According to the Scriptures, why is premarital sex so bad? Why would God give you a really strong sex drive if you can’t use it? If you really love a woman but you’re not married yet, what’s the big deal? And if so many other guys are having sex before marriage and it doesn’t seem to be negatively affecting them, why should you wait?
While the Bible tells all Christians, women included, not to have premarital sex, in this article, I will take biblical principles and help men, specifically, realize why they should never have premarital sex.
1. A Man Should Never Have Sex Before Marriage Because the Bible Says We Always Reap What We Sow
In the points ahead, we’ll discuss the specific negative things that happen to a man when he has premarital sex with a woman. But first, we need to highlight the general biblical principle that we can never get away with disobeying God’s design. Galatians 6:7-8 promises:
Do not be deceived: God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that will he also reap. For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life.”
When you eat too much, you get fat. When you drink too much alcohol, you act like a fool. When you get into debt, you lose your financial freedom. In other words, we always reap what we sow. And this reality doesn’t change when it comes to premarital sex.
God designed sex as a beautiful experience that bonds a husband and wife. It is an opportunity for them to enjoy their love for each other. When we use this gift in the wrong way, chaos always happens.
Men often try to trick themselves by saying things like, “Sure, it’s a sin, but it’s not that bad of a sin. Everyone does it. God will forgive me. I can have sex before marriage, and it doesn’t affect me that badly.” But notice again what Galatians 6:7 states, “Do not be deceived: God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that will he also reap.”
When you lie to yourself about the consequences of premarital sex, the only person you are fooling is yourself. God doesn’t play our games. We always reap what we sow. Most men shake their fists at God because their lives are miserable. But at the same time, they are completely ignoring what God has commanded in his word.
If you want God’s favor, you must follow God’s will. 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5, “It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control your own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the pagans, who do not know God . . .”
Don’t be a fool like most men are. They ignore God’s laws about premarital sex and then complain about how miserable they are. As Proverbs 19:3 states, “When a man’s folly brings his way to ruin, his heart rages against the Lord.”
2. A Man Should Never Have Sex Before Marriage Because It Will Bond You to the Wrong Woman
1 Peter 5:8, “Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.” The opposite of a sober mind is a lustful mind. A man intoxicated with lust is a sitting duck for Satan’s attacks.
The first way Satan attacked a man was through a woman (1 Timothy 2:13-14). While Adam tried to blame the woman for his own sins (Genesis 3:12), God wasn’t hearing it. Even though Satan tempted Adam through Eve, God still held Adam responsible for his own sins (Genesis 3:17-19).
All sin, but especially sexual sin, warps our minds and tempts us to ruin our own lives. One of the easiest ways to see this is by looking at the obvious facts of how sex ends up bonding you with the wrong woman.
Once you’re married, you’re married to the person God wants you to stay married to. But before marriage, it is right to say that God doesn’t want you to marry certain women; in foolishness, however, many men ignore God, marry a toxic woman, and a big contributing factor is that they couldn’t see clearly because of the sexual sin clouding their judgment.
For example, David and Bathsheba were never supposed to happen. God redeemed them, and God can redeem you, too, no matter how badly you mess up. But when you look at the life of David, almost all of the misery he experienced later in life was because of that one sexual sin with Bathsheba.
3. A Man Should Never Have Sex Before Marriage Because It Will Break Your Bond with the Right Woman
Proverbs 16:7, “When a man’s ways please the Lord, he makes even his enemies to be at peace with him.” Romans 8:7-8, “For the mind that is set on the flesh is hostile to God, for it does not submit to God’s law; indeed, it cannot. Those who are in the flesh cannot please God.” Galatians 5:19, “Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality . . .” The point is clear. Pleasing your flesh with sexual sin causes you to displease God and lose his favor. How?
Not only can premarital sex get you hooked on the wrong woman, but it can also mess up something great you could have had with the right woman. When a man and woman have sex before marriage, it’s like putting too much weight on a foundation that isn’t properly built yet. Things begin to crumble when you introduce sexual sin into a relationship that was thriving for the Lord.
Again, God’s grace can heal and restore. But many times, the damage to the relationship is beyond repair. If you really value a woman and you want a future with her, the last thing you should do is have sex with her before marriage.
4. A Man Should Never Have Sex Before Marriage Because It Will Bond You to the Right Woman in the Wrong Way
Let’s say you have actually met the woman God wants you with, but you two have premarital sex. That doesn’t mean you have forever ruined your relationship. Again, God’s grace truly is sufficient. That is not an excuse to sin, but rather it is the hope we all need. None of us is perfect. Without his grace, none of us would have anything good.
And yet, we still reap what we sow to some degree. Therefore, in the best-case scenario, premarital sex will bond you to the right woman in the wrong way and at the wrong time. This will always lead to problems that could have been avoided. You will have to work through issues you could have never experienced.
So no matter what, whether you are with the right woman or the wrong woman, the Bible makes it clear that a man should never have premarital sex. Wait for God’s best! He wants you to be able to enjoy sex in marriage.
As Proverbs 5:18-19 states, “Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth, a lovely deer, a graceful doe. Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight; be intoxicated always in her love.”
Click Here to Watch My Free Course: 30 Days of Sanctifying Your Sexuality
