We need to define our terms before we can really dive into this content. From the research I’ve done, there doesn’t seem to be a consistent definition for the term “kingdom spouse” or “kingdom marriage.” So when I use these phrases, I’m not talking about soul mates, twin flames, or anything else like that.
Rather, by the term “kingdom spouse,” I’m referring to that person God has set apart for you who is going to be your partner in advancing God’s kingdom. For example, in 1 Peter 3:7 (NLT) it says to husbands about their wives, “. . . she is your equal partner in God’s gift of new life.”
By the term “spiritual warfare,” I’m not saying Satan can make you do anything. Rather, throughout the Bible, we are taught that there are spiritual forces of evil controlling unbelievers (Ephesians 2:2), using lies to trick people into doing the devil’s will (2 Timothy 2:25-26), and appealing to our sinful flesh so we sin (Luke 22:40, James 1:14-15).
With that said, here are 3 signs spiritual warfare is keeping you from your kingdom spouse.
1. If You Have Become Obsessed with a Prophetic Experience About Your Kingdom Spouse, This Could Be Spiritual Warfare Keeping You from This Person
As I was doing research for this article, I came across a lot of videos of people proclaiming that “someone somewhere was about to meet their kingdom spouse” or that “someone out there was going to have an important conversation soon with their kingdom husband or wife” or that if “someone somewhere just kept waiting, God was about to give them their kingdom marriage.”
I find these types of videos to be unbiblical. They remind me of the fortuneteller, saying enough general things to a big enough group of people that someone listening is bound to feel like that fortuneteller is revealing their future to them. Additionally, the only way to confirm if these types of prophesies are real is to see if they happen (Deuteronomy 18:22).
The reasons Satan loves this type of thing is because he will tempt you to try to create the prophesy rather than seeing if it occurs. In the Bible, when God really gave a prophesy through a prophet, no one had to make that prophesy come true. God always fulfills God’s word (Isaiah 55:11).
So when it comes to prophesying about your kingdom spouse, the temptation is to do things to make this “prophesy” come true yourself. And in some cases, people just wait and wait and wait because they can’t accept this prophesy wasn’t true. Thus, Satan can keep you from your kingdom spouse by getting you to wait for a prophesy that is never going to happen.
So my advice is to avoid wasting any emotional energy on someone’s prophesy. If it’s truly God speaking, he will make it happen. If it’s not God, it won’t happen. God knows the future. If you know God, that’s all you need to know. Walk with him. Be wise. Use your mind that he gave you. Apply biblical principles and you will see biblical signs on whether or not someone is or is not your kingdom spouse.
2. Spiritual Warfare Is Keeping You from Your Kingdom Spouse If You Have Been Convinced It’s Your Future Spouse’s Job to Find You
One thing that really bothers me is when Christians over simply the biblical advice to wait on God and then misapply this to finding your future spouse. The common advice is, “Just wait on God. He will bring your kingdom spouse into your life.”
Of course, in a way that is true. But it’s stated in such a way that you come to believe “all you need to do is just wait.” But think about this logically. What if your future spouse is following the same advice as you are following? Wouldn’t you both then be waiting for the other person to come into the other person’s life? If everyone is waiting, who is going to be doing the finding?
Satan wants us to be self-centered and think that it’s the other person’s job to find us, to come into our life, to hear from God and show up at our doorstep. While many dream about “the one” just showing up someday, no one seems to be dreaming about being that person who does show up in someone else’s life.
So yes, wait on God to bring the results only he can create. Only God can create a kingdom marriage (Proverbs 18:22, Proverbs 19:14). But God will use both of your actions to help you both meet and marry each other.
3. Spiritual Warfare Is Keeping You from Your Kingdom Spouse If You Have Become Overly Focused on Finding Your Kingdom Spouse
All sin is when we take a good thing and use it in a bad way. Idolatry is when we love the gift more than the Giver. And no one turns from God because God blessed them too much. Rather, people turn from God when they are so obsessed with a particular blessing that they get mad at God when he doesn’t give it to them. Satan knows all this, so he will tempt you to get too focused on your future kingdom marriage.
When we get too fixated on just one part of life, we end up missing the whole point to life – which is God’s glory (Matthew 6:9-10). Your kingdom marriage is supposed to be all about God’s kingdom, not just your desire for romantic love. Ironically, when we get too focused on finding our kingdom spouse, we are literally missing out on advancing God’s kingdom.
And do you know where you will find a kingdom minded person? You will find them being about God’s business (Luke 2:49). If you are so focused on finding your kingdom spouse that you are neglecting God’s kingdom, you are actually going to miss out on ever finding your kingdom spouse.
As Jesus said in Matthew 6:33, “But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.”