Here are 4 signs that usually mean God is telling you not to trust someone with your heart.
1. If This Person Has Shown Evidence of Being Judgmental, You Should Not Trust Them with Your Heart
From the start, we need to make sure we are being realistic. No one is perfect. We all struggle with judgement at certain times. However, there is a difference between being judgmental at times but then confessing this sin, apologizing to the person you hurt, and repenting compared to someone who is continually judgmental and thinks they are better than everyone.
Proverbs 4:23 (NIV) famously states, “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” It would be a misapplication to use this verse as justification to never open up to other people. This verse does not mean we must stay guarded towards everyone at all times. Rather, this means we need to be careful who we open our hearts up to.
If someone is judgmental and quick to use information to exalt themselves over others, be careful in sharing personal information with this person.
2. If This Person Loses Self-Control When They Are Offended and Uses Any Means Necessary to Win an Argument, You Should Not Trust Them with Your Heart
Unfortunately, you probably won’t know this about someone until it’s too late. You may share personal information, deep desires, past struggles, or other intimate details about yourself with someone because they have shown themself trustworthy. However, sometimes when a person gets offended, they lose their mind and lash out. It’s then where they will remember what you told them and throw it back into your face.
One way to try to avoid this is to open up to someone in a gradual way, testing them more and more rather than just opening up all at once. By seeing how they handle your heart over a consistent period of time, you can get a better sense if they can really be trusted with the deepest information about you.
Lastly, if they do use information against you, give them a chance to repent. Sometimes we say things we really don’t mean in the heat of an argument. But if they don’t repent or they keep doing this or they go public in an irreversible way, this is sign you should never open your heart to them again unless there is a radical change at some point in the future.
Proverbs 26:4 states, “Answer not a fool according to his folly, lest you be like him yourself.”
3. If This Person Is Not Trusting You with Their Heart, You Should Not Trust Them with Your Heart
Opening up is a sign of investment. You usually only do it when you want someone to be in your life for a long time. If someone is not opening up to you, it could mean they are not planning on staying in your life very long. Thus, you should guard your heart around them.
It’s not always possible for two people to open up at the same time and to the same level. Sometimes one is more guarded or been hurt in the past, so they will need the other person to open up more at first to show them it’s safe to also open up.
However, at other times, you will try to open up, hoping this person will open up to you too, but no matter what you try they just won’t. If this happens to you, it’s wise to assume you should not keep opening up more and more.
For a relationship to be healthy, it needs to be mutual. Each person should be opening up to the same level, otherwise one person will feel more attached than the other, usually resulting in getting hurt.
Trust your heart with someone who can be defined by Proverbs 18:24, “A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.”
4. If This Person Is Not Walking with the Lord, You Should Not Trust Them with Your Heart
In truth, no one is fully trustworthy except God alone (Mark 10:18). So I’m not saying someone who walks with God will always be trustworthy. Rather, the point here is that God will correct this person when they go astray. So if they have a relationship with Jesus, you are not trusting this person but you are trusting Jesus to help this person.
God alone will keep someone on the straight and narrow path (Proverbs 3:5-6). Even if a non-Christian seems to be a moral and kind person, you should not trust them with your heart because they won’t let Jesus help them. And even if someone is a Christian and has some good qualities but they are currently backsliding and not walking with the Lord like they once did, you should not trust them with your heart.
Thus, while an imperfect person will make mistakes with your heart, if they have the Holy Spirit, they will be convicted and want to repent. They will understand that you are imperfect and when you make mistakes with their heart, they will forgive you as you have forgiven them.
But if someone does not know the grace of Jesus Christ, they can never have this type of grace-based relationship with you. You should not trust them with your heart.
Related Article: 4 Signs God Is Opening Your Heart More to Someone
