Here are 4 signs God is not blessing a relationship.
1. If the Relationship Is Producing Unrepentant Sin, This Is a Sign God Is Not in It
I used the phrase “unrepentant sin” because God can be in a relationship even if that couple has sinned together. When you put two imperfect people together, it is not logical that they will produce a perfect relationship together. No Christian is perfect and without sin, which is why we all need Christ.
However, a true Christian will repent of the sins he or she commits. Therefore, if sins do occur in the relationship and the couple is getting stuck in those sins and not repenting with actions, then this is a sign God is not actually in this relationship.
When God is working in someone’s life, that person will still sin at times, but they will always repent and turn back to God. This same principle is true of couples as well. For as 1 John 1:8-9 states:
If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”
2. If This Relationship Is Pulling You Away from Your Christian Community, This Is a Sign God Is Not in It
When a couple is forming a healthy bond with each other that will lead to a godly Christian marriage one day, it is natural for that couple to spend less time with other people and more time with each other. There are only so many hours in each day, therefore it is obvious that to form a new bond with someone you will need to spend less hours with other people.
So I’m not really talking about the hours you spend with other Christians. What I’m referring to is your connection and accountability with other Christians. One sign that someone is slipping into sin and slowly turning from God is when they begin to distance themselves from their Christian community. It is a classic sign that someone has entered into a bad relationship when they no longer attend church and become distant from their Christian friends and family.
This happens because when we are in sin we feel guilty and convicted around those people who are not living in sin, thus to avoid feeling bad about the sinful choices we know we are making, we often avoid those people who are living for Christ. Notice the strong line of division that Paul points out between people living in the light and people living in darkness as explained in 2 Corinthians 6:14, 17-18. It states:
Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness? . . . ‘Therefore go out from their midst, and be separate from them, says the Lord, and touch no unclean thing; then I will welcome you, and I will be a father to you, and you shall be sons and daughters to me, says the Lord Almighty.’”
3. If You Feel Further from Christ When You Are with This Person, This Is a Sign God Is Not in This Relationship
The goal as a Christian is not to use God to bless everything in our lives. Rather, we want everything in our lives to bless our walk with God. God does not want to be on the outside looking in as you ask him to bless everything else in your life. God wants to be the center of your life and he wants us to use everything in our lives for his glory.
If anything is hindering your walk with God and making you feel distant from him, this is not what God wants from you. The reason God wants most Christians to get married is because for most Christians, a spouse will help their walk with God. According to 1 Corinthians 7, when singleness will actually help someone serve God better than marriage would for the specific person, that is a sign God wants that person to pursue singleness.
But again, for most Christians marriage will better equip them to serve God. But not all relationships will help you do this. You have to be with the person God wants you with for your future marriage to benefit your walk with the Lord.
So when you are with this person, if you feel more distant from God than you do when you are not with this person, this is a sign God is not blessing this relationship.
4. If a Healthy Vision of a Future with This Person Never Comes, This Is Usually a Sign God Is Not in This Relationship
I want to be careful here because I am not saying that if you can imagine being with someone this is a sign God wants you with that person. Our imaginations can play all kinds of tricks on us, so we can’t just follow our desires and pretend like this is God talking to us.
With that said, while imaging a future with someone is not a sign God will put you two together, it is a sign God does not want you with this person if you are never able to see yourself with this person. Sometimes, even when everything on paper seems right, there is just something inside of you that knows you could never be in a romantic relationship with him or her.
When a healthy season of time goes by and no matter what you try, a healthy vision for your future with this person never comes, this is a sign God is just not in that relationship.