4 Conflicts that Mean You’ve Met Your Future Husband

When you think about the man of your dreams, you don’t think about conflict. And yet, if you’re called to marriage, while God will give you a man who satisfies your longings and desires for a husband, he will not give you a man with whom you will never have any problems.

In fact, some conflicts are good signs. Here are 4 types of conflicts you should have when you finally meet the right man God wants you to marry one day.

1. When You Meet the Man God Wants You to Marry, You Will Experience the Curse on Eve

In Genesis 2, we are given a clear picture of a loving, complementarian partnership between Adam and Eve. However, after Adam and Eve sinned, God said to Eve in Genesis 3:16, “Your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you.”

This was not God commanding the man to rule over the woman, nor the woman to want to rule over the man. Rather, God was describing what would now happen because of the sin that had entered their hearts.

Now, because of the fall and the inherited sin nature we all receive from Adam and Eve, there is always conflict between every man and every woman in relationships with each other. Without exception! Of course, depending on the individuals, the curse will manifest in different ways. For some, the man will be passive and the woman dominant. For others, the man will be dominant and the woman will be devalued. And in most cases, at some point, there is a twisted form of both, depending on the situation.

Thus, when you meet the man God has for you, you two will be forced to face this unpleasant reality caused by human sin. If it feels like there is never a conflict here between you and a man, that is actually a bad sign because it means someone is wearing a false mask. The only way to properly deal with relationship sins is to face them head-on, repent, and seek God’s grace so the man and woman can act as Adam and Eve were meant to be in Genesis 2.

In the New Testament, we are taught that the gospel is the only antidote to the effects of the fall. Through Jesus, husbands can love sacrificially and wives can willfully submit without there being a power struggle.

When you meet the man God has for you, you two will need to acknowledge this conflict so you can then experience the freedom and healing Christ provides in the gospel (1 Peter 3:7).

2. When You Meet the Man God Wants You to Marry, You Should Have Conflicts that Prove You Feel Free to Be Feminine Around Him

While our modern society hates to acknowledge this fact, Scripture is clear that men and women are different (Genesis 1:27). Very different!

Of course, not all women are the same. Some women like traditionally feminine things, while others may prefer things traditionally considered more masculine. So while many women will want to do different things than many men, that’s not the only type of conflict I’m referring to, although that is often a real conflict. Rather, I’m also referring to the different desires men and women often have in their hearts. Generally speaking, not always, but generally:

• Wives often want more communication than many guys will naturally offer
• Husbands tend to want more sexual experiences than many wives naturally offer
• Wives will often value things in the home more than men do; thus, she will want to spend more time and energy making improvements there
• Husband will often be focused on things outside the home; thus, he will want to spend more time and energy making improvements there

While marriage is obviously different from dating, before you become husband and wife, the expression of these conflicts arising from differing female and male desires will manifest somehow. And that’s good, because before you marry someone, you want to see how willing they are to work through conflicts that always occur when a man and woman are being honest about their desires.

A man and woman simply aren’t always going to value the same things. But when they truly love each other, they find ways to compromise and sacrifice for each other.

3. When You Meet the Man God Wants You to Marry, You Should Experience Sexual Conflicts that Prove It’s Time to Get Married

While a man and woman should not be engaging in sexual activity before marriage, they should actually be experiencing sexual tension that is difficult to resist. In marriage, sex is a command, not an option (1 Corinthians 7:1-5). While the husband and wife should obviously be considerate of each other’s desires, never demanding something that disrespects the other, it is important that you choose to marry someone with whom you are sexually aligned (Proverbs 5:18-19).

In other words, you need to want to have sex with the person you choose to marry. Thus, while it will be a difficult conflict when dating, there should be a sexual conflict. It should be hard to resist sexual activity with the person you are going to marry, particularly the closer you get to marriage.

That’s one reason dating and engagement should not be excessively long. Sexual sin always occurs when the couple delays marriage for too long.

4. When You Meet the Man God Wants You to Marry, You Will Experience Satan’s Opposition

You know you’re on the right road when Satan is attacking you (2 Timothy 3:12).

Of course, you don’t want to assume a problem-filled relationship is actually what God wants for you because you think it’s all Satan. The overall thrust of a relationship should not be problem after problem.

And yet, whenever you are doing things that please the Lord, you can count on Satan opposing you (Ephesians 6:12), including when you meet the man God wants you to marry one day.

Here’s a related article called 5 Types of Guys Sent By Satan to Waste Your Time.