Here are 3 reason God is allowing you to feel so confused when it comes to relationships.
1. God Could Be Using This Confusion to Help You Learn to Hear His Voice More Deeply
Just as we are born as babies and then slowly grow and mature into adults with time, there is also a process of growth that occurs for every Christian. Once we are born again through repenting of sin, putting our faith in Jesus Christ, and depending on God’s grace alone for our salvation, we are given all of Christ’s righteousness right at the moment of our conversation.
But that does not mean we know how to use all the gifts we’ve been given. For as Jesus said in John 14:26-27, “But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, he will teach you all things and bring to your remembrance all that I have said to you.” Notice here that the Holy Spirit doesn’t just give us all the answers like a computer downloading information. Rather, there is a teaching process by the Holy Spirit.
God puts us through different tests and trials in life as a way of maturing us. When we are confused about relationships, this confusion should cause us to press into God even more than we were in the past. So God could be allowing you to feel confusion in life when it comes to relationship future because God wants to train you to hear his voice even better than you currently do.
2. God Could Be Allowing You to Feel Confused to Help You Step Out in Faith and Just Trust Him
While it is clear that God desires to teach us and reveal important information to us, it is also clear that God has never promised to tell us everything we want to know when we want to know it. If God always took away every ounce of confusion, this would completely remove our need for faith in him. Isaiah 40:29-31 states:
He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might he increases strength. Even youths shall faint and be weary, and young men shall fall exhausted; but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.”
Notice here that God does not prevent us from becoming “faint,” “weary,” and “exhausted.” But God does promise that if we “wait” for him, which is an act of faith, God will give us “strength” so we will be able to overcome that weariness.
Likewise, the same is true when it comes be being confused about relationships. God never promised us that we would not be confused. But he has promised us that if we put our faith in him, God will bring us through this confusion one way or the other.
Sometimes the confusion will remain but God will call you to step out in faith, not knowing the exact results of what will or won’t happen in a relationship once you choose to act. If we allow our confusion to keep us frozen in fear, we will never take advantage of our opportunities to have faith in God.
3. God Could Be Allowing You to Feel Confused So You Will Sense How Different It Is Once You Do Meet The One God Wants You to Marry
Sometimes you won’t be able to appreciate the career God is going to give you until you realize how much you dislike other lines of work. Sometimes you aren’t able to know how healthy your church actually is unless God lets you be a part of an unhealthy church first. My point is, sometimes God lets us go through bad things so we will know how to better identity the good things he is sending us in life.
This same principle is true when it comes to relationships. It is very rare for Christians to meet their spouse at a young age, to date only one person, and to have minimal confusion when it comes to relationships. Usually there is a long and twisting road that leads a Christian man and woman together. Along the way, God will bring us through some very confusing relationship experiences. But these confusing relationship experiences will help you realize how different your relationship will be once you do meet the person God wants you to marry.
Don’t get me wrong, every relationship has seasons of confusion in it, but one sign that the relationship is not meant to continue is when the confusion remains. For as 1 Corinthians 14:33 states, “For God is not a God of confusion but of peace.” This verse refers to having an orderly church gathering, but the principle remains. If you are deeply confused and that cloud of darkness is not leaving the relationship, this is a sign God does not want you in that relationship situation any longer.
So when you do get into the right relationship, God will confirm this to you by reminding you of how different this is compared to all the confusion and doubt you felt in previous relationships.