If you want to be married one day, is it possible that this is being delayed because your connection with God is not strong enough? Yes. This is possible.
Certainly not everyone who wants to be married is still single because they are too disconnected from God. So don’t automatically assume this is your issue. But if this is your problem, you will only be blessed with a relationship once you reestablish your walk with God.
Therefore, here are 4 signs that can help you know if this applies to you.
1. If a Relationship Would Destroy You Because You Stress Out So Much When You Like Someone
Humans are constantly begging God to give them what God knows will destroy them. Like a loving parent who knows more than their young child, God withholds certain blessings until his children are mature enough to use them safely.
Proverbs 19:14 states, “House and wealth are inherited from fathers, but a prudent wife is from the Lord.” And Proverbs 20:21 (NIV) states, “An inheritance claimed too soon will not be blessed at the end.” If a godly spouse is an inheritance from God, and if God withholds an inheritance when someone is too immature to handle it, in love God will not bless you with a spouse if you are too immature to manage this blessing wisely.
God’s presence matures us. If you are stressed when you like someone or when someone likes you, the solution is not avoidance. Rather, the solution is to find your security in God. God is the one your heart needs most. And when you are fulfilled in Christ, you are then free to enjoy human love in a balanced, healthy way.
2. If You Believe You Can Only Be Happy Once You Are Married
It’s been amazing to view the thousands of comments on the AGW YouTube channel over the years. You get to see people’s perspective from very different points of views and from very different seasons of life.
Some people comment in anger, “Sure, easy for you to say Mark. You’re married. How dare you lecture me about being happy in singleness.” And then there are the people in a very different place, “I wish I never got married. My spouse is a narcissistic, toxic person. Stay single people. Marriage is terrible.” Many single people long for marriage, and many married people long to be single. What’s my point?
Nothing in this world satisfies the human heart except Jesus Christ. Whatever season you are in, you will always think the other season is better if Jesus is not at the center of your life. Stop the cycle of always chasing your tail. Whether you are single or married, you will never have joy unless you have a rich connection with God himself through the gospel of Jesus Christ (Psalm 27:4, Psalm 16:2, John 4:14, John 10:10).
3. If You Have Created a Fantasy About the Opposite Sex that No Real Person Could Fulfill
Some men imagine having wild sex with their future wife every night, seven days a week. Some women imagine having deep, emotional conversations with their future husband all day, every day. Many men watch porn and then project these unrealistic expectations onto marriage. And many women watch social media and begin to think a filtered, seven second clip of a man and woman acting like their life is perfect is actually how their future marriage should be all the time.
Sure, a husband and wife should have great sex together. And yes, a husband and wife should be able to have amazing emotional conversations that last deep into the night. But these are moments, not all of life. If you think every second of marriage should be lived at the peak of romance, you are expecting a fantasy to become your reality, and that’s just not going to happen.
God alone will sober our minds and hearts so that we can let go of these man-made ideas of romance and we can learn to love another imperfect person throughout our imperfect lives. The beauty of marriage is not just the mountaintop experiences. The beauty of marriage is that you have a partner (1 Peter 3:7) with you through the whole journey, through the peaks and the valleys.
4. If Your Motive for Marriage Is Not Centered on God’s Glory
Christians often make the mistake of trying to glorify God so that he will then bless them with a great relationship. But this is not really the best way to proceed forward. Rather than trying to use glorifying God as a means to get a relationship, God wants you to use your relationships to bring him glory. You should not seek to honor God so he will give you a great relationship. You should seek to have a great relationship as a way of bringing honor to God.
God made marriage to bring glory to himself. It pleases him when a man and woman reflect the love he has for his people (Ephesians 5:1-2, 21-33). Things work best when they are used in the way that they were designed to be used. If God designed relationships to bring himself glory, relationships will work best when we seek to use them for this purpose.