Here are 5 marks that will appear in your life when you meet God’s choice for you.
1. Your Love with this Person Will Grow Bigger and Bigger Rather than Smaller and Smaller
Infatuation starts strong and grows weaker over time. True love, however, often starts small and gets bigger over time. This occurs because unlike infatuation where you are filling in all the blanks with what you hope to be true, real love is based on facts; and facts take time to acquire.
Biblically, it’s not that important how the relationship starts. In other words, it’s okay if you two are wild about each other right away so long as your relationship continues to grow deeper and deeper over time. It’s also just fine if you aren’t interested at first but slowly your feelings begin to warm up.
The most important variable to consider if you want to know if you’ve met God’s choice for you is consistency. Everyone’s relationship will be unique, but what is biblically consistent with healthy romantic relationships is a deepening of the love rather than a weakening of the love as time progresses. If your feelings for someone start strong but actually dwindle the more you get to know them, this is not the person God has for you.
And just to clarify, I don’t mean you will have greater and greater butterflies in your stomach or puppy love. I mean that as time goes on, your relationship with this person will move past that season of infatuation and move into a deep, secure love that is rooted in joyful commitment and truth (John 15:13, Genesis 2:24).
2. There Will Be a Willing and Obvious Change in Both of Your Relationships with Other People from the Opposite Sex
I don’t believe there is anything wrong with single Christian men and women having good friends from the opposite sex. But I mainly think this is good because these friendships are often the basis for a future marriage union.
I don’t think single men and women should be very close friends for long periods of time if they don’t progress into dating. And I definitely don’t believe single men and women should have close friends of the opposite sex when they are dating or married to someone else.
And to be clear, I’m not saying a dating or married couple should have zero friends from the opposite sex. But I do believe all one-on-one activities and conversations should stop with singles of the opposite sex when you’re in a relationship. Things should be done with your significant other if you want to maintain the friendship. Everyone involved must fully recognize how different things must be now that they are in a committed relationship.
If someone doesn’t get this, I would recommend you simply don’t date them. Try to explain the dangers in being close and how this violates the special connection one man and woman should have when they are together. But if they refuse or just don’t understand, accept that they are not the one for you and don’t understand the importance of the marriage relationship.
Regardless of what some people say, there will always be a different element involved when it comes to men and women (1 Timothy 5:2). It’s not appropriate for a man or woman to be close with someone else or spending one-on-one time with someone who is not their spouse or significant other. For as Ephesians 5:3 states, “But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality.”
When you meet God’s choice for you, you will both understand this and joyfully change your interactions with others so you can show the proper respect for your relationship with each other.
3. God Will Use the Barriers as Bridges to Bring You Closer
Rather than sparing you of problems when you meet God’s choice for you, the Lord will use those problem to enhance your connection with this person.
Just because you go through storms together does not mean Jesus is not with you. For as Mark 4:37-38 tells us about the disciples who were caught in a storm, “And a great windstorm arose, and the waves were breaking into the boat, so that the boat was already filling. But [Jesus] was in the stern, asleep on the cushion.”
God’s presence in your relationship will not equate to calm waters. However, if God really does want you two to get married, he will empower you both to make it through the trials you face when you call upon Jesus for help. For as Mark 4:39-40 explains, “And he awoke and rebuked the wind and said to the sea, ‘Peace! Be still!’ And the wind ceased, and there was a great calm. He said to them, ‘Why are you so afraid? Have you still no faith?’”
If a problem splits you two up, this was not God’s choice for you. When God wants you and this person together, you will both put in the needed effort to work it out and grow together.
4. God Will Make Your Two Paths Into One
Most Christians know the importance of being equally yoked spiritually (2 Corinthians 6:14). However, two people can both be strong Christians who are glorifying God and yet still not be meant for each other.
When you meet the one God wants you to marry, practical decisions in life will also coincide to some degree. Yes, every couple needs to compromise. But if you want completely different things in life and neither of you are willing to budge, this probably means you are not meant to be.
Genesis 2:24, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”
5. All Doubts About Marrying This Person Will Vanish When You Meet His Choice for You
I’m not saying you will instantly know you should marry this person when you first meet them. Rather, I’m saying that when God is really leading you to marry someone, he will make this very clear to you at the right time. You can date someone you are unsure of because dating is meant to help you get your questions answered. Buy you should never marry someone that you still have doubts about.
When you meet God’s choice for you, you will be able to agree with Psalm 118:23, “This is the Lord’s doing; it is marvelous in our eyes.”
