Philippians 3:13-15
Here are 4 possible reasons for why God is not letting your heart forget someone.
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1. God Won’t Let Your Heart Forget Someone If He Wants You and This Person to Get Back Together One Day
This is the least likely reasons God is allowing you to not forget someone, but it is certainly a possibility. The reason I say it is the least likely reason for why you can’t forget this person is because in most cases God will not call you to try to be with someone that you were already with; usually relationships end the second time in the exact same way that they ended the first time. It’s easy to remember a relationship in your past in a different way than it really was. But there is a reason why that relationship did not work out in the past, and most of the time that same reason would also cause you two not to work in the future too.
In rare instances, though, things really do change enough for a second try at a relationship to work. But again, things need to have truly changed somehow. One of you or both of you needs to have gone through a major transformation if you expect the relationship to be any different than it was the first time. It can happen. It does happen. But we also must accept that it does not happen often.
So pray that the Lord gives you a sober mind and a willing heart to obey him no matter what. As God said of David as recorded in Acts 13:22 (NIV), “I have found David son of Jesse, a man after my own heart; he will do everything I want him to do.”
David was a man after God’s own heart because he was willing to do whatever God wanted him to do. By his grace, may our Lord be able to say the same about us.
2. God Will Prevent You From Forgetting Someone If You Are Preventing Forgiveness to Occur First
When I’m using this phrase “forget someone in your heart,” I’m not talking about a literal forgetting where this person is actually erased from your memory. I’m talking about possessing the freedom in your heart where you are no longer emotionally attached, you are no longer hurt when you have thoughts of this person, and you are free from wanting to be with this person if you know God does not want you with them.
One of the keys to truly moving on in your heart is forgiveness. Forgetting and forgiveness are very connected themes throughout the Scriptures. In Isaiah 43:25, God said, “I, I am he who blots out your transgressions for my own sake, and I will not remember your sins.” In Hebrews 8:12, God also says, “For I will be merciful toward their iniquities, and I will remember their sins no more.” And in Jeremiah 31:34 he said, “For I will forgive their iniquity, and I will remember their sin no more.”
Just as God forgets the sins of those whom he forgives, so too will you be able to forget the sins of the people you forgive. Again, I’m not talking about information literally being erased from your memory. But when you forgive someone, you are actually freeing yourself because you are letting go of the hatred and hurt that is still connecting you to this person. But when you let that go and forgive someone, there is nothing left to connect you.
So to forget someone in your heart, you must first forgive them from your heart.
3. God Won’t Let Your Heart Forget Someone If You Need to Remember Important Lessons from That Relationship Experience
One of the reasons I don’t believe God will literally erase someone from your memory is because God teaches us through relationship experiences. If you literally forget everything that has happened in your past, you will also forget the valuable lessons God has taught you through those past experiences.
As the old saying goes, “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.” Maturity doesn’t come with age. Getting older doesn’t always mean you are getting wiser. Just because you sit in the classroom does not mean you are learning what the teacher is teaching. Likewise, if you are just trying to forget the past rather than learn from the past, you will not mature in the ways God intends for you to mature.
Certainly seek to forget someone in your heart in the sense that you don’t think of them often and you don’t feel emotionally tied to them anymore. But never allow yourself to actually forget what God has taught you through past experiences. For those who do not learn from the past are always doomed to repeat it. As David prayed in Psalm 25:4-5, which says:
Make me to know your ways, O Lord; teach me your paths. Lead me in your truth and teach me, for you are the God of my salvation; for you I wait all the day long.”
4. God May Not Be Allowing You to Forget Someone in Your Heart Because You Have Not Yet Chosen to Move Forward in Your Life
The mind thinks like the lungs breathe. If you stop breathing you are dead, and if you stop thinking you are also dead. I say that to point out the fact that you cannot really “not think.” In reality, you can only think about different things. So to forget someone in your heart and truly move on, you have to allow your heart to start thinking about other things. As Paul said in Philippians 3:13-15, which states:
But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. Let those of us who are mature think this way . . .”
Notice that “forgetting” here is linked to “straining forward.” God will often let you forget someone in your heart when you choose to follow the Lord forward in your life. We may think we have to wait for our feelings before we act. But in reality, oftentimes God is leading us to act first and then our feelings will follow our actions.
When it comes to relationships, God may help you forget someone in your heart when you follow him into the future he planned for you. By taking action steps in your life to move forward with the Lord towards the relationship he does have planned for you, you will also be helping yourself forget that person in the past that is not the one God has for you.
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