How can you know if a woman is sexually restrained or if she is promiscuous with a lot of men?
While we certainly can’t know for certain what someone has done in the past without them telling us, it is true that people with certain tendencies often exhibit common external behaviors.
By studying and applying Proverbs 7, we can see at least nine marks of a promiscuous woman.
1. Promiscuous Women Often Use Verbal Flattery on Men
Proverbs 7:4-5, “Love wisdom like a sister; make insight a beloved member of your family. Let them protect you from an affair with an immoral woman, from listening to the flattery of a promiscuous woman.”
There’s nothing wrong with a woman complimenting a man. But that is different than seeking to flatter a guy. When a woman is building you up in an abnormal way that is saturated with seduction and flirtation, it’s probably because she’s promiscuous.
While it might feel good to be wanted, just know she’s probably done this with many guys before you. If she’s comfortable being the pursuer, it’s probably because she has a lot of experience.
2. Promiscuous Women Often Target Naïve Men
Proverbs 7:7-10, “I saw some naive young men, and one in particular who lacked common sense. He was crossing the street near the house of an immoral woman, strolling down the path by her house. It was at twilight, in the evening, as deep darkness fell. The woman approached him . . .”
The unholy trifecta of stupidity is to be in stupid places with stupid people at stupid times. You can sometimes get away with doing one or two of these dumb things. But when you combine all three, you are guaranteeing a terrible outcome for yourself.
This young man was in a bad part of town, with other naïve young men, and late at night. This woman seems to have targeted this particular man because she sensed how much he truly lacked common sense.
A promiscuous woman targets guys like this because she wants to avoid the complications of interacting with a man who has sense. A man with good sense questions her intent. He thinks about how this might look. He puts up boundaries in his life that keep bad women away from him. But a naïve man just assumes a woman really likes him and never questions her intentions.
She looks for men who are easily manipulated for fun, for finances, for fleeting pleasures . . . and then forgotten just as easily.
3. Promiscuous Woman Dress Seductively
Proverbs 7:10, “The woman approached him, seductively dressed and sly of heart.”
Modern women hate when guys like me talk about their clothing. But I’m just using common sense. A woman may claim to wear booty shorts because she likes the way they look on herself, but the truth is, she’s wearing them because she knows they are sexually seductive and get men to look at her. A woman may say she needs to wear skimpy clothing to the gym because she gets so hot, but the truth is, you can wear shorts and a t-shirt without showing every nook and cranny of your body. These common excuses for skimpy clothing simply don’t pass the common-sense test.
Let’s not overcomplicate this, gentleman. If she’s dressing seductively, odds are, she’s a seductress. Avoid her.
4. A Promiscuous Woman Gets Around Town
Proverbs 7:11-12, “She was the brash, rebellious type, never content to stay at home. She is often in the streets and markets, soliciting at every corner.”
Bold, brash, rebellious women aren’t the ones who love a quiet night at home. I’m not saying that a woman who likes to get out a lot is always promiscuous. Rather, I’m saying that a promiscuous woman is usually one who likes to get out. In other words, while some women are just extroverted and like to be social, promiscuous women need to be out because they are always in need of more male attention.
The most important variable is where they are spending their time. Promiscuous women are the ones who always feel like they are missing out. They are always at the club, at the party, or going out on the town. They like “being out there” because that’s where they get the male attention they crave.
5. A Promiscuous Woman Chooses the Man
Proverbs 7:13-15, “She threw her arms around him and kissed him, and with a brazen look she said, ‘I’ve just made my peace offerings and fulfilled my vows. You’re the one I was looking for! I came out to find you, and here you are!’”
I’m a big believer that a godly woman needs to play her part in forming a relationship. While a man should pursue, a woman needs to be inviting. When he acts, she needs to react. A man should not be expected to pursue and pursue without any signs that she might actually like him too.
However, that’s a lot different than what a promiscuous woman does. She forces herself upon the man. She makes him feel like he’s the one she’s always wanted, while in actuality, he’s just another one in her long list of flings.
6. A Promiscuous Woman Is Clear About Her Intentions
Proverbs 7:16-18, “My bed is spread with beautiful blankets, with colored sheets of Egyptian linen. I’ve perfumed my bed with myrrh, aloes, and cinnamon. Come, let’s drink our fill of love until morning. Let’s enjoy each other’s caresses . . .”
You’re not going to have to look at her eyes and make wild implications. You’re not going to have to read into her vague words. If you’re unsure if she’s alluding to something sexual, she’s probably not alluding to something sexual.
When a woman is actually promiscuous, she knows how to make her intentions clear.
7. A Promiscuous Woman Always Has More than One Man
Proverbs 7:19-20, “ . . . for my husband is not home. He’s away on a long trip. He has taken a wallet full of money with him and won’t return until later this month.”
What bugs me about most guys is that they want to find a woman who will sleep with them before marriage and then they complain about how every woman they meet ends up being unfaithful. You can’t have it both ways. If you want a woman to indulge in immorality with you, don’t expect her to turn around and then act faithfully with you too.
A woman who can be faithful to one man has first learned to be faithful to God above every man. If she compromises with you, she will probably compromise with some other guy one day, too. The only way to find a faithful woman is to be a man who values the qualities of a faithful woman. If you require a woman to sleep with you before marriage, you are much more likely to end up with a woman who will be unfaithful to you one day.
8. A Promiscuous Woman Always Brings More Pain than Pleasure
Proverbs 7:21-27, “So she seduced him with her pretty speech and enticed him with her flattery. He followed her at once, like an ox going to the slaughter. He was like a stag caught in a trap, awaiting the arrow that would pierce its heart. He was like a bird flying into a snare, little knowing it would cost him his life. So listen to me, my sons, and pay attention to my words. Don’t let your hearts stray away toward her. Don’t wander down her wayward path. For she has been the ruin of many; many men have been her victims. Her house is the road to the grave. Her bedroom is the den of death.””
If you want to know if she’s a promiscuous woman, just look at the lives of the men she’s been involved with. Are they worse off than before they were with her? A godly woman doesn’t leave a train wreck of relational carnage in her path. Even when she knows a guy is not right for her, she doesn’t ruin his life in the short time they were together.
9. A Promiscuous Woman Can Be Easily Avoided By Godly Wisdom
Proverbs 7:1-5, “Follow my advice, my son; always treasure my commands. Obey my commands and live! Guard my instructions as you guard your own eyes . . . Let them protect you from an affair with an immoral woman, from listening to the flattery of a promiscuous woman.”
Let’s go back to how this whole passage started. While there are many marks of a promiscuous woman found throughout Proverbs 7, the emphasis on this passage is not really the promiscuous woman but rather the foolish man who falls for the promiscuous woman.
In other words, a wise and godly man won’t be fooled by this type of woman. If you apply basic biblical wisdom and common sense, it’s not hard to avoid her traps.
But if you’re a fool, she’ll find you.
