Here are 3 signs that God is preparing you for an equally yoked relationship.
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1. If God Is Teaching You the Difference Between True Biblical Requirements for a Union Compared to Personal Desires for a Union, This Is a Good Sign God Is Preparing You for an Equally Yoked Relationship
You can easily sabotage an equally yoked relationship in two ways. The most obvious way is to get into a relationship with someone that is not a true Christian. I’ll unpack what this means in a more nuanced way in point 2 of this article; but at its core, when talking about relationships, being equally yoked means a Christian is with a Christian or an unbeliever is with an unbeliever. Being unequally yoked is when a believer and an unbeliever form a bond together.
What is less easy to see is that you can actually hinder yourself from getting into an equally yoked relationship by having standards that go beyond what the Bible actually says are needed to form an equally yoked relationship.
For example, if you start thinking that to be equally yoked with someone you need to marry someone with the exact same spiritual gift as you, then you are going beyond what the Bible requires. If you are waiting for someone who only reads from the same Bible translation as you, you are going beyond what the Bible says is required to have an equally yoked relationship. If you are looking for someone with the same hobbies as you, you are going beyond what the Scriptures point out for true believers who are considering marriage. Notice that 2 Corinthians 6:14-16 (NIV) keeps things at a pretty high level. In other words, it talks about salvation and not lesser requirements:
Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? Or what does a believer have in common with an unbeliever? What agreement is there between the temple of God and idols? For we are the temple of the living God.”
“Righteousness and wickedness,” “light and darkness,” “Christ and Satan,” “believer and unbeliever,” and “the temple of God and idols.” These are salvation issues, not personal preferences. It’s okay if you would like to date and then marry someone who has similar opinions, interests, and ministry aspirations as you. But to be equally yoked, you do not need to be the same in all areas of your life. What you really need to be equally yoked is to be genuinely saved by Jesus and to then join with someone else who is also a genuine Christian.
2. If God Is Maturing You to Produce the Fruits of the Spirit and Helping You See the Fruits of the Spirit in Other People, This Is a Good Sign God Is Preparing You for an Equally Yoked Relationship
So if being equally yoked means two genuine Christians are together, how will one know if they or someone else is a genuine Christians?
The Bible is very clear that salvation comes through Jesus Christ alone. So the first step is to believe this core truth and to also find someone who also believes that Jesus alone is the true savior. But according to James 2:19, even the demons believe the truth about God, but obviously the demons are not saved. As James 2:18-24 (NIV) explains:
Show me your faith without deeds, and I will show you my faith by my deeds. You believe that there is one God. Good! Even the demons believe that—and shudder.
You foolish person, do you want evidence that faith without deeds is useless? Was not our father Abraham considered righteous for what he did when he offered his son Isaac on the altar? You see that his faith and his actions were working together, and his faith was made complete by what he did. And the scripture was fulfilled that says, ‘Abraham believed God, and it was credited to him as righteousness,’ and he was called God’s friend. You see that a person is considered righteous by what they do and not by faith alone.”
Now, before we take this passage out of context and start thinking that we are saved by what we do, let’s also look at Ephesians 2:8-10. It states:
For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast. For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.”
The point is, we are saved by grace and through faith alone. But true faith and grace will never be alone. When you have true faith and have received true grace, you will truly live for Christ. Notice the flow found in verses 8-9 which lead to what is said in verse 10. Faith and grace cause us to produce good works. We are not saved by good works, but good works are the evidence that we are saved.
In the Bible, good works are also called “fruit.” In Galatians 5:22-24, they are called the fruits of the Spirit because those who have the Spirit in them will have the Spirit producing these good works in their life. It states:
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.”
If God is maturing you to produce these fruits in your life and helping you mature enough to see these fruits in other people’s lives, this is a great sign God is preparing you for an equally yoked relationship.
3. If God Is Teaching You How to Be Uncompromising on Tier 1 Issues and Wise About Compromising on Tier 2 and 3 Issues, This Is a Great Sign God Is Preparing You for an Equally Yoked Relationship
In life, we will have countless disagreements with other people. So it is important to have a nuanced view about disagreements. All disagreements should not be treated the same. I believe there are basically three main categories to consider. I talk a lot more about this in my courses, but in summary:
- A tier 1 issue is a matter of salvation. If someone gets a tier 1 issue wrong it means they are not a true believer.
- A tier 2 issues is an important issue but not a salvation issue. These issues affect your life and the way your church operates, but genuine Christians can disagree here and still call each other brothers and sisters in Christ.
- A tier 3 issue is a disagreement about something that does not directly affect your life in a huge way and does not affect the weekly operations of your church. Tier 3 issues are very common and happen all the time.
To be equally yoked, you have to find someone you do not have any tier 1 disagreements with. It’s wise to find someone where you also don’t have any tier 2 issues with, although it is not biblically forbidden to marry someone you have a tier 2 disagreement with. It’s just not the wisest thing to do most times, although in rare cases it is possible still. When it comes to tier 3 issues, you should develop the grace and kindness to disagree about these issues without it causing division.
As you can see, this is a complex topic, which is why I talk a lot more about this in my courses at AGW University. So if you are Christian single person who wants my help in preparing your heart, your mind, and your life in the best way possible to meet the one God has for you, I would love for you to join me at AGW University. There are also over 575 other members in the private Facebook group that you can also get to know and connect with. The deadline to enroll is less than a week away, so feel free to click here if you want to learn more about this unique opportunity.
