The best way to avoid a bad marriage is to become a godly man before marriage and marry a godly woman. If you marry a modern woman who’s swallowed the lies of this sinful culture, you can guarantee yourself a miserable marriage.
Therefore, if you want to have a godly wife one day, here are 7 red flags you must never ignore in a woman.
1. If She Rejects the Clear Commandments in the Bible About a Woman Not Leading Her Husband or Men in the Church
The Bible doesn’t say it’s a sin for a woman to lead in society or to hold positions of authority over men in places outside of the home and the church. For example, it’s not a sin in Scripture for a woman to be an elected official in government, to be the head of a company, or to manage other men in the workplace.
However, the Bible does specifically say a woman should not lead men in the church or in the family (1 Timothy 2:11-15, Ephesians 5:22-33). When a woman believes to be equal with her husband she must have the same role as her husband, this is a red flag. The Bible says she is equal with her husband (1 Peter 3:7) and of equal value in the church (Ephesians 5:22-33), but her role is different.
Fathers and husbands are different than mothers and wives. If a woman wants to make them the same, avoid her because she will not be a good wife to you.
2. If She’s Offended By the Word “Submit” When It’s Used Properly in Scripture
Yes, a wife is called to submit to her husband (Ephesians 5:22). And a man is called to die for his wife (Ephesians 5:25). Which is more offensive? To die or to submit? When taken out of context, I guess both can be equally offensive.
But in their right biblical context, both are beautiful and create the full picture of the love between Christ and his church. A man is never told to make his wife submit. The command to submit is always directed towards the woman, meaning it must always be her choice.
If she doesn’t want to make that choice, avoid her because she won’t be a good wife. She won’t appreciate your service to her. You will try to love her but she won’t respect you. For a marriage to be joyful, the man must love and the woman must respect (Ephesians 5:33).
3. If She Views Her Career Just Like a Worldly Man Does
It’s not sinful for a woman to value her career. The Proverbs 31 woman was clearly very entrepreneurial (Proverbs 31:13-16, 24). However, her aim is clearly on her family.
Women have been taught in this modern society to act like worldly men. They are told that the most important thing in their life is their career. They are encouraged to go to college and put their marriage and family goals on hold. Later in life, however, women realize this not what they really want.
If you want to be happy in marriage, don’t marry a woman who values her career over everything. As a man, you must not value your career over everything either. But you are also called to be the provider, so you will need to emphasize and prioritize your career in a different way than your wife.
If she wants to play your role, don’t marry her. Look for a woman who wants to play her roles as the godly wife and mother.
4. If She Believes Abortion Is Good
A lot of women pretend to value biblical truth in relationships even though they are secretly progressive Christians, which means she’s not a real Christian at all; but you can weed her out immediately if she has swallowed the satanic lie that it’s a woman’s right to abort her child.
This is murder (Leviticus 24:17, Exodus 20:13). It’s selfish. And if a woman believes abortion is good, it means she’s been brainwashed by culture to reject her motherly instincts. She’s a modern woman and not a biblical woman if she supports abortion, so avoid her and don’t get involved with her.
5. If She Believes Homosexuality and Gay Marriage Is Not a Sin
Most women are naturally more compassionate than most men. So rather than instantly judge homosexuals, they tend to feel badly for them more than Christian men do. This can be good. As Christians, we must never hate anyone just because they are living in sin. We should seek to treat them fairly without condoning their sin. And according to 1 Corinthians 5:12-13, we are to be more concerned with judging those inside the church rather than those outside the church.
However, many women have allowed their compassion to override their reasoning and thus they have chosen to follow their feelings and not the Bible when it comes to the truth about homosexuality and gay marriage. The Bible clearly says practicing homosexuality is a sin and marriage can only be between one man and one woman (Romans 1:26-27, Leviticus 18:22, 1 Corinthians 6:9-11, 1 Timothy 3:2, Genesis 2:24).
If she’s willing to reject the truth for her feelings because she feels bad for people, avoid her. This is a sign she will always follow her feelings and she won’t be able to do the right thing when it goes against her personal desires and the cultural momentum.
6. If She Disdains Traditional Women Who Value Motherhood and Serving Their Husbands
You can learn a lot about a woman by observing how she treats other women. Who does she look up to and who does she look down on? If she says things like, “Oh, she’s just a stay-at-home mom” or “Yeah, she’s a weirdo who homeschools her kids” or “A woman can do anything a man can do and a man can do anything a woman can do!” this means you will be unequally yoked with her if you are a traditional man.
A stay-at-home mom is doing one of the most important jobs in the world. And homeschooling is a great option considering all the nonsense being taught in schools these days, not to mention all the school shootings.
As Titus 2:3-5 explains, a traditional biblical woman is a powerful piece in the kingdom of God advancing. If she can’t see that, move on and avoid her. She’s not the one for you.
7. If She Goes to a Theologically Liberal Church and Listens to Theologically Liberal Teachers
If she’s willing to listen to teachers who are more concerned with being accepted by the culture rather than standing for the truth in the Bible (Galatians 1:10), that is a clear sign she is not prepared to be a traditional biblical wife.
Related Article: 5 Reasons You Should Never Date a Progressive Christian
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