There are basically two strong possibilities for why God isn’t removing your feelings. One, because he wants you and this person together. Or two, because there is something holding you back from moving on, even though God is leading you to move on.
In this article, I’ll give four specific examples that fall into one of these two categories. So you’ll need to see all four points before knowing if any of them relate to you.
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1. God Might Not Be Removing Your Feelings for Someone Because the Bible Says There Is a Season for Everything
Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 highlights the idea of seasonality:
For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven . . . a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted . . . a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance . . . a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; a time to seek, and a time to lose . . . a time to keep silence, and a time to speak . . .”
There is a rhythm to the human life, and this is true when it comes to relationships as well. Thus, it’s possible that God is not removing your feelings for someone because one day, you and this person will be together.
Sometimes your romantic feelings are like seeds already planted beneath the soil but not yet breaking through to develop fruit. One way you can know if this is happening to you is to look for progress. Movement forward is a great sign that the purpose to your feelings is so that you two will be together one day.
However, if your feelings are just stagnant and there is nothing happening between you and this person, there could be other possibilities for why God is not removing them. Points 3 and 4 of this article might help you find clarity.
2. God Might Not Be Removing Your Feelings Because the Bible Says to Forgive and (Sometimes) Reconcile
This point is for those of you who have feelings for someone with whom you were in a relationship at one point. Perhaps you two were in the talking phase and headed towards dating, but then there was a miscommunication that caused offenses to take place. Or maybe you two were an official couple, but then something happened that broke you two apart.
There are many Christians who are now married to someone whom they were separated from for a time when they were single. I say to highlight the fact that reconciliation is possible. If an offense took place between you and someone that you had romantic feelings for, the Bible is clear that you must forgive them if you are a true Christian. As Jesus said, “For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses” (Matthew 6:14-15).
However, you are not called to always reconcile with this person. To reconcile means to restore the relationship to what it was before the offense took place. In many cases, if something bad happens before marriage, this is a sign God does not want this man and woman to be in a romantic relationship. They should forgive, but not reconcile.
And yet, reconciliation is certainly possible through the power of the gospel (2 Corinthians 5:18). And this can be applied in a pre-marriage type of relationship as well. As Romans 12:18 states, “If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.”
If you and this person are hurt by each other but you also both want to reconcile, that could be why God is not removing your feelings.
3. God Might Not Be Removing Your Feelings Because the Bible Says He Respects Our Choices
Now I’ll be transitioning to those situations where God is not removing your feelings for someone while he is also not calling you two to be in a relationship with this person one day either.
The truth is, one reason God won’t remove your feelings for someone is because he has given us real human dignity. In other words, even when we make bad choices, God still allows us to make those choices. To deny us the choice would be to remove the authenticity of his created order for humans. For example, Scripture states:
- Deuteronomy 30:19, “I have set before you life and death . . . therefore choose life.”
- Galatians 6:7, “Do not be deceived: God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that will he also reap.”
- Proverbs 16:9, “The heart of man plans his way, but the LORD establishes his steps.”
Contrary to popular belief, our feelings are directly tied to our choices. For example, if you choose to withhold forgiveness, bitterness will keep you attached to this person. If you don’t choose to think about other things and you keep obsessively thinking about this one person, your feelings won’t ever dissipate. If you keep spending time around this person even though you know their presence is preventing you from healing and moving forward in life, you will remain stuck.
Therefore, God might want to remove your feelings for this person, but he also might be waiting for you to obey him. The path to mental freedom may involve external choices you need to choose to do.
4. God Might Not Be Removing Your Feelings Because the Bible Says Healing Is a Process
Some of you aren’t giving yourself enough credit. You are trying to heal, trying to move on, and trying to follow the Lord’s leading in your life. You may even be getting frustrated with yourself because, no matter how hard you try, you keep missing this person even though you don’t want to.
In some instances, the only thing you need to do is wait. Even if you’re doing everything right, you have to remember that true healing takes time. Lamentations 3:30-31 (NIV), “For no one is cast off by the Lord forever. Though he brings grief, he will show compassion, so great is his unfailing love.”
I’ve also found it to be true that the deeper the healing, the longer it takes for the process to complete.
So hang in there. God might be in the process of removing your feelings for this person, but you just might need to practice more patience.
As 2 Corinthians 3:18 states, “And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit.”
And don’t forget, for everyone who purchases Masculinity on Mission before 2/10/26, I’m giving away two of my courses and AGW University, along with seven of my other books in PDF format. All you need to do is email a proof of purchase (receipt or screenshot of receipt) to bonuscourse@applygodsword.com.
To purchase the book, click here!
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God bless!
-Mark
