3 Signs God Is Saying, “Stop Chasing Human Love and Just Rest in Me”

1 John 4:20-21

Here are 3 signs God is saying, “Stop chasing love and just rest in me.”

1. If You Have Been Prioritizing Human Love Over God’s Love, the Lord Will Often Lead You Into a Season of Just Resting in Him

Oftentimes Christians are presented with a choice that God is not asking them to make. They end up saying to themselves, “I can choose God or a relationship.”

This is an unbiblical view of relationships. God did not make human love to be in competition to his love. Actually, God made human relationships to enhance our relationship with him. There is never a command in Scripture to love God instead of people. Yes, we must love God more than people. But when we truly do love God, the Bible says we will be expressing this love through our love for people:

If anyone says, ‘I love God,’ and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen. And this commandment we have from him: whoever loves God must also love his brother.” (1 John 4:20-21)

Remember, before sin came into the world, God said it was not good for Adam to be alone; thus, he made Eve so they could love each as they fully love the Lord together (Genesis 2:18).

God does want our hearts to experience the joy of being loved by another human and giving love to another human. You certainly do not need to choose God’s love or human love. Rather, we must choose God’s love over human love. God made us for both, but he did make us to need his love first and human love second (Mark 12:29-31).

If you need to reprioritize the order of your love, God will lead you to rest in him so you can love properly.

2. If You Keep Spooking Human Love Away By Pursuing It Too Forcefully, God May Tell You, “Just Rest in Me”

Sometimes the harder we try to find love, the further it runs away from us. At times, love can feel like a wild deer you come upon in the woods; as soon you move towards it, it runs away, never to be seen again.

When we don’t have what we need, we often ask too much from what we do have. In other words, when you aren’t satisfied in the love of God first and foremost, you will often ask too much from a person, pushing them away because you are putting too much pressure on them to fill you. Notice the flow in Psalm 42 of longing for love and it only being satisfied in the Lord:

  • Psalm 42:1-2, “As a deer pants for flowing streams, so pants my soul for you, O God. My soul thirsts for God, for the living God.”
  • Psalm 42:7-8, “Deep calls to deep at the roar of your waterfalls; all your breakers and your waves have gone over me. By day the Lord commands his steadfast love, and at night his song is with me, a prayer to the God of my life.”
  • Psalm 42:11, “Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation and my God.”

If you’ve been cast down because every time you try to get human love it seems you are even further away from getting it, oftentimes this means you should just rest in the Lord. Once you are filled with the love of God, you are then better equipped to pursue human love in a biblically balanced way.

3. If You’ve Been Trying to Force Something Because It’s Not Happening Naturally, God Will Often Lead You to Just Rest in Him

When God is leading you towards your future spouse, it will require effort, hard work, and endurance. Don’t think that a hard relationship automatically means it’s the wrong relationship.

However, there is a difference between trying hard compared to forcing something to happen that is just not God’s will. One way you will be able to know if you are forcing something to happen is by taking note of the effects that are occurring through the causes you are trying.

In other words, when a relationship is happening “naturally,” this doesn’t mean it will happen without effort. Rather, it means that when you try something, the intended reason for trying that will happen. If you try to pursue her, she will receive it. If you try to invite him to pursue you, he will receive it. If you try to talk through a problem, you will be able to talk through it and reconnect. The causes will produce the “natural” effects.

When the relationship is being forced, however, no matter what you try, the intended reason for trying will not occur. In other words, things just won’t work out. Pursuing her won’t work. Inviting him won’t work. Talking about your problems will just make the problems worse. When you’re in a cycle of forcing something to happen, it’s wise to just stop and rest in the Lord.

Yes, you will participate in a relationship coming to fruition. But in the end, if it’s really going to happen, God’s going to cause it to happen (Proverbs 16:9). Therefore, we must always be resting in the Lord. As Psalm 127:1-2 (NLT) explains:

Unless the Lord builds a house, the work of the builders is wasted. Unless the Lord protects a city, guarding it with sentries will do no good.It is useless for you to work so hard from early morning until late at night, anxiously working for food to eat; for God gives rest to his loved ones.”