What Does the Bible Say About Oral Sex?

What does the Bible say about oral sex? Here are 4 biblical principles to consider.

1. Oral Sex Is a form of Sexual Activity, Thus It Is a Sin If Done Outside of Marriage According to the Bible

This point is simple for anyone who wants to genuinely obey what the Scriptures say, so I won’t spend too much time here.

Sexual sin is not just intercourse before marriage or adultery when married. According to the Bible, any sexual activity in any form is strictly forbidden outside of marriage (1 Corinthians 7:2, 9). According to Scripture, even looking at someone and lusting after them in your heart is sin (Matthew 5:27-30)

Since oral sex is clearly a sexual act, it is very clear that it would be a sin if done outside of the marriage relationship between the husband and wife.

2. Oral Sex Is Not Commanded or Prohibited in Scripture, So It Will Be a Matter of Conscience for a Married Couple

The Bible does not specifically talk about oral sex. Song of Solomon may imply that this couple enjoyed oral sex together (Song of Solomon 2:3, 4:16, 5:1, 7:6-8); however, Song of Solomon uses a lot of vague imagery to describe the sexual experience within this marriage. Thus, it’s unwise to assign specific sexual behavior to this vague imagery in the Bible. The imagery is beautiful and clearly connotes sexual activity, but it’s done in a way where this couple’s private sexual activity could remain private and honored as it should (Hebrews 13:4).

And this theme of vague sexual descriptions is seen throughout the Bible. Whenever sex is mentioned, specific acts are generally left unmentioned. This is probably done for the sake of modesty and to not excite the flesh of the readers with overly descriptive sexual behavior. Rather than giving a list of specifics, the Bible gives two big categories to consider. Any sexual activity without your spouse is a sin. Sexual activity with your spouse is not a sin.

Additionally, I believe the Bible does not list man specific sexual acts because God doesn’t want the couple to operate in a legalistic way when it comes to expressing love through sex. You don’t have to do this or that in sex according to the Bible. It’s supposed to be personal. Some couples like this, some couple like that. You are supposed to be doing things that both the husband and wife both feel good about and that they both are happy to experience together.

Thus, Song of Solomon should not be used as a proof text that a married couple should perform oral sex. Oral sex is an activity that falls into the Romans 14 category of obeying your conscience and doing everything from faith.

3. The Bible Says Sex Within Marriage Must Be Mutual and Loving, Thus Oral Sex Should Never Be Demanded

In a healthy marriage, the husband and wife should be sexually motivated to please the other person (1 Corinthians 7:3). When both the man and woman feel respected and loved, they will want to do sexual things with each other that they know the other person wants to do.

That is the ideal. Of course, we know married couples don’t always love and respect each other as they aught. Additionally, for varying reasons rooted in strong personal preferences and traumatizing past experiences, some sexual acts will be undesirable to some people.

Thus, when we apply these biblical principles and earthly realities to the topic of “What does the Bible say about oral sex?” it’s safe to say that oral sex should never be demanded. Sex in general should not be demanded; rather, it should be done willfully and joyfully. But if there is no sex in the marriage, that is a genuine complaint that needs to be fixed (1 Corinthians 7:5). But a lack of oral sex is not a genuine complaint that needs to be fixed.

If one spouse really wants oral sex but the other spouse really doesn’t want to do it, the spouse who doesn’t want to do it should get preferential treatment. As long as other healthy sexual activities are happening, oral sex should not be a hill to die on.

4. The Bible Says Lust Is Sin, Thus Oral Sex Must Not Be Desired for Lustful Reasons

The fact is, many people in our culture have watched a lot of porn. Thus, when these people get married, they may have a sinful impulse to act out the lustful scenes they watched over the years. If this is the motive for wanting oral sex, the couple should not do it.

While you are having sex with your spouse physically, you can actually be lusting in your heart over past sexual scenes you watched other people doing. The acts you are doing together then become more important than your spouse. That completely misses the point of biblical sex, which is to enjoy love and pleasure with your spouse.

If oral sex is desired because of past lust that is still lingering in the heart, then that person should repent of that past sexual sin and present sexual sin. If they can then choose a holy motive of wanting to enjoy their spouse through oral sex, then they would be free to experience this.

Thus, oral sex is one of those topics each person really needs to examine their heart about (1 Corinthians 10:31, Colossians 3:17). “Why do you want oral sex?” will determine if the Bible would allow you and your spouse to have oral sex.

Conclusion: If oral sex is something a husband and wife are willing to do out of love for the other person, the Bible would permit it. If it is done without a clear conscience, with a lustful motive, or one of the spouses does not want to do it, it would be prohibited by the Bible.

Related Article: What Does the Bible Say About Masturbation?