Proverbs 31:12
Here are 5 things that will happen in your life when God is saying it’s the right time for you to be in a relationship.
1. When You Can Help Someone More Than You Will Hurt Them
We all want to be perfect. None of us want to get into a relationship and then hurt someone. But the fact is, it’s not a matter of “if” you will hurt someone in a relationship, but rather it’s a matter of “how bad” you will hurt them.
Now, I’m not saying everyone is doomed to devastate the other person they are in a relationship with. I’m just pointing out the biblical truth that all humans are sinful (Romans 3:23, 1 John 1:8, Psalm 51:5). Sinful people do sinful things. And sin always hurts not only ourselves but other people too.
So you won’t be ready for a relationship once you are ready to be perfect all the time and never hurt someone. Rather, you will be ready for a godly relationship when you are mature and healed enough to do someone more good than harm.
Yes, you will say the wrong thing, you will have a bad day, and you will inevitably need to apologize to the person you are in a relationship with. But you can also be matured and sanctified in the Lord to where those sinful moments are far less than the healthy, uplifting, life-giving moments.
As it says in Proverbs 31:12, “She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life.”
2. When You Are Ready to Love Without Idolizing
The better a blessing is, the more likely it is that we misuse it. This is why God waits to give us the most powerful blessings until we are mature enough to handle them with care.
The reason we are so prone to idolize relationships is because they are the next best thing to God himself. Compared to the rest of God’s creation, humans bear the image of God the most (Genesis 1:27). And so when we are lacking a rich, fulfilling relationship in Jesus, we turn to the thing that most resembles Jesus – other humans.
But humans are simply image bearers, not God himself. We must always remember that the craving we have for a human companion is really an echo of our deeper need for companionship with Jesus. A godly relationship will enhance your walk with God, not replace it.
You don’t need to avoid relationships in fear of worshiping a person over God. Rather, you need to learn how to use your relationships with people to bring more worship to God (Hebrews 10:24-25, Galatians 6:2, Proverbs 27:17).
3. When You Can Grow in Intimacy Without Committing Sexual Sin
It’s actually a red flag if you have zero sexual desire for someone you are in a romantic relationship with. God made a man and woman who love each other to want to have sex with each other in marriage.
The problem occurs when we try to enjoy this gift outside of God’s design (1 Corinthians 7:2). If you lack self-control so badly that you can’t date someone without committing sexual sins with them, you are not ready for dating (1 Corinthians 6:18).
You are ready to be in a relationship once you can allow the fire of sexual desire to grow without getting burned (Song of Solomon 8:4). Dating should be a relatively short period in a relationship where the couple is seeking confirmation from God that they should get married or not. They should then either break up or get married, otherwise they will commit sexual sin together.
4. When You Are Prepared to Commit and Move Into Marriage If God Was to Reveal the Right Person
If you started dating someone and then you both felt absolutely convinced that God was truly leading you two to get married, but there was some practical or personal reason you felt you could not get married, this is a sign you should not be dating at all.
I’m not saying you should marry the person you want to date. I am saying, however, that there is no biblical justification to date when you know there is zero chance you will marry the person you are dating.
Dating is not in the Bible. Marriage is (Genesis 2:24). It’s not unbiblical to use dating to lead to a marriage. But it is unbiblical to replace marriage with dating. The only example of a healthy long-term relationship in the Bible is in the context of marriage.
You are ready to be in a relationship once you are prepared to get married if God was to bring the right person along.
(For more on this: What Does the Bible Say About Dating?)
5. When God Is Highlighting Someone Specific to You
It sounds silly to say, but a relationship obviously needs two people. So not only do you need to have the moral and relationship maturity to thrive in a relationship, God also needs to reveal a specific person to you who also possesses these qualities (Proverbs 18:22, Proverbs 19:14).
Thus, when you are mature enough in your heart and God is highlighting someone to you that is also mature enough in their heart and ready to be in a relationship with you, this is a good sign God is saying you are ready to be in a relationship
But how will you know when God is highlighting someone to you? I answer that question in this article: 5 Signs God Is Highlighting Someone to You.
