way that the insecurities actually feel worse rather than better when those two people are with each other.
For example, a man may have the insecurity of being rejected if he pursues the woman. And a woman may have an insecurity of being rejected if a man ever got to know her. Therefore, her insecurity may tempt her to be cold towards the man once he pursues as a way of protecting herself from being truly known. But the man’s insecurities about being rejected will then be inflamed when he senses her backing away. This then triggers her to feel like he is rejecting her now that he’s getting to know her. And so the couple can easily find themselves in a cycle where both of their insecurities are fueling the other person’s insecurities.
Why would God pair you with someone like this? Why not just put you with someone who has issues that don’t perfectly inflame your issues so badly? God often does this because he would rather you deal with your issues rather than avoid them forever. By putting you with someone that makes your insecurities so unbearable, he is using this discomfort to motivate you to find your security in him first and foremost.
As Philippians 4:13 states, “I can do all things through him who strengthens me.”
3. God Will Reveal Your Person to You By Shattering Your Immature Expectations About True Love
The amount of unhappiness in your life is usually equal to the amount of unmet expectations in your life. The greater the gap between what you expected to happen and what actually is happening, the greater the gap between you and your peace. Peace is found when your desires and God’s will for you become one. When you want something God doesn’t have for you, there is turmoil in your soul. Only by submitting to the will of the Lord will tranquility triumph in your inner being.
And so, in love, God will often shatter any immature expectations of love so he can bless you with the real thing. True love is not backdropped with TikTok trendy music. True love has no filter making the color brighter and your skin smoother. True love can only flourish in the harsh, beautiful mess of real life.
1 Corinthians 13:7, “Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” God tells us this about love because true love will have to go through some things, some really hard things, things that will require great endurance.
When God reveals your person to you, it will much harder than you thought and much better than you thought.
4. God Will Reveal Your Person to You By Allowing This Person to See Your Ugly Parts Before Choosing to Fully Commit to You
You’ll want to be perfect for the person God has for you. And this desire will tempt you to hide your flaws. In love, however, God won’t let you succeed. If they never saw your flaws, you would always doubt their love, because you would always wonder if they would stay if they knew the truth about you.
God will let this person see all your imperfections so you can experience the knowledge that this person really does love you. And God will let you see this person’s issues too. Then, when you both know for certain you are not perfect people and that you both have real issues and yet you still love each other, you will both know you’ve found your person.
1 Peter 4:8, “Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins.”
5. God Will Reveal Your Person to You By Allowing You Two to Go Through Hard Things that Actually Bring You Closer to Each Other
The main difference between couples that break up and couples that get married is not the absence or problems but rather the effect that those problems have on the relationship.
When you’ve met the person God has for you, the uncomfortable situations you go through together will actually be strengthening the bond rather than weakening it. Like a piece of metal going through the forge and receiving the hammer blows from the blacksmith, the problems you both face will be used by God to remove the imperfections as you keep being sanctified together.
Colossians 3:14, “And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.”