4 Biblical Signs You’ve Received a True Relationship Dream from the Lord

Can God tell you who to marry by giving you a dream? And if you do have a dream about someone, how will you know if this was from the Lord or if it was just your own brain playing tricks on you?

While there are many examples in the Scriptures of God speaking through dreams, we must be very careful we do not make laws and principles out of other people’s experiences with God. There are no Bible verses commanding us to seek dreams. God has given us his Holy Spirit and his written word that we might follow him in truth.

And yet, again, there are biblical examples of God speaking through dreams. So while I want to encourage everyone to read their Bibles and pray because I believe these are the normal means through which God wants to speak to us, I also don’t want to limit God and tell people he will never use a dream to speak to you.

One example of a relationship dream in the Bible is found in Matthew 1:18-25 when an angel of the Lord appeared to Joseph in a dream and talked to him about Mary. By studying this passage and using other biblical principles, we can see at least 4 signs that will actually be present when God has sent someone a dream about a relationship.

1. If God Really Sends You a Relationship Dream, It Will Be Relevant and Needed

Before Joseph received a dream about Mary, some very challenging things were happening. Matthew 1:18-21 says:

This is how the birth of Jesus the Messiah came about: His mother Mary was pledged to be married to Joseph, but before they came together, she was found to be pregnant through the Holy Spirit. Because Joseph her husband was faithful to the law, and yet did not want to expose her to public disgrace, he had in mind to divorce her quietly.

But after he had considered this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, ‘Joseph son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife, because what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. She will give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins.’”

Imagine this scenario from Joseph’s perspective. He was excited to be getting married to a godly woman only to be find out she was already pregnant. Once he heard this news, he did what he should have done. He acted lawfully, wisely, and respectfully. He knew a woman who was sleeping around was not going to be a good wife, but he also didn’t want to shame her in an unloving way. So he did the biblically wise thing and sought to quietly divorce her.

God didn’t blame Joseph for his plan. Rather, God gave Joseph a supernatural dream from an angel because this is exactly what Joseph needed in order to do what God wanted. God didn’t expect Joseph to just take Mary’s word for it, throw caution to the wind, and make an unwise decision. So God gave Joseph a dream to explain the supernatural birth of Jesus.

Likewise, if God was to actually send you a dream about a relationship, I believe he will usually do this when biblical wisdom and common sense are not enough. We shouldn’t ask God to send us a dream about things that he’s already made clear through biblical principles and observable facts:

• If a woman rejects a man after he pursues her, that man doesn’t need a dream to know what he should do next. He should move on and accept she’s not interested.
• If a woman realizes a man is not as godly as she thought, this woman doesn’t need a dream to know what to do. She should move on and accept he’s not the one.
• If a couple are enjoying each other, they are living biblically, and they want to honor the Lord in marriage, they don’t need a dream to get married. They can prayerfully make that choice and proceed forward into marriage because it would be biblical.

My point is, we should not be asking God for relationship dreams every time we have a relationship question. That would fall under asking God for the type of signs he tells us not to ask for (Matthew 12:39).

Notice too that Joseph didn’t ask for this dream. God sent it because he knew Joseph needed it. Therefore, I encourage you not to seek dreams to know God’s will about your relationship future. If you need a dream to prevent you from making a mistake, God will send it.

2. If God Really Sends You a Relationship Dream, It Will Correspond with the Bible

Matthew 1:22-23, “All this took place to fulfill what the Lord had said through the prophet: ‘The virgin will conceive and give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel’ (which means ‘God with us’).”

Joseph’s dream was connected to prophesy. We should not elevate our dreams to this level of importance. This was about God coming to earth to save his people. So it makes sense that Joseph’s dream was in reference to things prophesied hundreds of years before hand and written down in the Scriptures.

However, from this experience Joseph had, we can see a principle that God will never send a dream that contradicts something that is already made clear in the Bible:

• If you think God gave you a dream to tell you that you should date or marry an unbeliever, you know that was not from God since Scripture says the opposite (2 Corinthians 6:14, 1 Corinthians 7:39)
• If you believe God is telling you through dreams that you will marry someone who doesn’t currently like you, you are probably wrong because healthy romance in Scripture is always mutual (1 Corinthians 7:36, Song of Solomon 2:16, Ruth 3:9-13, Genesis 24:58).
• If you believe God is leading you through dreams to have sex with your boyfriend or girlfriend because you are planning on getting married, you can know this is not God because he says sex is for marriage only (Hebrews 13:4).

If God has really given you a relationship dream, you will be able to connect verses to its meaning (2 Timothy 3:16-17). It will lead you to make a wise decision, a loving action, or to have a biblical motive.

For example, perhaps, like Joseph, you will have a fear that is blocking you from loving the person God wants you to love. Perhaps through a dream God will give you peace that you should love this person even though you are afraid. That would be a biblical action, so it makes sense that God would actually send you a dream to say that to you.

3. If God Really Send You a Relationship Dream, You Will Gain Clarity, Not Confusion, and You Will Know What Clear Action Steps You Should Take

Over the years, I’ve received many emails from people asking me to interpret a relationship dream. When we look at Joseph’s relationship dream, however, the meaning was very clear to him. Even in other parts of Scripture where someone had a confusing dream or a vision, God provided a clear interpretation so the person knew exactly what it meant (Genesis 40:8, Daniel 2:28).

If you receive a dream about someone and you wake up confused, it’s wise to pray about it to see if God might give you meaning. However, if it’s just confusing and you need to attach all kinds of random meanings to little details in the dream that could mean anything, it’s highly unlikely God actually sent you that dream. God can speak through dreams, but most dreams are just your brain creating stories with the thoughts and feelings you had when you were awake. Thus, if you’ve been thinking a lot about someone, it’s natural for you to dream about that person.

All that to say, God is not a confusing God (1 Corinthians 14:33). When Joseph woke up from his dream, he knew exactly what God was saying and he knew exactly what he was supposed to do. Matthew 1:24 states, “When Joseph woke up, he did what the angel of the Lord had commanded him and took Mary home as his wife.”

4. If God Really Sends You a Relationship Dream, What You Saw in the Dream Will Be Confirmed Through Reality

Matthew 1:25, “But he did not consummate their marriage until she gave birth to a son. And he gave him the name Jesus.” They didn’t have ultrasounds back then, so the fact that Mary gave birth to a son and not a daughter was confirming the dream. Also, Mary also had a vision and she was told to name him Jesus (Luke 1:31), just as Joseph was told this. Next, God sent angles to the shepherds and they came and found Jesus without Mary and Joseph mentioning their dreams and visions to them (Luke 2:15).

On and on the confirmation came. Joseph had a miraculous dream and then everything happened in reality just as the dream had said. When the angel spoke to Mary, he ended his speech by saying, “For no word from God will ever fail” (Luke 1:37).

If you dream about something that never happens, God didn’t send that dream.

There’s a lot more I could say, so if you want to keep learning about relationship dreams, here’s another article I made about this topic: 4 Reasons God Allowed You to Dream About Someone