Here are 4 signs that usually mean God has called a man to life of singleness.
1. If Being Single Would Help This Man Serve God More Than Being Married Would Help Him Serve God, the Lord Is Calling Him to a Life of Singleness
One of the most helpful places to study in Scripture when it comes to the call of singleness is 1 Corinthians 7. This passage, however, is notoriously misunderstood. After reading Paul’s words, you might feel like, “If I really loved God, I would remain single. If I get married, however, it means I just ‘kind of’ love God.”
That is not what Paul is saying in 1 Corinthians 7. When you read the whole chapter in context, I do think we have to admit that Paul places a higher value on singleness. For he says, “So then he who marries his betrothed does well, and he who refrains from marriage will do even better” (1 Corinthians 7:38). But let us quickly remind ourselves that Paul also said, “For it is better to marry than to burn with passion” (1 Corinthians 7:9).
In one verse Paul says it is better to marry and in another verse he says it is better to be single. The way I have come to interpret the point of this passage is that the goal is not to be single or married but rather to serve God. Paul elevates singleness when there are no extra individual variables in the equation because in singleness you can solely focus on God. In singleness you will have less practical responsibilities than a married man (1 Corinthians 7:32-35). That’s why in 1 Corinthians 7:38 Paul said it is better not to marry.
However, when you enter personal variables into the equation that are unique to each individual, sometimes marriage would be better for that specific person. Why? Because the goal is to serve God.
2. If a Man Has Excellent Self-Control Over His Sexuality and He Does Not Burn with Passion for Sex, This Could Be a Sign God Is Calling Him to a Life of Singleness
Another clear biblical sign that God is calling someone to a life of singleness is a lack of sexual passion for the opposite sex:
But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. . . . To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single, as I am. But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.” (1 Corinthians 7:2, 8-9)
The Bible is not saying that sex should be the main motivation for getting married. Rather, a desire for sex is just one sign that someone is called to pursue marriage.
It’s kind of like being hungry. Being hungry is not a sign that your purpose is to eat food. Hunger does not mean you should live to eat but rather you must eat to live. The desire for food is a sign you should eat food to remain healthy.
Likewise, when the desire for sex is not tainted with sinful desires, it should be seen as one sign to pursue marriage. You are not marrying to have sex. But a desire for sex is a sign you were designed for marriage.
Sex is an important part of connecting with your spouse in marriage. If you have a sexual desire but no spouse, this probably means your sexual desire is meant to be used in the future to connect with your future spouse in marriage one day. If you don’t have a sexual desire and you don’t have a desire to be married, this would be evidence that you are called to remain single.
3. A Man Might Be Called to Singleness If His Reasoning Is Devoid of False Religious Regulations
Marriage is a gift from God (1 Corinthians 7:7). Marriage should never disqualify anyone from any type of godly ministry. Sadly, there are many religions today that claim celibacy and singleness are requirements for holiness. 1 Timothy 4:1-5 explains:
Now the Spirit expressly says that in later times some will depart from the faith by devoting themselves to deceitful spirits and teachings of demons, through the insincerity of liars whose consciences are seared, who forbid marriage and require abstinence from foods that God created to be received with thanksgiving by those who believe and know the truth. For everything created by God is good, and nothing is to be rejected if it is received with thanksgiving, for it is made holy by the word of God and prayer.”
If you want to serve the Lord, this is not a sign that you are called by God to singleness. God can call you to marriage or singleness and call you to serve him in full-time ministry as well.
4. If a Man Wants to Be Single for Healthy, Christ-Exalting Reasons, This Is a Strong Indicator He Has the “Gift of Singleness”
The reason I am emphasizing the motivation for singleness is that many times men “want” to be single because of wounds, fears, or unhealthy reasons based in negative past experiences. Oftentimes there is another part in their heart where they actually do want to get married, they just don’t want to get hurt, and so they feel like a life of singleness is the only option for them.
Notice, however, the motive for singleness in 1 Corinthians 7 is not based in fear or shame. Rather, the motive that Paul is encouraging in those who feel led to singleness is the desire to serve God through singleness rather than marriage.
When you read 1 Corinthians 7, to me the big summary is this: If you want to serve God in marriage, you should pursue marriage. But if you want to serve God your whole life in singleness, you should pursue singleness. What do you want? Either choice is biblical (1 Corinthians 7:36-37).
Therefore, when you think about a life of singleness, if you get sad, anxious, frustrated, or you have any other negative emotions, this is probably a sign that God is not calling you to singleness forever. These emotions are something you must work on and explore with God, but if you want to be married this is a sign God is probably calling you to pursue marriage.
We all have a season in life where God has called us to singleness, but that is different than intentionally pursuing a life of singleness like Paul talks about in 1 Corinthians 7. Those who are called to pursue a life of singleness are marked by a desire to live that life with an unbegrudging attitude, “Each one must give as he has decided in his heart, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver” (2 Corinthians 9:7).
In summary, if you are a man who is called to a life of singleness, you will be happy about this calling and you will be very content without a wife.
Related Article: 7 Reasons Most Men Should Not Pursue Singleness