3 Things God Always Does to an Unequally Yoked Relationship

Perhaps you’re saying something like:

• “Mark, there are no Christians in my area. How am I supposed to get married one day if I can’t date an unbeliever?”
• “But why wouldn’t God want me with this person if I truly love them?”
• “I know we shouldn’t be unequally yoked, but the Bible also says we should make disciples of all nations. What if this is God’s plan for this person to get saved?”
• “Who am I to judge? This person supports me in my faith. Love is love. Right?”

So what’s the big deal? Why does the Bible warn against unequally yoked relationships?

In this article, we are going to look at 3 powerful reasons for why God never wants his people to be in an unequally yoked relationship.

1. The Bible Warns Against Unequally Yoked Relationships Because God Will Not Bless Our Sin

Jeremiah 5:5-6 states, “But they all alike had broken the yoke [with God]; they had burst the bonds. Therefore a lion from the forest shall strike them down; a wolf from the desert shall devastate them.”

This passage was in reference to Israel’s sinful leaders. But the principle explained here relates to us all. When we break our yoke with God and join with those who don’t love him, we lose out on the protection his favor could have brought us.

To be clear, everything good anyone has is always by God’s grace. Grace is a gift we don’t deserve. We all deserve death for our sins (Romans 6:23); but while on earth God blesses us with time to repent (2 Peter 3:9) and many other good things like food, water, and enjoyment (Matthew 5:45, 1 Timothy 6:17).

This is grace! So I am not saying that we can earn God’s blessings on our relationships through effort and obedience.

Rather, I’m saying that obedience to God’s word is the path to accepting the good gifts he wants to give you by grace (James 1:25). For example, we don’t earn our salvation through obeying God’s word. But when we believe what the word says and we show our faith in action, we are accepting the benefits Christ purchased for us (Ephesians 2:8-10, James 2:17).

This same principle applies to relationships. If you want the blessing of a godly relationship full of love and commitment, you must accept this gift of grace through obeying God’s commands about relationships.

God won’t bless a relationship that goes against his will because that would encourage your disobedience. Like a loving parent who wants the best for his children, God will reward good behavior to encourage more of it and he will not bless bad behavior to discourage more of it (Hebrews 12:5-11).

We don’t earn the good. Rather, the good is a means by which God points us towards himself.

2. The Bible Warns Against Unequally Yoked Relationships Because We Become Like the People We Spend Our Time with

Proverbs 13:20, “Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm.”

Time is like a chisel. How you spend your time will shape who you are becoming. Who are going to hand the chisel to?

When you use your time to serve and help unbelievers (2 Timothy 2:24-26), God will use this time to refine you into his image. And when you fellowship with other people who love Jesus, the Lord will use these relationships to mature you in Christ (2 Timothy 2:22, 1 Thessalonians 5:11)

However, when you are close friends with an unbeliever or you are dating a non-Christian, you aren’t doing this for ministry purposes, despite whatever lie you are telling yourself. You are doing this because you are lonely without them and you want this person to fill a void in your heart.

When you spend time around unbelievers like this, it’s like you’re handing the chisel to Satan. Scripture states that unbelievers obey Satan, not God (John 8:44, Ephesians 2:2, 1 John 5:19). The devil will use this unbeliever like a chisel, chipping away at your godly character to shape you into someone who looks just like the rest of the world.

James 4:4, “Therefore whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God.”

3. The Bible Warns Against Unequally Yoked Relationships Because God’s Presence Is Repelled By Unbelief

2 Corinthians 6:14-18 is the key passage in Scripture on the topic of being unequally yoked. When you read this passage in context, it’s clear that the main reason God does not want us in unequally yoked relationships is because God cannot be in an unequally yoked relationship.

You can be in a loving relationship with another Christian and not put this relationship above God. Two Christians can glorify the Lord together and love each other without idolizing each other.

However, when a Christian gets into a deep relationship with an unbeliever, they are always putting this person above God. You can’t have God and be in an unequally yoked relationship. You have to make your choices. You can either not be unequally yoked and be in God’s presence or you can be in this unequally yoked relationship and not have God’s presence.

This is the main reason God is so against these types of relationships. Without his presence in your life, you have nothing. Psalm 16:2, 11 proclaims:

You are my Lord; I have no good apart from you . . . You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.”

If you still have follow up questions about this topic, here’s a playlist of past videos I’ve done: What Does the Bible Say About Unequally Yoked Relationships?